MALiGNANCE
by Allie Capphar
Summary: Seth Clearwater imprinting story. Because Seth needs some love. Even imprints need to deal with MALiGNANCE. Rated T to be safe. Seth/OC
1. BOOK ONE: ONE

**So...She Dances**

"Are you ready, Annabelle?"

"Just — one — second!" I called from the top of the stairs, hopping on one foot, trying desperately to shove my sneakers on. I could have worn my outfit to the studio, but wearing a ballet outfit down a Port Angeles street could get you some really funny looks, so it was in my bag. Not that I wasn't all for funny, but my dad would probably have a fit. He was all for having a son, but my mom could only handle one baby, and poof! Out popped Anna. Not Mitchell, Anna. Annabelle Lisa Winston. It always sounded so proper – a dancer's name, I guess. Not a name for a goofball like me, but for a dancer like me. My two interlocking sides.

"Shoot," I muttered, trying to pull my finger out of the sneaker. My heel was in, but unfortunately, so was my index finger. Giving a yank, I heard my finger crack, something that I never did. Cracking fingers and knuckles was just disgusting to me. Taking the stairs two at a time, I met my father at the bottom. He looked almost nothing like me — His nose was long and big, while mine was curvy. His head was angular, mine was more rounded. And he was tall. Now, I wasn't extremely short, but to a good degree. I came up to just below his enormous shoulder.

"Ready," I said gleefully. Dance was my getaway.

"OK then, Anne...you go get in the car."

"Sure."

The car was gorgeous. Well, in a family sort of way. It was a minivan, but it was silver. I didn't know the name, but it was very...square. I normally didn't like such geometric shapes for my cars, but this one was special. The windshield sloped down elegantly, so it was like a box with one of the flaps put down. Except it was curvy. The car was hard to explain, but I loved it. The cashmere seats, especially. They were worn down and soft with age. This van had been around since I was five, but we didn't really need a minivan. It was from when my Grandpa had my dad and all _five_ of his sisters. My poor dad. I bet they made him do dance class. It would have been good — show my dad some culture!

Climbing into the front seat, I settled down into it gently. It had a sort of "broken in" comfort that could only be found after something's been used for generations. Throwing my bag in behind me, not worrying what it hit, I prodded the button for the radio. My classical station. I didn't know the name of the song, but it made me think of a sad, slow waltz. Popping in my dance CD, "White Houses" blasted around the car. This was better. I did like classy music, but this was my solo dance piece.

My dad clambered ungracefully into the driver's side.

"Dad, could you try to drive above 'snail's pace' today? I want to get there on time. And ease up on the brake." He was such a horrible driver. Most dads were too fast. Mine? Total slug.

"Are you going to be a backseat driver?" His voice was rough and scraggily, like his beard.

"Um...I'm in the front seat. So, I guess that makes me...a front seat driver?"

We both laughed. It was easy to be with my dad, even though he wanted me to be Mitchell instead of his Annie. The thing that got me was that it was weird, too, because _I_ wanted to be his Mitchell, too. I wanted to please him. My mother was...well...irresponsible at best, so I didn't have trouble getting on her good side. They — my mother and father — were divorced, and it was because they were so different. He was the logical one, and she was the daredevil. When I was little, I used to think they balanced each other out. Now I saw them for what they were — polar opposites.

Dad changed my song right at the bridge.

"_My...fi — THRILLAH!! THRILLA NIGHT," _blared the radio.

"God, Dad!" I shouted over the radio, but he only turned it up.

"_You're Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer, Thriller Tonight!_"

It was so impossibly loud that I turned and stared out the window the rest of the way.

"Anne, Anne? Annie?" My dad was shaking my shoulder.

"Wha?" I blinked. We were outside the studio. "Oh. Um...bye, love you!"

Hauling my bag out of the backseat, I ran down the rest of the way to L'Académie d'Arielle Frances de Studio de Danse (Yeah, you want to try spelling that on your admissions papers? 'Why are you coming to the Academy? Please write in complete sentences!') The streets of Port Angeles were only just filling up, so I got there in no time, just enough to see my dad driving behind me, very conspicuously, might I add. I blew him an air-kiss before pulling open the old oak door with the wide glass pane that said:

_**L'Académie d'Arielle Frances de Studio de Danse **_

and in smaller print (much smaller, to fit it all):

_Appréciez s'il vous plaît votre temps de danse et souvenez-vous : Nous ne voulons pas de danseurs qui veulent danser, nous voulons des danseurs qui DOIVENT danser!_

-- -- -- --

"Take it from zee top, _chéris_!" Madame Frances called from her director's chair. The first thing I had ever noticed about her was her hair, and at the moment, it was sticking out in several odd angles. Like a beaten up triangle, made of curly red-orange hair that had to be the result of over-lightening brown hair. It was a brassy orange, not a color that was intended, I guess. We were doing tap at the moment, and the entire class groaned. For once in my life, I joined them. Three hours of dance — whether it be hip-hop, ballet, tap, jazz... — hadn't ever taken a toll on me, but for some reason, I had an enormous head ache. It was right at the back of my head, and it was nagging me to insanity. I couldn't think clearly, so I just lined up with the rest of my group. Madame Frances flipped on "Buttercup" by The Foundations, and we started tapping. It wasn't my favorite song to tap to, and it was sort of hard because it was a little slow for our level, but our group did OK with it, and we always tried to throw in extra fast moves to balance things out. We always managed to get away with a little bit of solo without the Frank-mister noticing. We always worked it out in free break time who's turn it was. Today was Kristen. She did a little wild tap thing from her spot. Frances didn't notice. My head was pounding, though, so I didn't catch a few steps.

"Very good,_ Oies Splendides!_" cheered Madame Frances.

"Did she just call us —"

"I think she really did —"

"Geese? Gorgeous Geese?"

Madame Frances had hit a new low. Twirling her wild orange hair around a finger, she waved her free hand, a signal that told us we were free to leave. Everyone dashed out, but I stayed behind. I had a private ballet lesson for my solo piece. It was something the Academy did to the person that the board — I had no idea what that was — picked out of each group that was above all the rest. Apparently, that was me this year, just like it was last year, and the year before when they started the whole thing. I was in for it.

-- -- -- --

"Annabelle? Are you paying attention?"

"No," I answered truthfully. "I have a horrible headache. May I be excused a little early?"

"_Oui, oui. Avancez, alors, le chéri_!" She often talked in french to her students, Madame Frances. Since I had grown up with a French grandmother around — my father's mother, my mom's mom was Irish, and great fun when she wasn't totally wasted — I was pretty much fluent in French, all save for the writing part. I just got so mixed up with all of the wacky spellings that I couldn't write a french word for my life, other than, "Oui".

"_Merci beaucoup_," I said gratefully, whisking myself and my baggage — one ballet bag with tap, hip-hop, and jazz outfits in it — into the waiting room where I would encounter my father. He wasn't always early, but I was surprised not to see him there when I entered. There was someone sitting in there from the La Push reservation, but I didn't think much of it.

"Quil Ateara?" called Madame Frances from behind me. The boy stood up, and I realized, with a jolt, that he was no boy. A very tall man, in fact, he look around twenty five.

"I'm considering dance lessons for my — for a girl named Claire," he said in a deep, husky voice.

"Yes, and vat does zee name have to do vit anyting?" I imagined that this Quil was having a hard time understanding my eccentric teacher's accent and wording. _Vould you like a piece of pie? I said, vould you like a piece of pie? Vould you? Vould you like me to stop talking like zees? I bet you vould!_

"Um...I don't know...? Look, how much are they, and who do you think would be teaching them?"

"Vell, I vill be teaching eet, of course. But Annabelle vill be student teaching, von't you, Annabelle?" I looked up at the sound of my name.

"I vill — I mean, I will?" I'd still been making fun of her accent, and I guess I'd carried it over to my normal speech patterns.

She huffed. "Vell, of _course_ you vill, _cheri_! Did ve not tell you or somesing?"

"Um, yeah! You kinda missed mentioning that to me, Madame Frank — um, Frances." She must have been feeling a little slow today, because she missed my name slip-up, too.

"Vell, you vill be. Droit? Droit. Bien, sont vous dans?"

"Are you in," I translated quickly in Quil's ear. He gave a little nudge of thanks, then nodded.

"She's two," he put in.

"I am avare of zee age of said child. Ve discussed eet over zee phone? _Oui_?"

"Wewe, I mean, yes." He obviously didn't know much french.

"All settled! _Voir-vous les jolis poulets plus tard, alors_!" With that, she threw the keys at me and strode out the door. It was only then I noticed that she was wearing a leopard patterned leotard.

"What did she —,"

"She said 'See you pretty chickens later, then'. Yes. She actually just called the last class, 'Gorgeous Geese'. No lie. Well, I, er, have to lock up, I guess. And you should probably be getting back to your Claire...?"

"I don't live with Claire. I just visit."

"Oh...OK, then. Well, have a nice night!" As the enormous man left, I looked at the digital clock that hung on the steel-blue, peeling walls of the waiting room. It was 9:01. Dad was late.

Locking the door on my way out, I sat on my bag, waiting patiently for the car. I'd been here since five o'clock, and all I wanted to do was get home. Finally my favorite minivan pulled up.

"Sorry, hon, I had to grab groceries."

"Don't worry, Daddy. Your only ten minutes late..." I trailed off.

"I really, really and sorry," he apologized.

"Don't sweat it, Daddy-o. I just want to unload these groceries and go to bed."

He smiled, and pulled forward down the dark streets of Port Angeles, towards Forks, towards home.


	2. BOOK ONE: TWO

_Hi luvvies! Thanks for all two of your reviews! _**IheartHP95 **_and _**Spooky Kat 87 **_were my only two reviews, unless I get more as I'm writing this chapter! I forgot to put translations for my last chapter's other language. The first translation was from the name, which translates to _**The Academy of Arielle Frances of Studio of Dance **_except it was supposed to be _**The Arielle Frances Studio for the Academy of Dance,**_ but the translator I used was stupid and it wouldn't let me have all that. The second one is _**Appreciate your time of dance please and remember: We do not want dancers who want to dance, we want dancers who HAVE TO dance! **_So _**IheartHP95**_, you were VERY close. _**Cheri **_is_** Darling**, so any time you see that, you should know. **Splendid Gooses**_, or what my characters called them, _**'Gorgeous Geese'**_, was _**Oies Splendides.** **Oui, oui. Avancez, alors, le chéri! **_means _**Yes, yes. Move forward darling, then! **_Loving my superb translating skillz? _**Droit? Droit. Bien, sont vous dans? (which I forgot to put in italics in the story, sorry!) **_Translates to _**Right? Right. Definitely, are you in? Voir-vous les jolis poulets plus tard, alors **_the last one, translates to _**See you the pretty chickens later, then! **_Okay, done with that! Enjoy Seth's point of view, because I thought he deserved one! It'll be short, with just about zero action. Not very exciting, eh? Maybe if you review, you'll give me ideas! Maybe I'll make it a double update day! Love you all, Allie. And review, lovelies, review!_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

If there was one thing I hated the most about being a werewolf, it was having to keep it from everyone. I'd love to go and flaunt myself in front of the ladies and say, "Hey, where are you gonna get some _werewolf_?" and watch them swarm. But that's not what would happen. Someone would call Animal Control, or PETA, or something like that, and all I'd get was a dose of tranquilizer while they put me up somewhere in Canada. Even if I was a werewolf, I had no sense of direction, per se. If I got stuck up in Canada, someone would have to come get me.

But there are perks to being a werewolf. The speed, the sense of smell (mhmm, Emily's cooking...), the fur — it keeps you warm, mind you, and most of all, the sense of family. I've never felt closer to my sister in my _life_, even if she is still a total brat. It's nice to fit in, to belong somewhere, and that's just about my favorite part of being a huge, sandy wolf. The feeling like your part of something, feeling like you matter. Even though, well, I've never really mattered much because Collin, Brady and I were the youngest and, well, that doesn't leave much for us to do but be tag-a-longs. It was rotten, but then again, we were always first to get the food. And, man, was it always worth it.

-- -- -- --

"Cowin, hand me yow muffin," I said, trying to talk around my muffin.

"Why should I! It's the last one. Do you think I'm that thick?" Collin thrust his muffin into his mouth. It was probably cold by now, because he'd been hoarding it the whole time while Brady and I were stuffing our faces. Did he honestly think that it would be better after a long wait? I thought not. Emily placed a new pan before us.

"Slow, it's hot. Don't touch the —," but she stopped, remembering that, even if we touched the metal, it wouldn't be much hotter than us. That was another thing for a werewolf — you couldn't really get burned. I mean, sure, you _could_, say, you fell into a bond fire pit, but we werewolves always healed up quick. It was a perk, definitely. I loved being a fast healer. I could do tons of dangerous stuff, and not have any consequences for it, all save for some grief on my mother's part about, "Not getting the point," or "Do you see Jacob or Quil or Embry doing that?" She always compared me to the three of them. Sure, Jacob was just about my _idol_, but that didn't mean that every time she compared them to my actions, I'd see the light. It just didn't happen that way.

I yanked two muffins from their slot in the pan and thrust them into my waiting mouth. Brady broke his in half, tossing one half in the air, shoving the other quickly in his mouth, then attempting to catch the other in his mouth. Keyword — attempting. He missed and the steaming zucchini bread muffin slapped him in the eye. He clapped his hand over his eye while Collin and I erupted in hoots of laughter. Emily rushed over with a cold pack for the thirteen year old while he took off the muffin piece. While Emily wasn't looking, he pushed the half into his mouth.

"What did I _tell_ you, Brady?" she asked in a tone laced with sternness and warmth. That was normally the Emily combo.

"Not to do twicks wif muffins." She was so busy with his eye that she didn't notice that he was chewing as he spoke. With an enormous gulp, he sighed gently.

"How does that feel, Brady?" She asked kindly, standing back so see if his eye looked OK. It looked fine to me. Besides, we were fast healers.

-- -- --

_Have you scented the Cullens or others, Seth? _I recognized Sam's cool, calm voice inside my head. I was just at the edge of the forest, near the treaty border. I hadn't scented anything along the border, so they hadn't been near here in a while. Maybe they'd been going to the state park to hunt? I had nothing against the Cullens, but I didn't like the fact that they went out and drank animal blood. I mean, sure, it was better than human blood, but still. It gave me the heebie-jeebies. A strong, familiar plant scent caught my attention and I looked over to see a blackberry plant to my right.

_Nope, no vampires here. _It was boring not to find anything. I hated not finding anything. I'd always longed for a vampire to fight, even if I wasn't the best at fighting. It would turn this work into play. Yes, I considered patrolling work. You had to go around all of the borders, and check the area inside of them. Vampires weren't common, so when you were on patrol and you found on, it was lucky. Well... lucky if you didn't die, that is. Or get all your blood sucked out, which is dying, I guess. Not that any of that happened...yet. But it could.

_OK, then, you can go head in. Make sure you tell Embry it's his turn to come out. Ask him to bring Collin and either Jacob or Quil. OK? _His voice was commanding. He was always so in control.

_Got it,_ I thought, trying to hold in my excitement. I was getting off early! It was always great to get off early, because then I could go with Collin and Brady down to Port Angeles. There were always the hottest girls there.

-- -- -- --

_Well, how was it? I'll never know until you guys review. I'm seriously considering making this a double update day, so get ready for either the Encounter between the two of our characters, or another Annabelle chapter, which would be meeting her mom. I'm going to do more Annabelle until I can get Seth's character in order. He seems kind of flat to me right now, so I'm going to do some character development. OK? Bye Dearies!_

_Love,_

_Allie_


	3. BOOK ONE: THREE

_Hi! Well, I said it would be a double review! This chapter should make up for Seth's flatness. Man, he was like a pancake! Oh well, I did a character exercise, so now he should be OK. OK? This is from Anna's point of view, hope you guys like it! Oh, and a little tip — I always like to view my stories in the 1/2 setting from the little toolbar with the fonts that's there when you read the story. But that's just my preference — it makes my paragraphs look fuller._

_Love,_

_Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"Anna, are you ready?"

My bag was packed, and I was all dressed, but I was no where near ready. I was never ready to visit my mother. She was so wacky, so far from what my father was, that it was always such a drastic change for me. And I was visiting for an entire weekend. My mother was so irresponsible, and carefree. With my luck, Grandma Bette would be there too, lampshade and all. Wonderful. Just perfect. With my luck, she'd forget my dance lessons tonight, or she'd forget to pick me up. I'd be there all night, I supposed.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I replied grudgingly. I loved my mother — really, I did. But...sometimes, I preferred to love her at a distance. She could be so... Overbearing. That was the word for it. And she talked _so loud._ My headache was still as bad as ever, and I was starting to teach classes in a week. Thank God I'd be with Dad _then._

My dad grinned, obviously happy at the aspect that I wasn't looking forward to visiting my mother. We both slid into the minivan, and my dad took off at snail's pace, down the road that, eventually, would lead to my mother's house.

-- -- -- --

"Oh, _HONEY! _I missed you so much!"

There she went, talking as loud as she could without yelling. Surprisingly, it didn't do much to my headache. It was already throbbing in the back of my skull. My mother wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me like a toothpaste bottle, then held me at arms length, looking me over. I looked her over, too. From her blonde hair, a shade lighter than mine, thanks to her obsession with overusing peroxide, to her, well, larger than average chest. I got my looks from my mother. Her circular head, like a planet, and a tangled up mess of wavy hair orbiting around it. I got my pin straight hair from Dad, I guess. I'd noticed countless time how similar our eyes were, as everyone brought it up. Both pair were blue, with lighter and darker flecks thrown into the mix. I always thought they were odd, and wanted green eyes. I wanted to look intelligent, not cute.

"I missed you two," I muttered, trying to wriggle out of her firm grip. She squeezed again, and then released.

"Soo...are you going to go, um, watch TV?"

My mother knew zero about me.

"Um...no? I was going to go say hi to Grandma, then go practice my solo routine. Is...is that OK?" I asked uneasily._ What, is she going to forbid me from seeing Grandma Bette? With my luck, no._

"Oh. OK." Mom was totally out of her element, and though it was justifying to see such a display of unsureness, I felt bad.

"I'll say hello, then I'm going into the backyard. OK?"

"OK."

Making my way past Mom to the door, I spotted Grandma Bette laying on the couch, watching TV. It'd been so long since I'd seen the living room. It was the first room you saw when you walked into my Mom's house, but the kitchen was still easily viewable through a doorway with no door. The carpet was a dingy gray color, and it was shag. I kicked off my shoes, looking around. She'd repainted the walls — one was a burgundy red, with white flowers painted on it with long, winding green stems. That was the wall with the doorway in it, pushed farthest to the left as possible. The wall to my right was orange, and it didn't have any paint on it. The other two walls were yellow, with orange suns on it. My eccentric, artistic mother. Next thing I knew, she'd be putting in orange carpet, only to change it two months later. This one was getting old.

"Annabelle, 's that you?"

"Yup."

My Grandma Bette had wavy white hair. Blue eyes, too. She looked so frail, you would never know what a drunkard she was. I could tell she had already started drinking today because her voice was thick with scotch. Plus, there was a Jack Daniels can to her right, on the coffee table. Her wrinkles seemed deeper, but she smiled a toothy smile. Well, more like a tooth smile. She was losing her teeth at an alarming pace, in my opinion. Last time I was here, she'd lost one in an English muffin. Maybe she was in need of some dentures, but all that stood in the place of where her teeth used to be was maybe some swollen gums...or a chunk of food she'd failed to swallow. _Ew._

"Aw, c'mere, doll face! I l—," She was cut off by a hacking, which she doused with a swig from the can. "Give your Gram a huugump!"

"Um, Grams, your drunk, so I don't really understand you. A...a hugump?" I asked curiously.

"Ye...ya know..." She threw her arms around herself.

"A _hug_?"

"Thats wha' I said? Ya need to pay more attentions, dearie." As she said this, I leaned in for a hug, trying to close my eyes and imagine that my head wasn't pounding, that I wasn't here, _not practicing_, and that I wasn't breathing in my Grandma's drunk stench.

"I have to...um...practice, Grams," I said quietly.

"M'kay, have fun!" She hiccuped, then leaned further into the pillow, and soon her breathing was slowed. I didn't understand how my mother could live with her, but then again, that was _her_ mother. I would have my mother live with me in her old age if she needed it, but she was so independent she'd never admit to needing help. Plus, she'd probably give my home an unwanted make-over. A drunkie and an artist living in one house — what a match.

Then my little Pomeranian totted in and started yipping up a storm.

"Freddy!" I called to him. His full name was Fred Astaire, but I wasn't going to say that to him every time I called him. That was stupid. But he responded to anything that sounded remotely like his name. My mother told me that a Yellow Lab next door was named Teddy, and every time he was called, Fred came running over to Mrs. Marco, Teddy's owner. I smiled at the memory, but my little flashback was interrupted my Gram's hacking cough. Scooping up Fred, I went through the kitchen to the backyard.

-- -- -- --

My mother's backyard was, well, like any other backyard. Only it was smaller. There was a radio/boom-box thing sitting on the ledge of the windowsill that looked out onto the little plot of grass. Thank God it had a CD player. The grass was dying, thanks to Freddy's pee, which I thought only happened with girl dogs — the _precise _reason that I had gotten a boy dog, to save my mother some grief over a lost lawn — but POOF! Freddy has to be unique and kill grass. Running my toes over the scratchy Earth-hairs, I placed Freddy down and flipped on the radio. A song I didn't recognize began playing — some rap that only my mother and my grandma would listen to. Both of my parents had a CD of my dance solo, so I knew it would already be in there. Switching the setting to CD, then going up to five on the song setting. My six count began, and I was only just ready when it started.

The song was fast paced, and it only gave a six count before it really started, so by the time I was actually dancing, I started off beat. That was bad. Maybe I could just start over...? No. I got on beat fast, and then I was off. Fan Kicks and Barrel Jumps — the whole song was filled with action! And I loved every minute of it.

-- -- -- --

_What do you think? The only way I'll find out is if you REVIEW! I'm thinking, since this was a little short for my taste, that I may even put up another chapter today. It would be the encounter, though, so it might have to wait until tomorrow. Well, Gorgeous Geese, REVIEW!_

_Until next time, my pretty chickens,_

_Allie_


	4. BOOK ONE: FOUR

_So, loves, this is it — the encounter! I'm still working on how it's all going to play out, soo...yeah. If it seems choppy, just say so. OH! And there are pictures of Seth and Anna on my page. Also, the video that inspired this story is on there. I thank AneleTiger for the idea of pictures, since -cough- STOLE IT -cough- borrowed it from her. So here it is!_

_Love, Allie_

PS: If you get confused on what the date is, the weekend is over and her Dad is picking her up from dance, rather than going to her mother's house.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"Bye, Sweetie!"

"See yer, Debbie!"

"Ma, you know her name isn't Debbie!"

But they were already driving away. I wasn't phased by my Grandmother's horrible memory. All of the scotch _had_ to have gotten to her sometime. And I didn't blame her for forgetting my name — it wasn't like a was a memorable person. I rubbed my head unconsciously — this had been my last day at my mother's house, and it had been long. My headache was still present for reasons I didn't understand, and Grams had called me various forms of the name Deborah. "Hey yer, Deb! Gimme sommer that pizza crust!" "G'nigh, Debbie." It did get a little irksome, but I could deal, even with that. My Grandmother was senile, and that was a good enough excuse for me.

Hauling my dance-bag off the sidewalk, I paused looking at the summer sky dim. It was so pretty, and I hated to go inside the Studio when the sun was setting just like it was now, casting the sky in red. _When did I get all poetic? It must be the headache_, I thought groggily. Because there was never a perfect sky, and poetry was simply fluff to fill up people who had no character. It seemed harsh, but poetry annoyed me. And it annoyed me to no end when people compared it to dance. Poetry was mental. Dance was physical, mental, _and_ spiritual. So there.

Pushing open the door, my eyes locked with that Quil boy — man — that I'd met earlier in the week. With him was a tiny little girl with enormous brown eyes. She smiled up at me with all seven and a half of her teeth. I smiled back politely. She was just getting done with her lesson, I supposed. I started assistant teaching in two days. Everything at this studio _always _started on Tuesdays. Mondays were off days. The _only _off days. Sometimes it annoyed me that I had no life outside dance, but then I came to my senses and realized that my life _i_s dance, so Mondays became lonely days. It was nice coming back.

"Hi, Quil," I greeted kindly.

"Hi...er..." He didn't remember me, which was natural, because no one remembered a girl like me.

"Anna, I helped...um...translate?" I laughed awkwardly at myself. Comprehension flickered in his face, and he laughed too. It shocked me how loud it was. The little girl laughed to.

"I'm Claire, I'm Claire, I'm Claire!" That didn't help my headache — which, at this point, kept throbbing and throbbing and _throbbing_ to the beat of her shouting — but I smiled politely.

"Hey, Claire. Guess what?"

She obviously liked this guessing game. "What?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!"

Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch. "I'm going to help teach you dance on Tuesday!"

"On _Tuesday_?" she asked curiously.

"Yup."

"Cooool!" She held out the single-syllabled word for four beats. _Co-o-o-ol._ I don't know why, but it annoyed me a little. I wasn't one for grammar or poetry or writing, but her single mistake was getting me all worked up. In vain, I tried to correct her speech in my painfully-pulsing brain.

"Yes. Very cool," I said kindly, trying to mask my aching head by smiling with all of my teeth. It worked, because no one asked, "Are you being stabbed from the inside of your stomach? You look like you swallowed a knife or something." _No_, I would reply, _but someone is kicking me in the brain._

"Well, me and Quil —," _Quil and I. _" — have to go. We're going to watch some Power Puff Girls, right?"

"Of course," replied Quil shamelessly.

"OK C'MON C'MON C'MON!" _OK. Come on, Come on, Come on._

"I'll see you two Tuesday, then."

"Right. See you, Allie!" _Annie. Anna. Anne. Annabelle. NOT ALLIE!_

"Bye, Quil."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

Quil had asked a favor, and I wasn't about to be the one to turn him down. I was supposed to walk Claire to ballet on Tuesday, today, and wait for her to finish. One whole _hour. _And I didn't even get to watch. Supposedly, according to Brady, some really hot girls danced there, but he still wouldn't come with me. No one would come with me. Quil had patrol, and that was his excuse (he'd come to pick her up, I was just supposed to stay until she was done, incase she "got hurt". She was three, what dancing moves could she possible learn that would hurt her? The double death jump three million? Yeah.), but everyone else was, "busy" with other things. Jacob had to replace Billy's screens. Collin had a "family commitment" (fat chance). I didn't even bother asking Leah. She'd give me a, "Squirt, I hate to say this, but, HOW ABOUT NO?" and lock herself in her room, playing stupid boy-bands so that she could drown me out. Yeah, and I thought I was lucky to have a sister who's a werewolf with me.

So, Claire hanging onto my arm with brute force as a car whipped by the sidewalk, we walked down to the dance studio. She had insisted on wearing her little tutu there, but Quil had insisted that it would be to cold ("Um, Quil, it's _summer._" "...so?") for her to wear it, so they had settled halfway, and in her little jeans, she walked down the street with a pink shirt, and, to my own dismay, a _frilly tutu._ Now, how horrible is it that I have to walk a three and a half year old — I risk my right eye if I forget to mention "and a half" — down Port Angeles, even though kids are chick _magnets_, but she has to wear a tutu. With my luck, the prettiest girl will come over to talk to _Claire._ Because that's always been the way things work for me. I borrowed Collin's puppy once, and the girls came over to pet him, and then _left. _Just _left._ They barely said hello to me.

"Where — are — we — going — Uncle — Seth?" said Claire said between hopping over the spaces between the sidewalk plates. I could imagine her thoughts. _Step on a crack, break your Mommy's back. Step on a crack, break your Mommy's back. _

"We're going to take you to dance, or ballet, or whatever." It made me feel a little important that she called me Uncle Seth, but only a smidgen. It wasn't that great of an honor to be an uncle. Not that I would officially know, but still, there was the fact that the entire pack consisted of Claire's "Uncles" and an "Aunt". Of course, that wasn't counting Emily, since she wasn't a werewolf... _Wow, Seth. Wait to point out the obvious in your internal thoughts! Emily's not a werewolf? I never would have guessed! _The voice of my conscience always took on the voice and mannerisms of Leah, so it never really gave me anything useful.

"O — Kay!" Hop — Hop — Hop. It was an entrancing rhythm, but I wasn't paying attention. I saw the sign up ahead — not that I could read it. It was written in French. Joy, now I was going to have to deal with French junkies? I loved French..._fries._ I'd never red a word of French in my life, so I couldn't really be sure if Quil hadn't said, "Oh, don't worry about finding it. It will be the only French writing on the street. Y'know, the stuff you can't read? Oh, wait, _can_ baby Seth read?" _Yeah, and baby Seth can hit too! _Quil hadn't really been marked, but he yelped when I had smacked him, while Jacob and Embry had hooted with raucous laughter. I loved making people laugh, like Jake and Embry and Quil did. They were all funny, and I _wasn't_, and it ticked me off.

"Here — we — are," I said, jumping with Claire. She looked pleased with this.

"Oh — OK!"

Grabbing her by her little hand, I walked Claire inside...

...and my eyes locked with the most beautiful creature I'd ever met.

Now I could fully appreciate the phrase, "Gravity shifts." It was like my entire center of being moved. My stomach dropped to the floor, and my heart skyrocketed, lodging itself in my throat. I was tongue tied as she gazed at me with her enormous blue eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, her eyes that never ended. Her hair, all gelled back and up in a bun, was the most perfect hair I'd ever seen. Blonde, but not enough to be mocked as a "dumb blonde". She was small, but lean and, I imagined, nimble. She must be a ballerina. _No_, I thought, _she must be an _angel. My vision began failing me, and wild colors shot across my eyes, blocking her out. Was this imprinting? Was I fainting? No, I needed to see her! As if on cue, the colors stopped. I was panting like a dog.

"Um...hi?" she ventured shyly.

"Hiiiiii..." I drooled.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

I'd been sitting in the same chair for twenty minutes, because Madame Frank had said I

should "be early". She had yet to arrive. But then, the door clicked open, and I met a brown stare. He had very brown eyes — and tanned skin — and dark curls — and a godlike bod — wait, what? He had no shirt on. Holy mother of crap, he was shirtless. I'd only seen a man shirtless once — and it was apparent that this boy was soon to be a man — and that was my DAD at a pool party. He had nice abs — _WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! _my conscience screamed at me. _Gor-geoooooooos. _I mumbled back.

"Um...hi?"

"Hiiiiii..." he replied. His voice was rough, and yet it had a smoothness to counteract it that I couldn't quite explain.

"Hi, Claire. Do you —,"

"What's your name?" asked the boy suddenly.

"Anna," I spit out quickly, just as eager.

"I'm Seth." He was just as fast. "I...um...I took Claire here for Quil."

"I see..."

"Um...Um...I have to go make a phone call...er..." He ducked out of the room, pulling something out of his cut-off jeans pocket. It was a cell phone, I realized with exaggerated slowness. His back was creased down the middle in such a perfect way that all my breath was knocked out. I'd never seen a more godlike back.

"Ooooh, he liiiiikes yoooou!" shouted Claire.

I just stood there in shock.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh Jesus, pick up, Sam, pick _up_, _pl _—," I was cut off by Sam's calm

voice.

"Seth? What is it?"

"Oh God, Oh God," I panted.

"What?" Sam was getting a little worried — I could picture him now, with that little vein in the side of his temple popping out, but not quite yet. Like the time when Emily had burned herself on the stove, and she couldn't let go of her hand to let him see it because it hurt so bad. Not like that yet, but from my tone, he was getting there.

"I...I...Oh God, I..."

"Seth, spit it out!" Sam sounded agitated and frightened at the same time.

"I imprinted."

I heard a whoosh of breath on the other side, then, "God, Seth, you had me scared out of my mind!"

"What do I do?"

"What do you do? You go talk to her! Get to know her! _What do you do_," said Sam, though his impression of me was lacking.

"I thought, maybe, maybe...there was some...protocol?"

"Nope. Wait, where did you meet her?"

"Dance place with Claire."

"What's her name?"

Finally, a worthy question. "_Anna_," I sighed, remembering her face in my mind. Her confused place.

"Wait, you said you were with Claire..."

"CLAIRE!" Shoot, I'd forgotten all about Claire! "Anna, Anna, she's teaching her dance. Don't worry." I'd managed to console myself too.

"Well, I have to get back on patrol. Don't worry — be yourself. She'll love you no matter what...I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, I've never met anyone who _hasn't..._ Whatever, I have to get to the pack —"

"WAIT!"

"What?"

"D-don't tell anyone," I stammered.

"Whatever you say, Seth."

There was a click, and the line went dead.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"Weeeeeeeee!" Claire spun in a little circle. Madame Frank had shown up, much later,

and Seth was watching them patiently from the corner. His eyes never left me, and it scared me, having all this attention. I'd never had someone stare at me so long that I couldn't tune out. Audiences I could deal with — Seth? Though it felt natural, I also was still trying to cope with Madame Frances eyeing me, watching my teaching skills, and Claire screaming at the top of her lungs. Looking up at the clock, I sighed in relief — it was time to go. I'd been excused from later classes today, unfortunately, because the Frank-Frank said that I should let the teaching, "soak in".

"OK, Claire, I think we're done for today. Next Tuesday, then?"

"YES, YES, YES!" _Take the shrieking, _down_ a notch. _This was why she was the only one in the class — no one wanted their hyperactive three year olds to be spinning around in dance class with _other_ hyperactive — and potentially dangerous — three year olds. Most parents were smart. Good thing Claire was the only one.

"Wonderful. You're OK to go, then?" I turned my attention to Seth, my stomach flip-flopping. He was Seth, God of the Sun, and here I was, a little ol' commoner, looking up on him. I'd whisper his name on my dying breath, hoping that he would escort me to heaven, or wherever he lived... He was talking, so I zoned in.

"...come walk around with me, if that's alright and you don't have anywhere to be..." he finished awkwardly.

"Don't...don't you have to take Claire home?"

"No, Quil is coming to get her. I thought, I thought I just said...Well, can you?" It looked like I would kill him if I said no.

"Madame Frances, can I use a ph—," But he was already digging his phone out of his pocket. Like a Labrador Retriever, he brought the phone to me like a dog playing fetch. I quickly dialed Dad's cell.

"Um, Dad?" _How am I going to put this? "Hey, Dad, this boy I just met that looks like something out of a modeling magazine asked me to take a walk with him around Port Angeles. Can I go with him? Pleeeeease?"_

"Anna?"

"Yeah. Can I stay late at dance?" I lied easily, and I didn't understand how I could. Was it my pulsing head that was giving me this newfound power?

"Sure, why?"

Shoot. "Madame Frances is going to help me with my solo routine. For the recital? Y'know, 'White Houses'?"

"Yeah, sure. Pick you up at normal time, then?"

"Sure, why not?"

"OK, I love you."

"Love ya, too, Dad."

"Bye."

"Bye," I said, clicking the "end" button.

"We have three hours, then I'm back here."

"OK!" said Seth delightedly.

Quil was waiting in the other room. "Claire!" he exclaimed, so much love in his voice that it was hard to believe that they weren't related.

"Qwiw!" she yelled running into his arms.

"Thanks Seth, Allie."

"_Anna_," Seth announced, with too much protectiveness for a stranger. Were they...were they...friends? In such a short time? He was defending her!

"Oh, sorry, Anna. You should have said something sooner."

I blushed. Seth, as if it were such a natural thing, grabbed my hand in his own — which felt like it had been sitting on a stove-top — towed me out the door.

-- -- -- --

_Soooo, what did you think? C'mon luvvies, review!_

_Love,_

_Allie_


	5. BOOK ONE: FIVE

_So, loves, I'd like to thank all of my viewers and subscribers for sticking with me, because this is actually the longest story that I've actually ever had on Fanfiction due to my, um, problems with updating WHICH ARE RESOLVED NOW thank you very much, lol. So everyone that has reviewed, well, give yourself a cookie. Don't worry, there is a SPECIAL prize at the end of this chapter if you review! Yes._

_Love, Allie_

_PS: ON WITH THE CHAPTER!_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"...and we can get something to eat and walk around and..."

Seth sounded like an overactive five year old that was given the day to do whatever he wanted to do. The problem was, we only had three hours. But, I liked it — having someone be excited over me. I'd never had a friend get excited over me — not that I'd ever really had any friends, outside dance, that is. This was a pleasant change. It almost felt like...like..._holy mother of _crap. I was on a _date._ Or at least it felt like it. We were holding hands, and we were going to do things together. His body language (OK, I'll admit I knew nothing about body language) could have suggested it, the way he set his pace just enough so that I wouldn't be tired of dragged behind him.

"Thank sounds great, all of it," I answered when Seth took a breath.

"Really? Do you, do you want to eat first, then?"

"Sure," I said, though I knew I'd be eating dinner when I got home anyway.

We walked a ways down the sidewalk until we found an inexpensive looking diner. We walked in, and I smelled grease immediately. I'd been on a diet plan so long, and the greasy food smelled _so_ good...but then it occurred to me.

"Seth?"

Yum...his _name_ tasted good. I could just say his name and satisfy my belly.

"Yes?" He looked like the sound of me saying his name pleased him. It sure made me happy.

"I — I don't have any —," I started, but was cut off when I heard a jangling in his pocket.

"I'm paying, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? You could get something and I could wait..." He shook his head though, before I could even finish. Then he started looking me in the face more, studying me, and a hurt look flickered, then sustained his gaze.

"Do you have a headache? It looks like something has been hurting you. Do you not want to be here...?" His face was crushed. It looked like I'd driven a jackhammer through his heart.

"Yeah, I have a headache. Of course I want to be here! Why do you think I told my dad to pick me up late? I want to be here," I said smiling, because I meant every word.

"Do you want Tylenol or something? I could ask if anyone has something..."

"No, I'll be fine."

"It looks like it hurts bad..."

"It —," I stopped. I was about to say, _It does,_ but that would only hurt him more. Instead, I settled on, "It's not that bad..."

"OK," he said, still looking a little broken.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

She had a headache.

The idea crushed my insides, and it made me ache. She was in pain. It twisted me up in uncomfortable pretzel knots. I hated it. I hated having her in pain. So this was why Quil was always so worried about Claire, why Sam had been so worried when Emily burned herself — because it was so much to endure when _she_ was in pain. When she was hurting. It made me want to take it away from her, to take the pain from her, to take it myself. That would be much easier.

"OK," I agreed when she lied about it. I wanted to believe that it didn't hurt that bad, but I knew it had to be serious pain. She had to be aching.

I lead her carefully to a booth, where we both sat down. A waitress wouldn't be here for at least five minutes, considering the amount of people sitting at the bar. So I started up my questionnaire.

"What's your favorite color?" I queried.

She looked bewildered, but replied, "Green."

"Why?"

"Umm...I think, it's because it's the color of plants and stuff. Living things, y' know?"

"Yeah..." I trailed off. Green. It was my new favorite color besides her coloring. Any color on her or that she liked would be my favorite, and I couldn't explain why.

"What's your dad like?"

"Overprotective, logical, organized."

"Your mom?"

"Eccentric, artsy, everywhere..."

"By everywhere you mean..."

"_Every_where. Her stuff, her mind, every_thing_ is everywhere, too."

"Oh. Where do you live?"

"Depends, which parent?"

"Huh?"

"Which parent's house do you want to know about?"

"Oh, they're..."

"Divorced, yeah..." She seemed touchy about the subject.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

The waitress comes over, so I'm saved from explaining more about the divorce. It started, well, ended, with a wall — a brown wall, turned purple, to be exact. It was painted purple, as an accent wall, and my mother put flowers and sunshine on the wall. I thought it looked nice. My dad? Not so much. He and my mom had a shouting match, and the next thing I knew, I was standing in a court of law, being asked to choose which of my "capable" parents I would live with. I had to choose my dad, because I knew my mom would understand. My dad, however, would never forgive me. The story of my life...

"And you?" I looked up at the pretty blonde waitress that was serving us, and felt a twang of jealousy. She was so tall and full (very full, where I was lacking) and perfect and obviously _wasn't dying of a headache. _

"Just a sprite," I said self conciously, looking down at the table.

"Are you sure? You look sort of hungry. Why not get a little basket of fries?" asked Seth, looking meaningfully at the waitress, who began scribbling something down.

I just kept staring at the table.

"Are you alright?" Seth asked as I leaned back against the seat.

"No, I'm sick to my stomach," I replied truthfully.

"Why?"

"Did you _see_ that waitress?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Did you _look_, at her _chest_?"

"What? No...why would I?"

"Blammo," was all I had to say and he understood.

"Don't get put down, I didn't even notice her compared to you." His voice was filled with warmth and...and...love?

My chest swelled with pride. He thought I was better than that waitress. "Thanks. Y'know what? You must be a lady killer."

"What?! I don't kill ladies!"

I laughed out loud. "No, no, no! I mean, like, the girls must flock to you! You...you know just what to say..."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

"Thanks. Y'know what? You must be a lady killer."

"What?! I don't kill ladies!" She thought I was a murderer! NO! Shoot, this wasn't good, this was _not_ good!

She laughed, "No, no, no! I mean, like, the girls must flock to you! You...you know just what to say..."

"Oh," I sighed in relief. She didn't think I went out and killed ladies. Good.

She laughed again. It was such a musical sound, it made me want to tell jokes, just so I could hear it. _Orange you glad I didn't say banana?_ I could be the best comedian in the world if I only had her laugh to encourage me. Her beautiful, musical, happy laugh. When she heard me listening, she stopped, blushed, then looked down at the table.

"Why did you stop?"

"What?" she asked, crunching her eyebrows in confusion.

"Laughing," I asked.

"My laugh is freakish! It's pretty embarrassing." She downcast her eyes.

"Don't be embarrassed. I think it's beautiful." _Like you,_ I added silently in my head.

"Oh. Um. Thank you," she said, turning bright red.

My face warmed too. To save me from further humiliation from my sappy love comments, the waitress returned with a basket of fries, a sprite, my coke, my burger, and a platter of chicken fingers. I'd still have to eat when I got home, but at least I could eat a fair amount without her thinking I was some world-renowned eater. Taking a sip of soda, I watched as Anna did the same with her sprite. Her mouth formed a perfect _o_ around the straw, while I bit down hard on mine. She swallowed with dainty little sips, while I all but chugged my coke. If I hadn't at least been _trying_ to look civilized, I would have thrown the straw across the room and downed the glass in a few gulps.

"So, I answered your questions, now you should answer mine," Anna spoke after taking the straw out of her mouth.

"Sure. What are your questions?"

"Um...tell me about _your_ family." Oh, great. I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable by telling her that my parents loved each other very much, but my dad died. Shifting awkwardly in my seat, I tried to go about answering this.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"Um...tell me about _your_ family." Yeah, that was a good one. It could take my mind off of everything that had to do with pain or divorce. He must have had a very good family life to have turned out so perfect.

"Well...My mom, Sue, works in an office building after my Dad, Harry...died." Pain washed over his features as he said this. It was a horrible sight, and I bit my lip, trying not to cry from the hurt placed on his face by my question. Oh, God, why did I ask him to talk about his family! Shoot. Rising out of my chair, I sat on his side of the booth, and, without my mind's permission, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. Normally, I would have withdrawn immediately, because of the intense head radiating off of his body, but it was oddly comforting now.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, teeth digging into my bottom lip. It was hurting now, but I really didn't want to cry in front of Seth. He was too good to see me tear up.

"No, no! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you _cry_!" he said, looking down at me with sad eyes — wide eyes, full of fear, too. What, did he think that I was going to break into hysterics.

"It's not your f-fault, I just didn't want to see you hurt, and it made me...s-sad..." I muttered, turning my face into his arm. Why was this all so natural? Usually, at the prospect of contact with another human being, let alone _the opposite gender_ was terrifying to me. But this felt so...self justifying. It felt right.

"Maybe, maybe I should take you back? I didn't realize we'd be here so long, and your dad will be picking you up..."

"DAD!" I shouted, rising from my seat. "Shoot, shoot, he's _always_ early! SHOOT!"

"Then, we should..."

"YES!"

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

This wasn't the way I imagined the ending of me and Anna's...um...was it a date?

Her hand in mine, that was a nice touch. I tried to think of that as we ran down the sidewalk, crashing into people. She kept muttering things like, "Oh jeez, oh _jeez_." and "Holy crow, Holy crap!" She was holding my hand with such force that it would have hurt if I weren't a werewolf. I imagined that it was hurting her, though.

"Know what, Anna?"

Her reply was a whoosh of breath that sounded remotely like, "What?"

"It'd be easier if we did _this_," I said, gently pulling her onto my back.

"HOLY —"

"Sh! People are staring," I smiled.

"They're staring because we're running — no, _you're running _— down the sidewalk with me on your _back_!"

"Oh, don't tell me you don't like piggy back rides..."

We were there much faster, even though Anna wouldn't say so. Standing outside the door in an awkward silence, we stood, backs to each other, me rocking back and forth on my heels, Anna looking at the ground hugging herself. As if on cue, we both turned, and like in the movies, started making out like mad.

OK, so we really just hugged.

Give a guy a break.

"I, er, have to go," I said to her back.

"My dad will be here in five minutes, I think."

"We should do this again."

"Mmm."

"Tomorrow?"

"You bet."

I gave her a final squeeze, trying not to crush her, and the started to run back home. From behind me, just as I was about to turn the corner, I heard, "Hi, Dad!" It made my heart feel OK.

-- -- -- --

_So, your prize for reviewing is...SETH HUGS! Yes, they're fantastic. Warm, too. Like a walking furnace! Yes. So, review, and feel the heat! And the superb hotness..._

_Love,_

_Allie_


	6. BOOK ONE: SIX

_I'm writing another chapter! Hurray! I WILL finish this story! OK, what to say, what to say... _

_Oh, yeah! _

_Love,_

_Allie_

_PS: I literally meant to say "Love, Allie". Part of the paragraph didn't get erased or anything._

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

I could not sleep at all that night. I kept rolling over and over, relieving the day's events — starting with meeting Seth. How perfect, how godlike that boy was! And he was showing interest in me, Annabelle Lisa Winston? Freakish, I know! Just like my laugh! I was giddy, and not myself at all as I rolled over, clutching Louis, my teddy-bear from birth, to my chest, smiling like an idiot. But the thing that un-eased me? _Nothing_! That was the beauty of it! Flipping back over onto my back, my bed gave a squeak. I stared up at the ceiling, still grinning stupidly. Everything just seemed so _perfect._ Dad hadn't suspected a thing, either.

There was the twinge of guilt I had been waiting for.

I had lied.

To my dad.

That I could recall, I had only ever lied to my father once, and it was when I told him I didn't want to go to my Mom's for Christmas when I did. Really, really badly. Now I'd grown to like my father better, because he was more responsible, though I knew I couldn't live without either of my parents, and I _loved_ them both equally. It had been a horrible lie, and he believed it, though. Maybe it was because I was always so honest with him...? _I concur,_ agreed my conscience. _Shut it,_ I battled with myself. _Why should I? I'm your voice of reason. _I scoffed. _Where in the hell were you when I lied to Dad in the first place? Huh? That's what I thought. _My inner voice shut up. It was weird, talking to yourself in your head. No, I wasn't Schizophrenic. I just talked to my conscience — my logical side, the angel that was tucked away for when I made bad decisions so that I could reprimand myself. When I was five, my mom assured me it was perfectly normal. I'm guessing it still is.

"Why do I feel so bad after I had such a good date?"

"Date? I didn't know it was a date."

"_Seth_!"

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

I had to see her. I had to tell her what I was.

It was gnawing away at me, tearing at my insides.

She had to know.

_Had to._

Racing through the forest was calming to me, as I wasn't Seth anymore. It always felt like an out-of-body experience when I changed, and though I was in _a _body afterwards, it didn't belong to me. It belonged to a gangly, sand-colored werewolf. Which, I had to admit, is the coolest thing that I know of. Paws hit the ground in a rhythmic thumping pattern as I gushed through the forest, fast and sure. I could never be sure of myself as a human — not this kind of sure, knowing what's around you, where it's located, and...well...knowing that you can go pee on a tree if you need the bathroom. _That's _freedom, and _that's_ sureness.

The road was a challenge to navigate, so I turn back into Seth, then change into my cut-offs, bare-chested and bare-footed. This — this could also be sureness and freedom. Feeling the ground and feeling it pushed back up against you when you walk. But it was nothing compared to phasing — those few seconds where you didn't exist, and then that whole period of time that you weren't _you_, you were a werewolf. A _protector._

I got there faster than I expected, and I was relieved that I could pick out her father's minivan from their short driveway. Now, her room...I hoped that it wasn't a second story window.

But, of course...

...it was.

I could see a purple wall, with posters of ballerina's on the walls. Different types of shoes — ballet shoes, what he guessed were tap-dancing (_tap dancing?_) shoes — hung on wall pegs. I couldn't locate a bed, though. What the heck? Didn't everyone have a bedframe? Even I did, and my room barely has room for it. There were, what, eight inches to walk around? But whatever. Point was, I couldn't see a bed. _Too bad!_ screamed my conscience. _You saw the dancing stuff in there. Unless she has a sister, which I'm sure she would have mentioned, this his her room. TOO BAD IF THERE'S NO BED!_

"OK, OK," I consoled my conscience out loud in a small whisper. Blinking, I turned to my right side, because something shiny — yes, shiny — caught my eye. _Jackpot!_ shouted my conscience. "Yeah, majorly ," I agreed aloud. Who would hear me talking to myself? No one, that's who. And that was the beauty of it.

Pulling up the ladder — that, thank GOD, would definitely reach her window — with ease, I made my way over to the side of the house. Leaning it against the wall gently, I wondered how sturdy this thing was with a jolt. When my weight touched it, the ladder wavered a little. Oh, _joy._ She'd have to take me to the ER, or she'd want to, but I'd have to tell her otherwise (Ahem, 109°F.) Taking it step by step, I was past the first floor in a matter of thirty seconds. Not bad, eh? That was when the ladder rocked. Trying to stand perfectly still, bare chest and bare feet leaning and gripping to try and make it stop, I quit breathing for a second. Then it stopped, so I continued.

I was at the second story within a few more seconds. Popping out her screen was quite simple, and she hadn't had her window locked. That worried me — what if someone broke in and hurt her? Distracted, I took a second and sat on her sill, watching her toss and turn. Why wasn't she asleep? I was prepared to wake her up when I came here, and she was already awake?

"Why do I feel so bad after such a good date?" It pained me that she was feeling bad, but that didn't stop me from missing my turn.

"Date? I didn't know it was a date."

Anna sat up in bed, looking around, startled by my voice. Then she spotted me at the window. "_Seth_!" she whispered, and I was filled with relief and happiness at the tone of her voice. She was pleased to see me.

"In the flesh," I confirmed.

She looked over me for a moment, eyes lingering on my bare chest, then longer on my face. Suddenly, shock, and a little bit of anger filled her voice. "What are you _doing _here?"

What, had I been expecting awe? My chest still deflated. "You don't want me here?"

She ignored my question. "You could have woken up my dad? What do you think he'd say if he found a boy in my — wait, how in the heck did you get up here?" There was confusion in that last part. Better than anger, I supposed.

"Ladder," I replied simply.

"What about my —"

"Popped it out," I replied, guessing her question.

"And my —"

"You left it unlocked."

_Here_ was the awe. "All to get into my room?"

"I had to see you," I said simply. "I had to tell you something."

"What's that?" she asked.

I hopped off the window sill, landing with ease on her bed. Anna curled her legs up into her stomach. She looked at me with her head tilted, as if to say, _Well? Go on, then._ I tried to think of a good way to start this. Maybe tell her about the spirit warriors? _Best off asking her if she's ever heard them_, I thought. _Maybe her dad dates a Quileute...?_

"Have you ever heard of the Quileute legends?"

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"Have you ever heard of the Quileute legends?"

It actually sounded a bit familiar. I remember, in kindergarten at the elementary school, a Story teller had came in to tell us about the Quileute Reservation history. My teacher hadn't called it "history", though, and treated it more as story-time. Surprisingly, I could still recall vital parts of most of the stories.

"Erm, I think...? It's about the cold-ones and the wolves, right?"

He looked bewildered that I had any idea what he was talking about. "Kindergarten story-time," I explained quickly. He still didn't stop looking confused, but went on.

"Well...it's not a story, actually," Seth recited slowly, like he'd been thinking about this all day. "It...they're true."

"What?" I asked, yawning. Maybe I was dreaming. Because, he honestly, did not...just...say... "They're...true?"

"Yes. Do you remember the legend that explained the men transforming into wolves? _About them being werewolves?_"

"Yah, why?" I flopped back down. Was he just going to retell the legends?

Seth gestured to himself. "They're true. I'm a werewolf."

-- -- -- --

_Oooh, I left you guys hanging! I think this will be a double update, because I have this little part mapped out remotely how I want it to go. But you never know, you might have to wait till _tomorrow _to see how Anna reacts! Oooh, I'm mean! But _SethHugs™ ©Allie Capphar 2008 _(XD Thank's for the idea, Lorri!)_ _are still up for grabs! GET THEM BY REVIEWING!_

_Love,_

_Allie_


	7. BOOK ONE: SEVEN

_Hurray, everyone! Chapter SEVEN! I know I said that I'd try to have it up tomorrow, but that didn't happen, and I apologize for that. You can wack me when you review — I'll take it. -covers head- Just remember that if I'm too badly beaten, I won't be able to do a DOUBLE UPDATE! Yeah, you heard me. That's what I'm shooting for today! But, for now, Annabelle's reaction to the news! I hope you all like it!_

_Love, Allie_

_PS: Do you guys like this little Author-note — how it's centered? Feedback! _

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"They're true. I'm a werewolf."

I froze, mid blink. Yes, I was blinking, trying to stay awake. I sat there, my eyes half closed, and stared at him. Slowly, my eyes opened wider and wider until my eyelids were crinkled up midway to my eyebrows. Then I blinked again, and a scared look was breaking out across his face. I sat up. He was too perfect to lie. So was I going senile? That was my theory. I was going insane. Or...or I was dreaming. I looked at my arm, and my conscience screamed, _Don't you _dare_ pinch yourself!_ I decided, since I'm going senile, that my inner voice must be too. So I completely ignored it. I closed my eyes, and I pinched myself. H-A-R-D.

"Ow," I murmured, my eyes still closed. I waited a few minutes, to see if I was in a sleeping position, like on my back, side, or stomach. But no, I was still sitting up.

"Why did you — Anna, you're not dreaming. Do you need me to prove it?"

I nodded. "Yes. Please."

He sighed, raising to his feet. And then, he jumped out my window.

"HOLY MOTHER —," I clapped my hand over my mouth to stem the stream of profanities that would have, no doubt, followed my opening. He had jumped out of the _window?_ Was he _psychotic_? I all but flew — yes, flew, like with wings? — out of my bed and over to the window. There he stood, next to the ladder (was that my dad's ladder?) that he used to get up to my window, perfectly unharmed. My stomach unknotted itself. He was OK. He wasn't hurt. His ankles weren't shattered. He hadn't fallen and broken his back. His neck remained in tact. Everything was OK.

"What were you _thinking_?" I hissed, though I doubted he'd hear me.

"Anna, I'm not going to break."

"Break? If any _normal_ person jumped from my second story window, they wouldn't _break_, they'd _shatter._"

"Well, _you_ would," he teased lightly.

"I'm serious! You could've been hurt!"

"Just...just watch," he sighed. "Oh. OH! Wait."

He ran into the forest. Wait — wait, was he unbuttoning his pants? While he was gone, I decided now would be a good time to climb down. He was going to prove to me that this wasn't a dream, and I was still in full-on dream mode. So, if _I_ jumped, I wouldn't...shatter. Right? But, even in my dreams, I was still afraid of jumping from heights. So, I chickened out and took the ladder. _Step one, step two, step one, step two. _It was all I could do not to fall. I just had to think about where I was putting my feet. And I couldn't look down. Nope, that was a death sentence right there.

Finally reaching the bottom, I turned.

And a scream rose up in my throat. My sealed lips, however, choked it back.

A massive, sand colored — what the heck was it? It was too big to be a bear — yeah, it was, like, the size of a _horse._ A _HORSE._ Thats what I was thinking, too. It looked like a wolf, though...OMG, I wasn't dreaming. Or I was, and this was proving that I was. Tentatively, I stepped forward. The creature was captivating. It's eyes were wary, and it flinched when I stepped forward, as though it feared I would hit it.

"S-Seth...?" I trailed off. It's head bobbed up and down. Seth. Was. This. Thing. _Werewolf,_ I mentally corrected. Seth was this werewolf.

"S-so, so, you're...they're real? Like in Hollywood and — wait," I paused, looking up at the sky. Crescent. Just what I thought. "I _am_ dreaming. It's a crescent moon, not a full moon. Don't —," but he was already rolling his eyes and shaking his enormous head back and forth.

"Can you...can you go back to...human Seth? I need a question answered that requires some "girl-to-boy" talking." He looked a bit alarmed by this, but ran back into the forest anyway. Why did he keep doing that? Was there blood and guts when he changed that he didn't want me to see? He ran back within the minute, and he was — he was buttoning up his shorts. Had he gone and took a whiz? Did being a werewolf make you pee more?

"Why do you go back into the forest to...to change?"

"Because my clothes don't pop in and out of existence. I had to pull a nudist act right then and there."

"You mean..." Seth — naked — in my backyard woods. I could die.

"Yup." He smirked, but then turned wary again. "Is this all too much to handle? Because, well, there's more."

"M-more...?" My question sounded feeble and weak. He grabbed my hands.

"Do you remember why Taha Aki stopped phasing? The tribe leader in the story..."

"Something about a fourth wife?"

"Third," he corrected. "But...there's a magic in that. It's called imprinting. She was his soul-mate."

"That's pretty neat," I said. He looked a little relieved.

"You're my imprint."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

She looked as though she were going to faint. I switched from holding both of her little hands to a firmer grip around her waist. She just kept staring at me. Oh, God, had I blown it? Lots of thoughts, most circling around rejection, swirled around in the soup-bowl I called "brain". She looked pale — paler than she normally was, at least. And shocked. That was a major factor. She was utterly and completely shocked. I couldn't find the words to help her. She needed to accept this on her own — at least, that's what Sam said he did with Emily, and she came around...eventually. Oh, God, I was getting rejected!

"I'm...you're...soul-mate?" Her voice sounded a little hoarse.

"Yeah..." What else could I say? _Yes, honey, I love you and you're supposed to love me back! We're going to get married someday! And you really don't have much say in it because, well, I'm basically made for you!_ Mmm...fat chance.

"That...does that mean...we're...um...like...an item?"

I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing. "What — in — the — heck — is — an — _item_?" I asked in between fits. She scowled, so I shut my face.

"This is so _not_ funny. But, an item is, like, a couple."

"Oh...you mean, dating?"

"Yep."

"Well..._I'd_ like to think that we were."

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"Well..._I'd_ like to think that we were," he said, and my heart swelled. He wanted to date me. This was fantastic! Did he love me? I really hoped so. But, then, he had to, didn't he? I was his, what was it? His imprint? The word sounded funny in my mind. _Imprint. Soul-mates. _Soul-mate had always sounded phony in my mind — along with "love at first sight" and such. But now...now it seemed...awful romantic.

"Then we are," I declared. I'd never felt more confident in my life.

-- -- -- --

_So... it was short. Buuuuuuuuut, I'm trying to make this a DOUBLE UPDATE DAY! Yes. OK, REVIEW!_

_Love, Allie_


	8. BOOK ONE: EIGHT

_Hurray for DOUBLE UPDATES! Now, In some of my reviews, I said that THIS was the crucial turning point in the story. I lied. The NEXT chapter is. OK? OK._

_That is all._

_Love, Allie_

_PS: OH! I was going to try to do a TRIPLE UPDATE! But that didn't happen. Sorry._

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

I don't remember how I fell asleep that night.

But I did.

It seemed impossible, with all of that new knowledge hovering around in my head.

I did it, though.

So, it would seem that waking up would be much easier, right?

Wrong.

Because, if your Dad comes in, and wakes you up from what _must _have been the best dream in the history of dreams, would _you _want to wake up?

That's what I thought.

"Rise and shiiiiine," my Dad sang, shaking me by the shoulder.

"Omygosh, Dad, have you ever heard of sleeping in?" I asked groggily.

"Yeah, but I don't consider noon sleeping in."

That got me up.

"Noon!" I sang. That meant _one hour_ until my _date. _Even my thoughts scrambled at the word. _My date with my _boyfriend. _Boyfriend. Imprint. Soul-mate. _My heart did little loop-de-loops at the sound of the words. _Seth. _My spine went hot and cold and numb at the name. _Seth. Ssssssseth. Seseseseth._ It was fun playing around with the name of my _boyfriend_ in my head, mulling it all over. The conversation last night, after we'd declared ourselves a couple, had taken a turn onto _dating._ He was going to take me to the pier so we could talk more about the werewolf thing. Apparently, last night, he didn't want to _overload _me. I could've taken it.

"Something important happening at _noon!_" Dad sang out the last word, mimicking me.

Shoot. I forgot to tell him.

"Well...I...um..." _Truth! Tell the truth! _suggested my conscience. "I have a date."

My dad sat there, frozen.

Um.

"A date?" he asked curiously, his face thawing out. Was this good? The questions?

"Um. Yeah, about that..."

"Who's the boy?" he asked in a different tone.

"H-his name is..._Seth._" I could have sang the word, like noon, but instead my voice just sounded very dreamy and light. "He's so h— he's so nice..." _Whew, nice save, _congratulated my conscience. _Thanks, I know. _If I'd said what I'd meant to say "He's so HOT" my dad wouldn't let me go on my date.

"You should bring him over sometime." OMG. Was he actually going to let this go?

"I will. I have to get ready. Thanks for waking me up!" _One o'clock, one o'clock, I have a date at one o'clock! _I was giddy. Love! Gah, I'd never imagined being love before!

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

"Seth is got a _giwlfwiend! _Seth is got a _giwlfwiend!_"

I'd never noticed how loud Claire could be until this point. She was over Emily's for the day, and I'd just gotten off patrol — the one I had to make up for because of my rendevous with _Anna_ last night. It'd cut into the last quarter of my time, so I'd had to do a whole other patrol! Where was the justice?

"Now, now, Claire," chided Emily, though she was clearly enjoying this a little bit.

"But he does!" complained Claire.

"I know," assured Emily. She smirked, leading Claire into the back room, murmuring to her softly about a nap. It took her three minutes to get her down, and then she was back to question me. "Who's the girl?"

"What, Claire didn't tell you?"

She laughed. "She would have, but she forgot her name."

"_Anna_."

"Just Anna?"

"Um...that's what she...told...me...?" What if Anna was short for something? Like Annabeth? Or Annamaria? Or Anna Bobanna Fee Fi Fo Fanna? _Oh, shoot, that's not a real name. Not unless you were three...and a half... Claire, bo Bear, Fee Fi Fo Fair... Think, Seth, think!_

"Whatever you say. _You're _the_ boyfriend._ _You _should know these things." _Shoot, I should! _I thought bitterly. Darn! Did Emily _want_ me to go insane? Sometimes I wondered if she valued my sanity. I doubted it sometimes.

"Yeah. Whatever I say," I said, standing up and pulling on a shirt. It had only recently occurred to me that being shirtless might freak her out a little. "I'm going to be late for my date. Hehe, that rhymes." Emily rolled her eyes, smiled, and ruffled my hair in a friendly way.

"Good luck with Anna," she called after me.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

This was bliss.

He'd come to pick me up. He'd _picked me up._ How romantic? Well, not really lifted me up, be picked me up in the sense of like, he came to get me. Yeah, I had to straighten that up. But, there he was, standing at the front door of my house, _my dwelling._ There, in his perfect godly glory — wearing a shirt? What the heck? I was ready for tan, sculpted abs. The shirt was plaid, and he only had the bottom three buttons done, leaving a lot of bare chest open, but still — what about his shoulders? His belly-button? SHOOT! I'd never noticed if he was an in-y or an out-y! I mentally kicked myself.

"Shirt," I said nonchalantly, looking at his partially covered chest. His cheeks flushed.

"Do you like it?" he asked self-consciously. He reached down and plucked the collar out, making himself look like Dracula. I laughed.

"It's fine...for the show. You can take it off after —"

"Hello, Sam," said my father light. I blushed red.

"Dad, this is_ Seth_," I correct not-so-delicately.

"Hi Mr —"

"Please, call me Jerry."

Wow. This was going better than I thought it would. I smiled gently, lulled into a security that my Dad was OK with me and Seth...dating. The word still sent chills down my spine.

"OK, Jerry," said Seth. I almost laughed at the sincerity in his voice. He was really revved up about getting my dad to like him.

"OK, Dad, we really have to be going..."

"Yeah, nice meeting you, Jerry!"

"You too, Sean!"

"SETH!" I shouted.

-- -- -- --

_BWAHAHA! You don't get to know what happens until TOMORROW! I'm so evilly evil. Yes._

_Stay tuned!_

_Love, Allie_


	9. BOOK ONE: NINE

_Hurray, hurray! Sorry for my two year old antics, but I'm so excited for this chapter! This is it, the turning point! Don't worry, I promise: no nasty junk in this chapter. That's not what my turning point is! GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER! XD OK, but I really hope you enjoy this chapter. I worked really long and hard on it, trying to get it done on time for my goal. Just out of curiousity, I want to see how many people have read this. If you've read this, put out-y on your review somewhere. If you do, you shall receive...A SethHug™! Yep! So, enjoy!_

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

Wow. Anna's Dad was, er, interesting.

But that was in the past. Now we were _holding hands_ walking down the sidewalk. Her's was small and smooth in my hand, and I imagined her thinking about how massive my hands were. I mean, really — her's were like little baby hands. Only, they weren't sticky. Or pudgy. Or up her nose... Nope, only the size was the same. That was all I could relate. She came up to just below my shoulder, and that was where her head was leaning. Our feet kept running into each other, though, so I had to put a little space between us. She looked a little downcast.

"Just until we get there. The last thing I need is you tripping all over the place," I assured her, cracking a smirk. Things seemed so easy with Anna. Anna...what had I wanted to ask...OH!

"Hey, Anna?"

"Mmm?" she asked looking up to me. _Jeez, I hope that doesn't hurt her neck_, I thought as I watched her crane to look at me.

"Is Anna your _full_ name?"

"Annabelle is," she replied simply, furrowing her brow. "Why?"

"Just — just wondering." _HA! Take THAT, Emily! _Now there wasn't anything that Emily could tease me OH WAIT —

"When's your birthday?"

"Um...August sixteenth." _HA! Take THAT, Emily! Now_ there wasn't anything she could tease me with. Sighing contentedly, we walked in silence for a few more minutes. The sun was beating down on us, and Anna was starting to sweat a little. I felt bad — she looked so little and tired. I thought about asking if she needed to stop, but I doubted she'd appreciate me for that. If Embry Call had taught me nothing — which, indeed, was the truth — than I was not to ask a girl if she wanted to stop. That little phrase started off a war in my thought process.

_You should ask her if she wants to stop! _

_No! She'll get offended!_

_She'll get offended if you DON'T ask her, you idiot!_

_NO, SHE WON'T!_

_YES, SHE WILL YOU LOSER HEAD!_

_NO SHE WON'T, BUTT WIPE!_

_YES —_

"Shut it!" Anna looked up, startled. I flushed a little. "Anna, do you want to take a break and decide what we're going to do? We should have gotten a ride if we wanted to go to the Pier..."

"Yeah." She looked relieved. One of consciences in my head took this as victory. We sat down on the curb, which was surprisingly warm on my butt, even though I was usually hotter than most things and wasn't really affected by them. Blinking a few times, I turned to Anna.

"So, what do you want to do?"

She looked confused. "I thought you...ooooh. How about we go to La Push? We could walk around, and you could answer questions for me. I want to meet the...the pack?" I nodded encouragement. "Maybe I can meet your sister, Leah? And your mom? You already saw my...well, you saw _Jerry._" She rolled her eyes. "And I want to meet everyone. Don't leave anyone out!"

"Everyone? And don't leave anyone out? I don't know everyone in La Push, Anna," I teased. She pushed at my shoulder, only to scoot closer and lean on me when I settled back. It wasn't as though she had moved me — I was a werewolf, and she was a human. I was hard, she was soft. Polar opposites in the physical sense. But, in the end, we were a perfect match. Sometimes, things like that confused me. Like how Jared was so loud, and then shy Kim was his imprint. Quil and Claire seemed like the only imprints that were similar — they were both loud and obnoxious.

"Ready?"

"We have to cross a street and hike through the woods. OK?"

"Sure."

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

The walk to La Push wasn't half bad. I got all sweaty, my legs ached, and my head was still pounding with the force of an elephant treading on my brain, but it was hard _not_ to be happy. If I wanted to, I would literally have to force myself to be upset. Seth had his own aurora of happiness around him, and, like a big ball of light. It amused me to no end how I could be so pleased in his presence. I smiled, and it was genuine and real.

My hand was still in his, though I was scorching hot. I released it for a moment, but he held on tight, so I wriggled my fingers out. "Do you want my hand to sweat to death?" I asked lightly.

"Oh." He let go, only to snatch my hand back up again.

"Ugh — suffocating!" I squeaked in a voice that was supposed to sound like my hand. He laughed, giving my hand a squeeze before releasing me. "Air! _Air_!"

I watched as he wandered off a little towards the side of the road. We were on the road leading down to Sam and Emily's house — yes, I was learning names! — and it was wider than I had imagined it. Too wide. Too much space... I almost ran across the road in a desperate attempt to latch myself onto Seth. He laughed, and so did I.

"I'm like a leech," I laughed. But that froze him. He stopped.

"You're not a blood-sucker, Anna." The seriousness in his voice sent chills down my spine.

"I-I didn't mean that...I meant, like —"

"I know...I never told you about — shoot. Sit," he commanded, taking a seat on the sparse-y pine needles, most of them still green. Evergreens shot up behind us, reaching high for the sky. Summer was great, I noted with gratitude. Summer was just awesome.

"Now, what about leeches?"

"No, not leeches. Vampires."

It was far easier to believe he was grave about this considering I had just convinced myself that werewolves were real and that Seth was one of them.

"Yeah — what about them?" I tried to act casual, like I'd know about them my entire life and he was rambling on and on about something that was old news for me. In truth, I was scared out of my skin.

"What about them? Anna, be serious — there is a coven of seven vampires living in Forks. And quite soon — in August, actually, I think the thirteenth — they're going to break a treaty that we have, and then it's going to be war."

I stopped breathing.

He didn't stop though. "Not to mention all of the pairs of vampires that roam around in the woods. Everywhere you go —"

I was shivering. "OK, you — you can stop now..."

He looked down at me and put a warm arm around me. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you. Ever." He almost spit the last word, but held his tongue.

I nodded. "I — I think I always knew that..."

He sighed. "Good."

Standing, he grabbed my hand again. The warm was comforting at the point — familiar and welcome. I held of with force that made my hand sore. _Maybe I'm using him to stay standing_, I thought with a jolt. My head wasn't _hurting_ anymore. Now it was just a light fluffy thing in the hollow of my head that took up space. The little piece of cotton that was my brain was now rattling around a bit, and each time it shook, I had a dull feeling inside. But I had to stay happy. No matter how dizzy I was getting.

Suddenly, I found myself in front of a house. Why in the heck was I standing in front of a house? _Oh, Sam and Emily_, I thought dully. That was why we were here. It didn't excite me as it had earlier. Still clutching Seth's hand, I observed as he pulled open the door, walking right in.

"Because _knocking_ is _totally _for squares," I giggled. I would have laughed, but that would make my head throb, and threaten my balancing skills.

"Would you knock when you came into your own house?"

"But this is Sam and Emily's place, right?"

"Mmmhmm..." he trailed of absently, tugging me inside. I almost tripped over the threshold. The house smelled like muffins and — OHMYGOD — boys. I never noticed that a boy had a distinct smell, not until now, at least. It was...well, it smelled like BO, to be honest. But it was also sort of warm and inviting. Seth didn't reek of this, thank god. I was pleased to know that, even through the dull ache in my face and head. Five boys sat around the kitchen table, which was in line with the door. We walked through the little living room, and Seth took a seat and immediately shed his shirt, sighing in relief, muttering about how hot it was. I leaned up on the wall, feeling self conscious and out of place.

When Emily turned around, I was prepared. Seth had told me about Emily's face — and the _real_ story behind it. I would have easily eaten any story that Seth fed me, but looking at her face, I could easily believe that Emily's scars were from a werewolf. I could also, on the other hand, believe a bear was behind the gashes. Both stories were incredibly plausible to me, a human, an _imprint_.

"Hello, you must be Anna. I'm Emily," she said warmly, with a kind of motherly love.

"Hi Emily," I said shyly. She smiled.

"Boys," she prompted, but everyone was so engulfed in the food — what smelled like sandwiches and Beef Macaroni Casserole. I spotted a basket overflowing with rolls. Tentatively, expecting to be smacked away by one of the enormous boys, I reached for a roll. One with a long face gave me a dirty look, so I snatched it up and sank back to my spot on the wall immediately. Seth laughed. "Don't mind Paul — he's beastly."

I didn't see the roll flying until it hit Seth. In the eye.

I jumped.

Seth laughed.

"You need better aim. That was way off from my mouth."

The other boys laughed at this. _So easily amused, _I thought lightly.Taking tiny bites of the corners of the roll, I found it was soft and thick flaky all at the same time, with buttery folds, like a croissant. Seth watched me intently, studying me. I stopped eating.

"What?" I accused.

"Nothing, nothing," he brushed it away.

"Will you tell me later, maybe?" I asked, trying desperately to figure out what was wrong with me. "Not in front of other people...?" I hinted.

"Sure. Why not?"

I took back to eating, but only half heartedly. My head was pounding. The cotton wad was on fire. I was glad I was leaning on a wall, because it gave me an excuse to fidget. Sitting on those chairs was comfy — no reason to try to get more comfortable. But the wall was sturdy and hard. That was my alibi.

Seth was still watching me, and the space between his eyebrows was diminishing at an alarming pace. Finally, they conjoined, and fell down to the area just above his actual eyes. I'd never seen him look really, truly worried like this. Or scared. Whichever it was, it made my stomach hurt. He was looking me over, and his eyes were frightened.

"Anna, are you OK?"

"I — um — I'm not sure..." I said carefully. If he took me home, I'd never forgive myself. Ever.

"You look kind of pale..."

"And sweaty," added another boy.

"Shut up, Embry!" Seth shouted. I'd never heard him shout, either.

Emily whacked the boy named Embry on the head with a wooden spoon. He rubbed the spot jokingly. I knew it didn't hurt. C'mon, he was a werewolf.

Seth was at my side. "Anna, where does it hurt? You have to tell me."

But I was already floating. I didn't notice myself sinking to the floor. There wasn't any noise. Just startling actions. Seth, trying to catch me. Emily crossing the kitchen, shouting for someone. I couldn't hear who, but her mouth was working frantically. Everyone, rising. The boy with the long face — what was his name? — looking bewildered. I wanted to say, "Hey, what's the fuss about? I'm fine" but I couldn't find my mouth. But there was one thing I noted before I slid into that dark space beyond my fluffy mind:

Out-y.

-- -- -- --

_So...I MIGHT make it a double update day, but I kind of want all the information to sink in. Something is wrong — I assured myself that you all knew that by now — with Anna. Remember what you need to put in your review! And it MIGHT be a double update. NO PROMISES!_

_Love, Allie_


	10. BOOK ONE: TEN

_Yay! Apparently, that was NOT the turning point in the story. This is...? I'm not sure. But whatever. These next FEW chapters are crucial. CRUCIAL, I TELL YOU! And I lied. All shall not be revealed in this chapter. It shall be revealed in the next couple chapters, sporadically. Or, at least, that's my plan. And, I just wanted to say...WE'RE AT EIGHTY TWO AS I WRITE THIS! HURRAY!! I'm all happy. It'd make me even more happy if you reviewed this chapter TRILLIONS! But that's not going to happen. I could settle for one review, but don't let that stop you!! I lub you guyses..._

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

How long had it been? Emily had watched helplessly as I carried Anna into the living room and draped her over the couch. Paul went back to eating, though everyone else looked pretty shaken up. Her left arm was shaking a little. What the heck? Was she having a stroke or something? Oh, god, I thought that only happened to old people? Was Anna old? NO! Then why in the heck was she having a stroke? More importantly, why wasn't anyone — including me — doing anything about it?

Did she need to go to the hospital?

Yes. That was given.

"Keys," I murmured suddenly. I had my permit. If Emily just drove with me...

"I'm driving," she said, as if she'd read my mind. "You'll get us in an accident, which we _don't_ need now."

And then she was up and over my shoulder again, and Emily and I were going out to the car. Jacob and Embry looked a little confused, but Quil knew what I was going through. He had imprinted, and once, Claire had an asthma attack — her first one ever — and went purple in the back seat of the car. Quil had been a wreck. I appreciated his support, but it wasn't helping Anna. Anna...that was the main priority, to make Anna safe. And happy. Was that my life's purpose? I was going to full-fill it, then.

The car was a beaten up pick-up. The brand name had fallen off long ago, so I couldn't tell you if it was a Chevvy or a Toyota or what — besides, cars weren't my thing. The car — Emily called it "the Bullet" though it drove nowhere near bullet pace — looked like it could have been an attractive blue color at one time, but now it was an ugly white. Blue pieces showed, but they were faded and quite ugly. Emily may have called it "the Bullet", but Sam called it "AB car", meaning, it's used to get from point A to point B. When I was fourteen, I thought that was clever. Now, at sixteen, all I could think was, _Man, I hope it gets _that_ far._

I slid into the car, Anna laying across me, and tried to find a position that she could still lay down in and not die if we got in a crash. Emily wasn't waiting, thought. I had to click my seatbelt fast so that I didn't get jerked out of the seat when she pulled out. Man, I hadn't known the Bullet had it in her. As we pulled onto the road that would lead us to Forks, then to the hospital, I noticed Emily's foot was pushing the pedal towards the floor. And she had thought _I_ was going to crash us.

Cars honked loudly at us as we passed them, illegally, mind you, and Emily...well...Emily made some "adult" hand gestures. There was also some adult language in there, too. I didn't even know some of those words. What had gotten into Emily?

"Emily...what's up?"

She turned around in her seat for a moment, and I thought we were going to crash, but we didn't. "I'm just...I just don't want to see anything happen to Anna. It would kill you, Seth. Literally."

I shuddered. I never understood how Sam and Emily managed to be happy after what Sam did to her. How did she forgive him? But, how would she not? She was his imprint. No one could ignore that kind of love, and it was hard not to requite it. I could understand that. But what if she didn't wake up?

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

I felt my eyes flutter. It wasn't me forcing them up, that was for sure. My headache had been gone in the oblivion that was unconsciousness, and I would have rather kept it that way. Blinking a few more times, I was fully aware. Wonderful. I would've shut my eyes again, but then I realized I was moving. But _I_ wasn't moving. The ground — no, cushion — beneath me was. With a zap, I realized I was in a car. Again, after realizing that, I would have closed my eyes. Then again, maybe not. Because the most handsome creature was hovering above me. I remembered something.

"Out-y," I whispered in awe.

"What?" asked Seth, his eyes looking worried.

"Your belly-button. It's an out-y..."

He gave a shaky laugh. "How do you feel?"

"Ugh."

That hurt him, so I quickly covered it up with a, "Not that bad."

He saw through it this time, though. I couldn't fool him twice with the same thing. "The truth, Anna?"

I sidestepped the question sloppily. "Wait, who's driving?"

"I am." I recognized the voice of Emily Young from the front seat.

"Hey, Em —"

"The question," interrupted Seth.

"The truth?" I asked sheepishly.

"The truth," he said, though it was softer and warmer this time.

"I feel...dizzy. And it feels like someone is setting off dynamite in the back of my head. And it's setting my brain on fire."

That was obviously a bad answer. "God, Anna..." he trailed off. "Why didn't you tell me?" He was a little angry, but more hurt.

"I — I didn't want you to take me home. I was...I was having so much fun, and I didn't want it to stop..."

"But —"

"We're almost there, guys." Emily flipped some guy the bird after she said this, shaking it around so he'd see it. Wow, Emily had road rage. Bad. Worse than my mom, I concluded as I watched her swear under her breath as she pulled out in front of someone. She was obviously doing her best to keep it down so Seth and I could talk, but that wasn't working so well.

"YOU — —," she yelled loudly.

The car ride was quiet until we got to the Hospital. I felt dizzy upon standing up, but Seth reassuringly held my arm. When I wavered, he put his arm around my shoulders, steadying me.

"Are you sure you can walk?"

"Um."

He took that as a no, draped my arm around his neck and all but lifted me off the ground, keeping me strictly in tow**. **I sighed. He wasn't going to take any chances today, I guessed. Breathing in and out, I rested my head heavily on his shoulder, and he looked down with a worried face. Whatever this was that I had, I was going to beat it. For Seth. Because no one should ever hurt him like that, especially me.

-- -- -- --

**Later**

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

Great. This was she second time she'd passed out. Or fallen asleep. At least her arm had

stopped twitching. Anna's dad was on the way, and her mom was already at the hospital in the food court getting something to eat. Anna's grandmother had stayed home. She seemed relieved at that before they put her out. Nope, she hadn't passed out on her own this time. They did it for her. Which is beyond me. Why would they _want_ their patients out cold? What help could that be? What if the patient was really, really big — like JUMBO big — and they had to see their back, and they put the out. What _then_, doctors? What are you going to do?

Anna stirred. My attention flicked from the window I had been looking out — clouds had rolled in, common Forks weather — to her bed. Her face looked hurt. Even in sleep, her eyes were squinted in pain. I scooted the wooden chair they'd provided in the room a little closer to her. Well, closer than I'd been. If I'd gotten closer than that, I'd be on the bed. Stroking her hand seemed to calm her a little, but I couldn't stand this. Where in the heck was the doctor?

The door opened, and in walked Mr. Winston.

"Hey, Mr — Hey, Jerry," I corrected myself quickly.

"Hi, Seth," he said, sounding worn and tired and worried. "How is she?"

"They knocked her out about an hour ago."

"How long have you —"

"Three hours. They only just got a hold of you. We tried the home phone, but no one answered, and they said your cell was turned of. So...yeah."

"Three hours..." he said in wonder. "Thank you."

"It was no problem."

"Well, you're welcome to go now."

"Er, if it's OK, I think I'll stay."

"Only if you want to, Seth."

"I do."

Anna rolled over, peeking open her eyes. A tiny smile cracked the corners of her lips, brushing pain-crumbs away. She attempted to sit up, but decided against it. "Hi," she said softly.

"Hi, Anna. How do you feel?"

"Same, same," she sighed. She was obviously still on painkillers that hadn't really worked much. They made her a little...well...crazy. But she was trying not to let on the swirling in her head, the kind that the doctor had told me was a side effect.

"Your dad got here. He's on the other side of the bed," I said, telling her where to look at the end so that she wouldn't strain or anything. She turned in bed, situating herself to look at her father. He looked like her was going to cry. I felt bad — he was holding back a sob. He really cared about her. _Well, no duh, he's her dad, idiot._ I hated when my conscience called me names, but it was true. I was an idiot.

"Hi Daddy," she breathed sleepily.

"Hey, Annie," he said warmly. "How do you feel?"

"Mmm..." she sighed. She made a sharp intake of breath, and for a second, looking at her back, I thought something was wrong. Then she laughed. "What's a bird doing in the room?" And then her breathing turned rhythmic and I knew she had dozed off. Normally, I would have laughed, but now my heart just sank. Being in this hospital reminded me of death — my Dad's death, my Grandad's death, and my Grandma's death. Death and sickness. I just hoped that she would be OK.

-- -- -- --

**Later**

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

I yawned sleepily again, and wondered when I'd woken up. The sky was dark — was it night? Or had it rained? Either could be plausible. With a dull throb, I fingered my head. Yawning again, I rolled over and came face to face with Seth. Smiling, I blinked. For a moment, we just sat there. His eyes were wide and full of hurt and fear, and I wanted that to stop. He was smiling, though, which was a start. Trying to sit up, I remembered my previous attempt when my dad had been here.

"Where's my dad?" I asked.

"He went to go talk to the doctors, then he's going to go lock up the house. He'll be back in about an hour."

"Oh," I said, fully sitting up. My brain sloshed around like soup in a pot. Boiling hot soup.

"Do you need more meds?" he asked suddenly. I didn't want to stop talking to him

"No, no," I lied slowly.

"You're going in for an MRI soon, just so you know."

"A what?" I blinked at the acronym. What did it stand for? MRI? Monkeys Running Incognito? I gave a little giggle, but it sloshed the soup, so I shut my mouth.

"You go into a machine and they take pictures of you."

"I hate pictures," I complained, throat thick with sleep.

"I know," he soothed, brushing hair away from my face. What had happened to my hair-tie? I was too scared to ask. Maybe someone stole it. I hoped not — it was the shiny one that I used for dancing. Dance...

"Shoot! I'm missing dance." The urgency in my voice failed to pull through. I sounded like I was groaning.

"It's OK. Don't worry about it. You should go back to sleep."

I didn't want to, but I listened. I _was_ tired... Before I could understand what was going on, I was drifting off, breathing easy, and dreaming of wolf-boys.

-- -- -- --

_I'd really like some feedback for this one! Oh, and has anyone here ever had an MRI? I know what they're like, but when I had mine, I was three... I don't remember much. If anyone has, it would help. I googled it and got a good description, but...first hand accounts are always better._

_Love, Allie_


	11. BOOK ONE: ELEVEN

_OK, so here's the MRI. This might be short, because I don't feel like writing out twenty minutes of MRI stuff. There'll be a bit before, some fluff with Seth and Anna, but that's all, then straight to business. OK? And, I really want to thank all of the readers, even if you HAVEN'T been reviewing. An even bigger thank-you to those who have been. It's nice to get good feedback and suggestions._

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

"Anna, I'm telling you, there's nothing to be worried about." She was remaining stubborn as an Ox about going to get an MRI. It had been nice to break the news when she was loopy, but now she had insisted that she'd rather be sane for the moment, so they stopped the pain-killers for her horrible headache. I groaned, wishing that she'd take them again, not only because she would stop arguing about what had to be done, but so that she would stop making that awful face that told me she was still hurting.

"Yes there is. It's a giant magnet...right? So, won't all the filing cabinets and junk be stuck to the machine?" She did, however, look honestly scared, like some filing cabinet was going to...oh god, what if she was right? I didn't let her see the "OMG, you must be right" face, though. My little worries had to sit next to my conscience.

"Anna, nothing's going to hit the machine. Don't you think that they've thought over this?"

"Doctors can be stupid," she mumbled.

"Anna, you're not the first person to ever get an MRI."

"Well..." I knew she was all dizzy, but I didn't stop her from sliding over to the side of her bed to sit up and look at me. I knew how fed up she was with the hospital. Eight hours of laying in bed would have taken it's toll on the dancer sooner or later. _Try sitting here for eight hours as support!_ shouted my butt, which had been firmly planted on the hard wooden chair for most of the eight hours. My head didn't mind coming here for Anna — it was almost like a continuation of our date, if you could tune out the bleeping machines, the hospital workers talking loudly in the hall, and, of course, Anna's parents arguing in the hall.

She had noticed them, too. "Maybe they should go home. You can take care of me, right?" Anna sounded like this would amuse her to no end. I could take care of her. She knew that...I just hadn't gotten the chance to prove it yet.

"Right," I agreed, sure of myself.

She smiled, rising up to her feet. After a few wobbles, she sat on the floor next to me, leaning her head on my knee. "You know," she started. "You can turn on the TV if you want. I'm not going to gouge your eyes out if you do."

"You? Hurt me? Anna, I don't think that's possible. Not only because you love me so much —" I broke off to smile down at her. She rolled her eyes, grinning. " — but also...um...werewolf?" I knocked on my chest. A flicker of understanding lit her face, then she nodded.

"Oooh, so now you get to be superman, too?"

"Anna, I never said I was superman."

"You're my superman," she clarified. Then it was quiet. I decided to turn on the TV, listening to Anna breathe softly at my feet. When I looked down, she was sleeping again. I gave her shoulder a tiny shake, and she woke up for a little bit. Just for a second, then closed her eyes again. This time I shook harder and roused her to her feet. Holding her shoulder, I helped her into bed. She wouldn't thank me if I did it myself, so I could say that she did it on her own. "Sleep walking," I'd say. Besides, the bed was far more comfortable than the floor. Or this chair. Ow...

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

_There was a cool pool of water, and when I looked into it, I wasn't Anna. No, Anna wasn't this pretty. I was some beautiful, beautiful creature. Touching my face, with a little shock, I realized that it was stone hard. And stone cold. Colder than cold. Ice. The water of the pool was rippling, so I touched it, to see if it was real. Obviously, I wasn't, because I could never be so beautiful. It was real. My fingers slipped through it. It felt warm on my — was it skin? It felt warm on my hand, whatever was covering it. I looked at the picture again. My eyes. They were red. Bright red. This shocked me. My eyes were supposed to be blue. My picture in the pool of water changed. It wasn't me anymore, though it hadn't been in the first place, I reminded myself. It was Seth. He had a strange look on his face. Like he wanted to...to rip me in half? But I was his imprint!_

"_Seth?" I looked behind me, but no one was there. It was just his reflection, but nothing to reflect upon. I looked at my hand again, expecting to see his coppery skin, but it was still my unreal, white rock. The water rippled again. "S-Seth?"_

_Then out burst Seth, in his...well...in the nude... Anyway, he was there, and then he wasn't, and in his place was a giant wolf. Sand-colored, it fascinated me. I'd never seen anything so large. And then it was ripping me into shreds. Piece by piece._

"_Seth! It's me! Anna!" I tried to convince him in between painful rips._

"_You're not Anna! Anna is dead to me! You're a _leech_."_

_Leech. Leech. Leech. The name repeated itself in my head, even when Seth was off me, staring down at my scattered body. Leech. Leech. Leech._

"_Anna?" he called suddenly, coming back. "Anna?"_

"_Noo! Don't rip me again!"_

"_Anna, wake up."_

_What the heck? Wake up?_

"_Just _wake up."

I blinked. There was Seth, and I cringed. Looking down at my skin, I noticed, with happiness, that it was _skin_, not stone. I'd never been more happy to be me in my life.

"Seth, it was horrible."

"What was?"

"My dre—no, my _nightmare_."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Um...maybe later."

"Whatever you say. Oh, and Anna?"

"Mmm?" I asked.

"Your MRI prep is in three minutes, so we should probably get ready for the —"

"Anna! How are you feeling today?"

"Doctor," finished Seth, a little lamely, as a doctor with bleach blond hair and — what was up with all these girls interrupting Seth and I? — a large chest. She had long legs — gah — and had lots of mascara on. Seth didn't spare her a glance. He was looking at me for my answer.

"Pretty bad, considering I'm here." _Next to nurse bimbo, _I added silently. She laughed, and it was a peppy laugh, high up in her nose. It had a hint of a nasal-sound.

"Well, I'm here to take you to the MRI room. Mr. Clearwater, you're welcome to join us, but you'll have to come back when it's time for the MRI. OK? OK!"

Seth was helping me out of bed before I could object to the MRI. Great, now I was really in for it. Holding my elbow for support, we made our way through the hall, Nurse Bimbo talking amiably about her day. Wasn't she supposed to be telling me about the MRI? What the heck? I started panicking. Normally, I wasn't this afraid over hospital stuff. I could deal. But this? This was terrifying me for reasons that I couldn't explain. Seth at my elbow, I could push the fears away. But what happened when he left? What happened when that enormous beast was going to swallow me whole —

"OK. MRI stands for Magnetic Resonance Imagining." Blondie explained. So much for Monkeys Running Incognito... "It's easier to say MRI scan." Noooo...really? "It doesn't use radiation in the normal sense. It uses radio waves and magnetic rays — don't be scared!" she ordered at the look on my face. "I don't mind them. You can have earplugs and you won't hear a thing! The images produced by the scanner are very, very detailed. It doesn't hurt, but are you afraid of tiny spaces? Claustrophobic?"

"No," I lied in a tiny voice. Seth gave my elbow a squeeze. We walked into the Radiology wing, and there it was. The room that held the monster.

"OK, then. Do you have any metal on you? Like, hairpins and junk? A watch? Earrings?" I shook my head. "You haven't had any surgeries where they put metal pins..." But I was already shaking my head. Oh, God, oh, GOD! The scanner is enormous, Allie." _—Anna_ — "It's pretty much a long, skinny tube located in this room. A kind of stretcher — I call it the tray — is at an hole at one end. We put you on the tray, position you. The tray will slide into the scanner. You'll be closed off inside the scanner. There's an intercom in the scanner. We'll talk you through. You'll hear us, and we will hear you. You can talk to us, and we will be able to talk to you. We'll be able to see you inside the scanner, and if you run into any trouble, we can get you out." Trouble, just what I wanted to hear about. "If you don't think you can go through the whole thing without wigging out, tell me now. I can give you some sedatives. Do you want them?"

"Yes, please," I said as Seth and Nurse Bimbo helped me onto the tray.

She was gone for a second.

"Don't leave me," I whispered helplessly to Seth.

"I have to."

"No, you don't. We can bust out of here...um...now. Right? Please..."

"Anna..." he said, and there was hurt in his voice. He didn't like this anymore than I did. Wonderful.

"OK, OK, fine..." I trailed off as Blondie returned with a syringe. I cringed. Needles, ugh. Before she got ready to do the deed, she handed me earplugs. "These will help muffle out the sound, but you won't really mind much after this." She tweaked the needle.

"This will only pinch for a —" and before she finished her sentence, she stuck me.

"OW!" I squealed, writing as she emptied the needle's contents into my arm. I could almost feel the drowsiness seeping into my veins. I laid back on the bed. "What was that for? Why couldn't you finish your sentence?"

"Because then you'd expect it, silly!" She said this like it was common knowledge and I was the village idiot. I sighed, and my eyelids drooped. The last thing I registered before the tray started moving back was a look of satisfaction on Blondie's face.

"Love you," I murmured to Seth as he was forced to drop my hand.

"Love you, too," he replied, but it was muffled from the earplugs. I closed my eyes.

**(A/N — I looked up some stuff about sedatives, and for the one I'm saying was in the syringe, I forget the name, you're conscious during your procedure, whatever it may be, but when it's over and the stuff wears off, you don't remember a thing. OK? OK.)**

-- -- -- --

"Whoa," I muttered, rolling over. There was a warm hand on mine, but it didn't register. Nothing did. It was odd, because the last thing I remembered, I was going into the beast. Was I inside him? It didn't feel like it. Things slowly clicked into place. First, I was on a bed. Second, my lack of earplugs. Third, there wouldn't be a warm hand on mine if I was in the beast. The appendage that was Seth — I knew this, even through the fog that was my mind — was burning mine. I was tempted to squirm away from the heat, but it was relaxing, coaxing me to believe everything was OK.

"Welcome back, sleeping beauty," came Seth's voice, light and dreamy.

"Mmphf," I groaned, peeking open my eyes.

"You were funny, coming out of the machine," he started. "They told me you wouldn't remember it. It turns out, they let me into the room with the MRI. I didn't understand the picture of your head. I was watching the camera. You just sort of stayed there, looking all, I don't know...high, would be a good word. I guess you were, in a sense. We talked. You said you could still hear it all, and I laughed. And then when they told you that it was over, you sighed really loud, and everyone laughed. When they were helping you out, we had to try to get you to keep your eyes open. They went and got a stretcher instead. And I've been here, waiting for you to wake up for fifteen minutes. I think she overdosed," he laughed.

"Where's Dad and Mom?"

"Your mom went home. She had to take care of your Grams and Freddy. Your dad had to go to work, but he'll be back later. It's just past noon," he hinted.

"And you've stayed, the whole time?"

"Mmmhmm..." he said nonchalantly, like it was nothing.

"What about your mom? The pack?" I drawled. It had been hard enough to find my mouth — using it was a whole different task.

"All taken care of. Don't worry about it," he smoothed. "Do you want to turn on the TV?"

"Only if you do."

In a flash, ESPN was on.

"Oh, because I _love_ football."

-- -- -- --

_So. I have, like, nothing to say here. So...just review!_

_Yes._

_Love, Allie_


	12. BOOK ONE: TWELVE

_Here it is! The chapter you've all been waiting for!_

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

She was sleeping.

She'd been doing that a lot lately, and with good reason. She hates needles, and they'd drawn blood again. _Again._ Didn't they have enough of her blood by now? Her skin felt chilled underneath my hand, and I wondered what she was dreaming about. Another nightmare? I thought about waking her up before she started yelling. The bed next to her's was empty, but you could never know when she would get a roommate. Anna was still shook up about not being able to remember her MRI, which amused Doctor Tamblin to no end. I didn't like her much. She was a sadistic doctor to me. Anna cringed whenever she saw her. She called her Nurse Bimbo.

Sighing, I leaned back on my chair. It was a habit I'd picked up in kindergarten. Leaning back, listening to the teacher teach things I didn't really get. I'd never liked school. I never got to ask Anna if she liked it. That's what I'd ask her after she was done with her little nap. ESPN blared through the room, but her breathing was deep and even.

"I wonder if Favre is really coming back," said Jerry. He was sitting next to me in a chair. We'd asked for a couch, but neither of us guessed that was happening anytime soon.

"Well, the fans want him back, he wants to be back, but what if the Packers don't want him back?" I said lightly, trying to get my bit in with her dad.

"Well, you have to factor in Rodgers. What of him?"

"Fans hate him. They want Brett."

"The fans don't _hate_ him," argued Jerry.

"Well," said another voice. "I think Anna is getting bored with your strategic talk. Look, you've bored her to sleep." Mrs. Winston came into the room.

"Hi Mrs...Hi Anna's mom."

She laughed, and her laugh was like Anna's. "Call me Darlene."

"Hi Darlene, I'm Seth."

"So you're the boy Anna talked to be about last night."

"Before you left?"

"Thats right."

"W-what did she say...?"

"How she was head over heels for you," announced Darlene.

"_Mom_..." came Anna's voice, exasperated. Everyone laughed accept Anna, who was sitting up, looking frazzled. She rubbed her eyes, scowling at Darlene. Darlene laughed Anna's laugh, and I wanted desperately for Anna to laugh, too. My attention flickered back to ESPN, but I figured I could watch from her bed, so I gave my chair a shove along the floor, sliding up to Anna. It was an odd little move, but it did the job.

"How are you feeling? Was the nap nice?"

"Mmm," she sighed. I could tell she wanted to go home. "When are you going to get to see your family again? I feel like I'm keeping you here."

That stopped me. Did she want me to leave? "I called my mom last night and talked to her, and today, your dad said he'd drive me home to get some of my things and update the pa—the guys." I had almost let the word slip, but I saved myself. Anna had helped, though. I'd watched her widen her eyes as I almost blew the whole secret in front of her parent. What a fun time wheedling myself out of that would be.

"If you want, we can go now..." interjected Anna's dad, clearly unaware of my near fatal mistake. Yes, fatal, when your pack leader was Sam Uley.

I glanced at Anna, and she nodded. Darlene smiled. "We can hold up the fort."

"More like the hospital bed and two wooden chairs," laughed Anna. Ahh...the laugh.

"OK, then. Bye, Anna," I said, resisting the urge to say 'I love you' or give her a kiss. I had a decently long car ride ahead of me with her _father_, and I didn't want to talk about the birds and the bees. Plus, though Anna's mother was in the loop, Jerry remained clueless.

-- -- -- --

The car ride had been easy. All we did was talk about sports, which was fine with me. I hadn't done so in such a long time, and it felt nice to finally get some guy time. With a guy, that is. My mom tried, after Dad died, to be more fatherly, but it was hard when she was still trying to be Mom. The pack were his _brothers_, not his fathers, which would be a little weird, to have so many fathers. I nearly laughed aloud at the thought, but contained myself. I wasn't alone.

The first thing I asked him to do was to drop me off at my house. He waited in the driveway rather than coming in because no one would be home to meet anyway. Mom was working and Leah was doing pack stuff. But, if she was off, she wouldn't ever hang around Sam and Emily's place — too much love between them that she was jealous of. At times, I felt bad for her, but others she just made it so bad for herself... Like thinking about Claire dying, or thinking about another imprintee getting all of her hair chopped off and bawling her eyes out (cough cough Kim cough cough.) She just made things harder for herself that way, and miserable to be on patrol with her, and horrible for the rest of us. The thing was, she never picked on Emily. I think Sam was grateful for that, at least.

Grabbing a handful of tee-shirts — I would need them around the parents — and some cut-offs, even though that hospital was pretty chilly, I stuffed them into a bag and ran back outside. Next stop, the pack.

-- -- -- --

_...Meanwhile..._

**So...She Dances**

I was already having withdrawal symptoms. He'd been gone for ten minutes and I missed him. It was partly because there was nothing to do here, but also partly because I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, and I wanted to get that started already. My mom was really the only one who knew how insane I was about Seth. _Seth_ — NO! I wouldn't waist my time playing with his name, no matter HOW appetizing it was! Not that...not that I could taste it, or anything. It just tasted good on my mind...whatever. My mom looked at me and smiled.

"Oh, you're totally going crazy over this boy," she teased, tweaking my nose from her chair. She had 'One Life to Live' on, and someone had just been revived from a heart attack while in a car crash or something. _Soap operas,_ I thought bitterly.

"Yeah," I admitted guiltily.

"Don't worry, he'll be back soon. Your father and I were making bets on how long it'd take him to get out of here. I won," she finished in a satisfied voice, pulling a twenty dollar bill out of her pocked.

"_Mom_!"

"What, do you want it?"

"Why are you and Dad getting along, anyway?"

She paused before speaking again. "Well, we need to come together _sometimes_," she hedged. They couldn't fall back in love. I'd have to talk to my father about that when he came back.

But then the door opened, and in walked Nurse Bimbo with a clip-board. My blood froze.

-- -- -- --

_...meanwhile..._

**So...He's a Werewolf**

"SEEEEEEETH!"

I was tackled by a tiny bundle of brown hair. She had it in...curlers? I put my arms hesitantly around her.

"I MISSED YOOOOU!"

"I...I missed you too?"

Emily rescued me by swooping in and stealing up Claire. "How was the hospital?"

"Cold," I replied lightly. "Probably colder when I get back." That froze her.

"You...you're going back?"

"Yeah. We're still waiting on results. I came to pick up some clothes."

"Seth...I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, me too," I sighed dejectedly. "And she needs someone there to be strong for her while we wait to find out what in the hell this is, and I don't know if I can do that..."

"Of course you can."

"Well, tell the pack I said hi and I miss them."

"I will."

We hugged and then I was back in the car.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

"God, please, just wait one second! They'll be here in a minute, just wait!"

She really didn't want to wait, apparently.

"I'm sorry, Allie,"

"ANNA!" I corrected, breaking. "MY NAME IS FREAKING _ANNA_!"

"Oh. OK! Anna, I'm sorry, but I can't wait —"

"Seth! Dad!" I cried, relief flooding my voice. Seth assessed the situation, then moved in on my right side, taking hold of my hand. My mom and dad moved in on the left. I was shaking so hard, I could stop myself from clutching to both my parents and my Seth — my Seth, boy, that sounded good — for life.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news..." she began, and I knew, without really knowing, that my life was going to change forever. My mom turned pale. "We've located a mass, at the nape of your neck in between your cerebellum and your temporal lobe. That's probably the main reason why you only had a headache before you passed out. Were you having any balance problems?"

I thought about tripping over the threshold at Sam and Emily's house and nodded. Any normal person could have cleared that.

"And, I'm so sorry, it's cancerous. Astrocytomas, Grade three to be exact. But!" She said, trying to get my mom to show some reaction. She was just sitting there, all white and pale. I hadn't the heart to look at Seth. This was horrible enough to go through with my parents, but now that I'd found my soul-mate? I felt incredibly guilty. "It is operable," she continued. "We'd like to do surgery as soon as possible." Surgery? I always had thought that brain surgery was just a fake thing, something that they made up to scare little kids. Like vampires and werewolves...shoot.

My mom reacted. "What if it doesn't work?"

"That's what the chemotherapy afterwards is for. To kill remaining cancer cells."

"Whatever," I said, trying to be indifferent and positive, which was a hard — impossible — combination to pull. "When do we start?"

"In maybe a week. Are you sure you want to jump right in, Anna?"

"Yup," I said dully. But my hands were starting to ache from grabbing so hard. I couldn't look at any of my family or Seth. It would be too hard.

"Anna, you could d—," but my mother cut herself off. "I'm so proud of you," she said instead. Seth squeezed my hand, and it was the first time I noticed that he was looking at me. He'd never stopped.

"OK, Nurse B—Doctor, when do we have a set day?"

"Next Monday, I'll talk to the surgeons about it. You're in luck, we have neurosurgeons here."

"Mmm," I said, closing my eyes and leaning back. Then something hit me. "Wait! Am...am I going to lose my..."

She nodded sadly. "They're going to have to shave off some of your hair to get into your brain, and then the chemotherapy...it'll take care of the rest...

"OK. Thank you, Doctor."

She nodded, leaving. She'd be back later to explain the surgery, I was sure.

"Mom, can you and dad go get me something to eat? I'm sort of hungry..."

"OK," said my mom uneasily, releasing her vice grip on my hand and towing my dad from the room. I looked at Seth. "Maybe...maybe you should...go home." It was so impossibly hard to say. I'd all but ripped my heart out, saying it. It was worse than extracting every single tooth with a butter-knife and a pair of pliers.

"You don't — don't want me here?"

"Seth, I'm not going to have _hair_. Do you really think you could still love me when I'm bald as a baby?"

"Babies have hair..." he mumbled.

"Fine. As bald as bald gets. Happy? Do you really want to love me when I'm sick, when I'm puking my brains out into the toilet, when I have all of those machines hooked up to me after the surgery? When I can't remember your name. When I can't remember _my_ name."

"Yes, I would love you then."

"Well, maybe you should stop. I can die from this, Seth. What would that do to you?"

He didn't have a confident answer for this. I nodded in satisfaction, but then he gathered himself.

"Then I'll just have to re-teach it to you. Both names."

"But...I won't have hair...I'll be...gross and skinny..."

"Then I'll have to remind you how pretty you are."

I couldn't resist it. "Fine! You can stay. But I'll be the death of you if you do!"

He laughed and pressed his lips to my forehead, deep rumbles still shaking him — and me, now. He was strong. He could protect me from the cancer, right? Right.

"I love you," I said, kissing his neck. It was the only part I could reach when he was still kissing my forehead.

"I love you too," he said, speaking into my forehead.

And he had to, considering that I was going bald in a matter of just over a week.

I smiled.

Bald_ and_ beautiful, I guess. According to a certain Clearwater...

-- -- -- --

_OK! So, there won't be an update tomorrow because I'm visiting my Grandma, who is the loose base of Anna's Grams's character. So, when I get back, I'll have ideas for Grams. Oh, and my grandma has all her teeth. And she doesn't drink. But she is psycho. Yeah... There will definitely be a chapter up Monday, but I'm not so sure about Sunday. Mmm..._

_That is all!_

_Love, Allie_

_PS: Don't eat me for making Anna bald!_


	13. BOOK ONE: THIRTEEN

_I'm back from my crazy grammy's house!_

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

My eyelids flickered. How could I have fallen asleep again? This completely and totally sucked. I hated every part of being sick. _Every_ part. I had learned no patience, no further compassion for the people. I didn't have a need to help baby penguins after oil spills. I didn't want to raise money for poverty, or build a house for humanity or whatever they called it. It sounded crude, even in my thoughts, but being ill had given nothing back to me! Gosh, I was sharing _brain-space_ with this tumor and it had given me_ nothing_ back! Well, unless you counted a bad headache, a need for surgery, chemotherapy, a hospital stay... Nothing _good_.

He was awake. I hadn't seen him sleep this entire time. He was either some freak of nature — a freak that I was totally, fully in love with, mind you — that didn't sleep, or just always woke up before me. The second one seemed most plausible, considering how long I slept nowadays. It was Friday, and Monday I had my surgery. Monday! I was terrified. You'd be too! They were going to cut into my skull! What if I could never do anything fun again?

"Seth?" I asked, purpose in my voice. An idea had sparked in my disabled brain.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Can we do something fun before Monday?"

"What, like wheelchair surfing?"

"Out of the hospital," I added after his idea. Wheelchair surfing...gah. I would break my head open. No need for the door in the back of my head!

"Anna..." he trailed off.

"Seth..." I pleaded.

"Anna! You're awake!" My mom called from the open door. Shoot. My dad was behind her, and...Grams, with her walker. Shoot...

"Felicerty!" My grandmother called from the door.

"Who's Felicity..." asked Seth uncertainly.

"Go with it," I hissed defeatedly.

"I missed you, Grams," I said lightly. And I had. For all of two seconds. Don't get me wrong, because I love my Grams. She's just...impossible.

"Missed yeh too, Lacey..."

"Lacey...?" Seth was bothered by this. Ooooh, shoot. If he closed his mouth now, my Grams wouldn't be thrown out of the hospital.

"Cuckoo," I informed in that cuckoo clock voice.

"Ooooh..."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

I shouldn't have let her convince me to do this. Even with her pressed against my chest, she could get hurt cliff diving. But the moment I had said it, she put it on her list of fun things to do today. Dear God, the tumor must have been getting to her. She was a little crazy today. She laughed, looking up at me with shining eyes. All of my doubts washed away. This would be great, just what she needed. A rush before her surgery. She'd been in bed so long, it must have felt great when we stood up...to sneak out. That was the bad part. We had to be back by seven, because that was when her doctor came on his rounds to check on her. And her parents had apologized on numerous occasions days earlier, Anna's mom needing to stay with Grams and the cold she had caught at the hospital, and Anna's dad having to stay at work late.

"Are you going to jump, scardey-cat?" she teased.

"I'm not the one shaking," I noted lightly, chuckling. She was shivering.

"It's chilly up here! Not everyone is a walking furnace."

I laughed, and launched us over the cliff.

She hadn't been ready.

She let out the loudest scream I'd ever heard. But then she was laughing hysterically. Definitely crazy, I confirmed.

As we hit the water, I curled tighter around the little person called Anna. She seemed so small, jumping off a cliff. Wow, that sounded bad. _Everyone _seemed small jumping off a cliff. But the point remained. I hit first, and Anna was still laughing when she dunked under. I opened my eyes, and found that she had her's open too, and she was smiling widely. Accept she swam the wrong way to the surface. Swimming down, a reed touched her hair. I still had her by one hand. Dragging her upward, the minute I touched clean air, I laughed.

She popped up a second after. "Again!"

"Again?" I asked.

"Yes! That was fun!"

"You're not the one doing all the work!"

"I could do it on my own," she giggled.

"Yeah, and drown yourself, Miss I-Like-to-Swim-to-the-_Bottom_-to-get-Air."

She laughed. "I could figure it out."

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

The cliff-diving had been beyond incredible. But now it was time...for ATV's. Yup.

Seth helped me put on my helmet while I got seated on Embry Call's quad. Seth had said it would be fine to borrow it, because Embry was all for people having fun, and he hadn't used it in a while. And, "Besides," he'd promised, "Everyone uses Embry's quads. He's got, what, seven of them?" Yes. Seven. The leather was damp from the always constant sheen of rain that seemed to cover everything in Forks, even in the summer. It was rare to have sun, as most people would know. Seth hopped on after, lacking a helmet.

"Where's you helmet? There's important stuff in there that I want to protect."

"What? I don't need one. Beside's, you've got the only one."

I took it off and offered it to him.

"No, the stuff that needs to be protected is in your head."

"What, you want to protect my tumor? I thought we were getting _rid_ of that."

He sighed, pushing the helmet back over my head. Then he revved up the motor, and we were flying. Literally. Through the woods, where the La Push kids had a couple of dirt mounds set up for riding over. We flew up over the first one, landing squarely on the ground. Seth looked cautiously at me, but I was grinning like an idiot as he drove us over another mound. We did this for the good part of fifteen minutes. That is, until he asked if I wanted to go bigger and better.

"Yeah?" I said, though it came out like a question. It was. How could he expect me to want to stay with the baby stuff when I knew there was better? My visor kept falling down over my eyes, so I left it there, waiting for him to start it up again.

"Make sure if I say bail, you bail. OK?"

"OK."

Then he gassed it, and we bulleted from our stopped position. I yelled in exhilaration. This was great. Seth was pressed up against my back reassuringly. If I had died of a the tumor right here, I would have been a happy person. Well, not really, because Seth would be...well...yeah. But being with Seth when I died would be perfect. Especially if I was ninety when it happened. Yeah. That would be swell.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

Gripping onto the handle bars, I checked Anna for the fifth time in an hour. She was still there, grinning like mad. I smiled. She was made for quadding.

"Want to do a jump?"

"Yes!"

"OK, hold on," I ordered, then revved a few times to pump up my adrenaline, and then I gassed it all the way down. She yelled out in the way you do when you're at a sports game, the way she did when she was cliff diving, and it made me inflate. So I tried vainly to push it down harder, which probably wasn't my smartest idea, because we came at the ramp on an angle. There was a word caught in my throat that I couldn't quite get out. Taking a deep breath, trying to brake, I shouted, "Bail!"

She didn't listen. She couldn't. Her helmet, her damn helmet, was pressed over her ears. She was still screaming in happiness when we hit at the awkward angle, but then it turned to fear. She gripped to the quad, and then, I did the only thing I could do to get her off. I pushed her. She went flying, though. Right into the ground. But she was safe. That was all I could think about as the quad sailed to the ground.

When it hit, it didn't hurt. Maybe because it didn't land on top of me? I never found out, but I was fine. Feeling my face over, I sighed. Fine. Fine. Fine. All fine. Then I started to wildly search for where Anna fell. What if she was hurt? I shouldn't have taken her. Cliff-diving would have been enough. If she was hurt, it was all my fault.

_All my fault._

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

Odd. I was pressed up against a tree. Then things came flooding back. We'd hit wrong, and Seth, my Seth, with no helmet. He was there somewhere. Probably hurt, beneath an enormous quad. But I couldn't force myself to move. I was just too tired. I took note of my closed eyes, just to reassure myself that they _were indeed_ closed, and, with a jolt, realized that I had no helmet on. Opening my eyes widely, my fears evaporated. Seth, glowing, gorgeous, Seth, unharmed, hovering above me. Worried.

"Are you OK? Where does it hurt?"

Sitting up, I groaned, "I'm fine. Are you alright?"

He was OK. I knew that before asking. "Peachy," he mumbled, helping me to my feet. He made me wait by the tree anyway, though, as he pushed the quad back up.

"It's probably not smart, but I'm thinking about taking the quad back. Is that OK with you, Anna?"

"Yeah." I climbed on.

"Are you sure you're OK?"

"Fine. What's next?"

He groaned.

-- -- -- --

_Later_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

I was amazed.

We had gotten back to the hospital and snuck in just fine. No problems. The doctor was even three minutes late. A miracle, if you asked me. Anna's dad stopped in to say goodnight, and then asked Anna if it was OK if he went home. He had some sort of presentation to do. She said it was fine. Before we both fell asleep, Anna looked at me.

"This was the best day of my life," she whispered. And then she was sleeping.

"Yeah. Mine too," I whispered into the night.

-- -- -- --

_All done! Haha, yay! I liked that chapter. It was fun. FUN! Yes. _

_You know the drill, review, and you shall be rewarded! But I'm a sap, so there'll be a chapter up tomorrow anyway. But, regardless, REVIEW! Because I love you, haha._

_Love, Allie_

_PS: HAH! This was up at 8:15 on the dot in my time zone, so HA! Because I usually try to get it up by twelve. Yes._


	14. BOOK ONE: FOURTEEN

_Sorry about not posting yesterday! Don't eat me...?_

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

Waking up, I realized what day it was. Sunday.

The day before they cut into my skull.

Holy Crap.

"S-Seth?"

A loud snore met my calling. Great, the only day I could find him sleeping, I needed his reassurance. Breathing in and out, I tried to calm myself. My dad was leaning back in a chair by the window, breathing deep and evenly, so I didn't even bother to call him. Nope, I was alone. And it hurt inside of me. I could almost feel — consciously — the place in the back of my skull where they told me they were going to shave and...and open. It was like the hair was growing faster. I always had to touch it, now, when I thought about it. Reaching up a tentative hand, I felt the hair there, the hair that I was going to loose. Well, I was going to loose all my hair. The hair that was pre-boarding the bald-y express.

Laying back further into my pillows, I contemplated turning on the TV while my support slept. I knew they both needed it, though, so I couldn't be mad. Especially not at Seth. Never, not for one second. Frustrated? Maybe. Like his protectiveness, that could get a little irksome. On the quad and such, he was a little — a little stressed. I liked feeling looked after, though, so it was forgiven. Besides, it would be nice to have a hand to hold when it came time for my surgery. Taking another deep breath, I let out a tiny yawn. I'd been asleep for a while, I guessed. Seth stirred.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered. "Don't wake up."

"Wha...?" he yawned. I sighed, scooting over in my bed, inviting him to sit. He threw me an exasperated look, glancing at my dad. I rolled my eyes.

"He sleeps sounder than a log," I reassured Seth.

He shook his head, "Still, we both fell asleep at around the same time. He should be up soon, I guess."

Seth noticed my expression. "Nervous?" he guessed.

"A...a little," I lied.

He got up and sat by me. Finally, something my anxiety could be used for. I wiggled in a little closer. He laughed.

"You don't look a _little_ nervous."

"What do I look?"

"A lot nervous."

"Only you would know..." I mumbled.

"Mmm..."

"What?"

"Your face."

"What, what's wrong with it?!" I asked frantically, feeling my face for any food particles.

He chuckled. "Nothing. You're beautiful. It's just...you look so...scared." I didn't have an excuse to be scared, not with brave Seth over here.

"You're not?" I challenged, knowing the answer. _Nope, it'll go fine, you're worrying too much._

I didn't get my reassurance.

"I'm...yeah, very."

Shoot.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

Panic flickered across her face.

"You...you're scared?"

"Yeah," I said guiltily. I was supposed to be her base, her strong-hold. And I was scared. I felt like the worst boyfriend on the face of the planet. Boyfriend...I'd felt like more before, like her go-to-guy-who's-also-her-future-husband, but now I felt like scum.

"It's OK," she said lightly, and I didn't understand why. How could she be light now, when she was just flipping out?

"Why is it OK?" I was eager for an answer.

"We can be scared together."

_Yeah, easy for you to say. If you die, you go to heaven. I have to stay here and take the news! I have to live the remainder — however short — of my life mourning you! _I wanted to say it, but I didn't, because that would make her feel guilty. And I couldn't bear that, not for a second. So I nodded. "Yeah...together," I looked away though, past her, at the white wall, washed dark in the early morning. She was waking up earlier these days. Maybe she was anticipating the surgery? I didn't know. I didn't really want to know, either.

She smiled. "Yup." It was closing, concluding the conversation.

"Hungry?"

"Starved."

I glanced over to her sleeping father, then stood up to go get her food.

"Oh!" she gasped, sitting straight up. Her head must have whirled, because she leaned back again as I turned. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too."

I was down the hall when I heard, "Make sure you get me a pudding cup!"

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

My throat was hoarse and ache-y, but it was worth screaming. My pudding cup was delicious. It had been the best of the hospital food so far. My dad always forgot to grab one when getting food, but I knew Seth would remember. And he had. I'd gotten a sandwich, too. It was ham. With mayo. I didn't like mayo, but due to Seth's look of hurt when I all but blew chunks upon my first bite of the sandwich, I stomached it. The pudding also helped me to wash the taste out of my mouth. Well, more like smother it.

"You didn't like the sandwich," said Seth dejectedly.

"Why would you say that?" I asked uneasily.

"You gagged on it, and then you pretty much drank your pudding."

"Oh."

"It's OK, but what don't you like about it?"

"Mayo."

"Mayo?"

"Mayo."

"That's all?"

"Thats all."

He looked relieved. That made me laugh. He looked in my direction, then chuckled.

"What?" he asked after he was finished.

"You're a man of simple pleasures and simple tragedies."

"I don't think simple tragedies were part of the saying, Anna." He laughed again. Good, he was laughing.

"Well, I added it."

"Anna, you are —" he was cut off by my father's snore "—you are something else."

"Mmm, whatever you say..."

-- -- -- --

_There it is! Next chapter, SURGERY! Yuppers!_

_Love, Allie_


	15. BOOK ONE: FIFTEEN

_OK, loves, here it is!_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

I was sitting up in bed on Monday, my stomach crawling.

Surgery.

The single most terrifying thing I'd ever thought about in my life. And it was on my head. My _head_! How horrible was that? Horrible. Utterly horrible. I rubbed my hands on the back of my neck, where the hair would come off today. They were coming in to shave me in a few hours. It was my last moments with my hair in the back. I wanted to spend it right. Seth was sitting in a chair in front of the TV, and both my parents were sitting together. Grams was with Aunt Cheryl, who would be visiting with us after the surgery. I guessed.

Mom glanced over at me. She'd been doing it periodically, to make sure that I was coping OK.

"It'll grow back," Mom soothed, looking from me to my long blonde hair. I saw a look of pity and sadness at her own loss there. She'd always loved my hair.

"I know...but my head will be cold," I complained.

"We can get you a hat. Besides, it's hot."

"What happens when school starts and it gets cold? What then?"

She was silent. I'd tread on unspoken ground.

"The doctor didn't say how long you'd be on the stuff. And besides, it might not all fall out. Brain tumor patients like you only get thinning hair."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I want to shave my head."

I really had thought it over. Long and hard. Very hard. I mean, I didn't want to walk around with a bald patch on my head, and it would all grow in even if I shaved it. It was totally logical. I was actually thinking straight for once in my life. Right now, I wanted to look like I was ready for this. Because my parents sure as heck weren't ready. Seth could have been, but he was too worried. I was the only one willing to dive head first into this, and I wanted to show it. I wanted to show it by doing the only thing I could think of to show it.

"You...you do?"

"It'll make it easier for the surgeons. Can't we get the nurses to take it all off? Besides, then it will all grow back the same length. Once it's all in, you can give me a cute bob or something. I'd like to feel the wind on my baldness."

Seth snickered, but my mom threw him the strangest look, and he closed his face.

"Seth, what do you think?" I asked, staring him down. He squirmed.

"I like your hair, but I...I think shaving it off is a good idea." Yay! He'd sided with me. I was so pleased I could burst.

"See Mom? We should do it. We really should."

She didn't answer, so I took that as a yes. My dad was silent. I didn't really think he cared about what happened to my hair, only my head. And I appreciated that.

"Fine," she huffed, caving into my demands.

-- -- -- --

**So...She Dances**

The nurse. Oh, shoot, the nurse.

I ran my hands through my hair, savoring the last moments of having protection around my skin. I'd have to put sunscreen on my head now. It'd be so gross, but I couldn't get sunburned, right? Right. I didn't want that. Hair. _Hair._

"So, we're shaving the back of your head today, honey!" said the friendly nurse I'd come to know as Nurse Mandy. She was old, gray, and wrinkled, but she was always sweet to me.

"Actually, would it be too much to ask to shave the whole thing?"

She looked bewildered, but shook her head. "Nope, I can do that."

I took a deep breath, getting out of bed and into Seth's chair, which he willingly offered up. Making myself comfortable, I looked up at the Nurse. She began to make small talk.

"Are you going to be out during your surgery?"

"Yup. I wouldn't be able to... handle it. Not awake."

"And...you...you want your _whole_ head shaved?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Alright then," she said, and then she skimmed the razor over my head. Straight down the middle. No turning back. The hair fell off. My skin was exposed. The hospital air felt chilly on my bare, unprotected strip of head, but I liked the feeling. It was free. Seth reached for my hand, but I shook my head, much to the dismay of Nurse Mandy.

"I'm fine," I smiled. This would be the best part of today.

He eyed me warily, then watched the buzzer-razor skim over my head a few more times. Air, freedom, breezy, cold. It was all so...refreshing. I'd had long hair my entire life. I watched it fall in long strands to the floor. I should have been freaked out — that's what normal, healthy Annabelle would have done. But now I was brave, sick, free Anna, and I watched it form a big pile on the floor. I was Anna. Annabelle was no more. I was Anna, Seth's girlfriend. His girlfriend. And it felt nice. Very nice.

I was bald. Completely and utterly bald. I ran my hands over my head, feeling up the baldness. Bald as a baby's butt. Bald — the word felt odd on my tongue. I'd once made fun of my bald grandfather. But now it was cool. Chic. I was anew with this zero-hair head.

Seth was gaping.

"Like it?" I asked, giddy.

"It looks..." he was searching for the right word. "Dramatic. I like it a lot."

I smiled, turning my attention to my parents.

"I've never seen your neck like that before. It looks great, hon," said my dad.

"It's OK," agreed my mom. She would be mourning over my lost hair soon, so she couldn't quite compliment my new 'do at the moment.

"Yeah. It's OK." I was agreeing this time. Because it was. I was getting a head start on getting healthy again.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

I watched my new, bald Anna as the doctors prepped her for surgery. She looked determined, strong. Was it the new haircut? Maybe all the air around her head was giving her more courage. I should have gotten my head shaved. Maybe, then, I could be brave for her. Maybe I could be determined, or strong, or something other than scared witless. She would have her knock-out medicine — whatever they called it, I wasn't listening — soon, and then they'd start.

"...and then we'll put the piece back, staple you up, and BAM!" Doctor Tamblin threw her arms out. "All done!"

Anna was getting a little PO'ed, I could tell by the way her eyebrows crinkled up a little bit. She didn't like Doctor Tamblin...

"All done? And what chance do I have of not waking up? What if I never get to 'all done'?" Yep, she was pretty pissed.

"Well...lets not talk about that. Recovery! Lets talk recovery. Your recovery will be six weeks, then two weeks after your six weeks, if all goes well, we'll start _Chemo!_" she sounded utterly excited by this. Anna leaned back in bed.

"How will chemo work?"

"Well, we'll give you cisplatin on an IV drip of your PICC Line, and that'll take four or five hours —"

"_What?_"

"Four or five hours, hon. It takes a while. But there's a drip before the cizplatin that you'll need. It'll hydrate you, to protect your kidneys."

"Four hours..." mumbled Anna weakly.

"Or five," put in Doctor Tamblin.

Anna scowled.

A surgeon peeked his head in. "We're ready for Ms. Annabelle Winston?" He made it sound like a question. Anna looked at me, all determination melting. She mouthed something along the lines of not wanting to go, but I couldn't understand it. I never understood how people could read lips.

"Bye, honey, see you in the recovery room!" Darlene's call was enthusiastic, but she was clinging to her ex-husband for dear life.

"See you in a bit, Anna," called her father.

"Anna," I said as she stood up to walk over to the wheelchair. She fell up against me, and rather than our heads clunking, our lips met. There was an awkward pause where we stood there, lips pressed hard against each other's, eyes wide open and staring, and then it melted into a calm, sweet kiss. Her lips, though, felt a little desperate. She was the one to break it, looking pleadingly at me. _I love you_, she mouthed, and I understood it.

"I love you too," I said aloud. I knew why she had mouthed it — her voice would crack otherwise. How had I gotten to know Anna so fast? What if I never got to know what her favorite movie was, what she wanted to do when she grew up? But then she put back on her brave face, and I was forced to keep my fears all bottled up.

"Bye, see you in a little while," she addressed everyone.

I watched as the love of my life plopped into the wheelchair, saying, "Let's go, boys."

She'd leave for surgery, if anything, in style.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

The table was cool. And there was a mask over my nose and mouth.

"Breath deep, Annabelle," was the last thing I remembered when I took what could have been my last conscious breath. I faded into blackness, though was briefly aware, before unconsciousness, of a small slit growing larger in the back of my head.

Blank.

-- -- -- --

_Cliff hanger! Oooh, I'm evil._

_Love, Allie_


	16. BOOK ONE: SIXTEEN

_I hope you all are happy! I was _this close_ to killing off Anna. _THIS CLOSE! _But I didn't, for two reasons. 1 - I really like this story, and want to continue. 2 - You'd all murder me. Most of my day-dreams center around you all coming after me with torches and pitch-forks. Yeah, not pleasant. So, here's your lovely Anna!_

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Alive! (And Bald)**

Holy frick, my head hurt.

Wait. Pain. Pain came with living, which meant I was alive. Alive! My chest rose and fell with the air I thought I would never breathe again. Things fell into place. Firstly, that my heart was beating. I took a second to savor that. Secondly, my eyes were closed. I kept them shut, savoring the sweet moment of life. I had been utterly convinced I would die. There wasn't a doubt in my mind, even though I would never have openly admitted it. Thirdly, there was a warmth around me. An aurora of happiness. And a warm hand resting over mine. And another normal one on my other side. This caught my attention. My eyes flickered open, looking around warily, though I felt my lips upturn a little. That quickly turned into a grimace.

"Aunt Cheryl," I said unhappily, looking into the face of my aunt. She smiled.

"Welcome back, hon."

My hope was restored when I turned and saw Seth to my right. "I'm alive," I said in awe. He laughed.

"Yep."

"Where's my mom and dad?"

"Um." He looked uncomfortable.

"What?"

"They're getting something to eat."

"Where did my mom go? My dad can tolerate it, but my mom hates cafeteria food."

"She...well...they're together."

He should have lied. "What the hell? They're _divorced_, for Christ's sake!" I'd never used Christ or God's name in vain, but this occasion was special. My separated parents were on what sounded like a _date._ They _hated_ each other!

"Um...er...—"

"Shouldn't they be here?" I said weakly, closing my eyes. The back of my head hurt like a bitch. I normally didn't swear, but, again — me and those special occasions. Aunt Cheryl's hand moved from mine.

"Want me to call th—"

"No. They can have their date."

"Annabelle, you have to understand that you took longer to wake up than they expected —"

"What?" Me and my interruptions.

"Annabelle, it's three in the morning."

I was confused, to say the least.

"You were supposed to wake up at least two hours ago."

"But still...they should have been here..." My head throbbed worse than it had ever when I had the headache that started this. My bald head was cold, just as I'd expected. Everything that had been sweet and happy of being alive was dampened by this new pain — my outlook felt bleaker already. My poor, cold head. But I was new! But I was cold... New, or cold?

After some silent debating, I decided on new. I wanted to be positive.

"Well, we're here. You, me, Seth, and Grams."

"Grams?"

"She's sober," said Aunt Cheryl reassuringly.

"Grams?"

"Asleep," answered Seth. "She's not even in the room."

"Oh." I said lamely.

"Seth?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do I have a really bad scar?"

Shoot, why'd I shave my head? Now if I had a horrible scar, everyone would be able to see it.

_Why not?_ Argued brave Anna. _Let them see it. It's part of you._

_But I don't want to be scarred and ugly!_ Protested wimpy Annabelle.

I was siding with Anna. Because Anna was Seth's girlfriend, who was chic and dramatic-looking.

Or so she'd been told.

"Well...of course you have a scar. Do you want to see it?" Seth sounded wary.

"Yeah."

Aunt Cheryl took out her compact, and Seth got a nurse to get me a mirror. She was flat chested, so I felt fine being bald. It would definitely take some getting used to, though I was _new_. _Think new_, urged my brave half.

Sitting up a little — which was an enormous effort, and Seth had to help me — I took a deep breath with closed eyes, then opened them, holding one mirror in front of me, and the other behind, where my head hurt. I laughed. It was a perfect square, a little smaller than a Rubik's Cube. Nestling back down, I pondered how much they had took out. I didn't know how big my tumor had been, and it scared me to think that something that big had been inside of me, that there were still little bits of it in there — growing faster than I could ever fathom. Suddenly, I was antsy. I wanted to start my chemo right now.

But before I could think about saying how pumped I was for it, my mom and dad burst through the door, looking kind of frazzled and sweaty. I crossed my arms across my chest, even though that was about the only motion I could accomplish after the mirror had exhausted me so much. My mom looked straight at the bed, at my position, and straightened up. She elbowed my dad, and he did the same, fixing up his hair.

"You're awake!" My mom sang. Dad followed behind her, smiling.

"I'm _alive_!" I said, imitating their excitement. "And you're_ divorced_!"

Mom looked awkward.

"If you two get back together, do you know what that will do to me? After being told my entire life — well, most of it — that you two just weren't good for each other? That it wasn't my fault? Well, this time it is. Can some one go get me some pain killer?" I finished weakly, my arms flopping to my sides. Anger was exhausting.

"I'll call the nurse," said Seth quickly.

"The boobless one..." I added, but it sounded like a moan and I didn't think he heard me.

It was then I realized all of the machines I was hooked up to. The IVs that were in my arm, the machines bleeping, that there were little circles attatched to my chest. How come there wasn't anything on my head? What was up with that? I'd just had _brain surgery_.

The nurse he brought back was, indeed, flat chested. I watched her carefully as she put the drugs into my tube. I watched it drip down the tube and into my arm. Within a few minutes, I was almost all gone.

"'sorry I yelled..." I apologized, drifting off. But not until I heard. "I'm sorry, too."

-- -- -- --

_There you have it! No angry mobs. Buuuut there wasn't any Seth views in that chapter. I just didn't think I could portray him when he's so...overwhelmed. He'd be a wreck, and I thought I'd only do Anna in here because, well, she was the one that was going to die, and lived. Yeah... _

_Love, Allie_


	17. BOOK ONE: SEVENTEEN

_Hurray! New chapter. Well, I finished _Breaking Dawn_, which was — in my opinion — kind of bad at the beginning, but it evened out and turned nice and good. I really liked it overall. NO SPOILERS WILL COME FROM ME! Yesz. So here's the chapter! Oh, and the idea came from _amp2013_. So thank you for that! _

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

The last few weeks had been, in a word, tedious.

Being forced to sit up, sit down, painkillers, sit up, "How do you feel?" "Bald", down, painkillers... Very repetitive. Accept for today, because today, Seth was taking me to the food-court. I'd never actually been there, and sitting in my wheelchair, I realized, _Yup, never been here, never want to. Let's GO! _But Seth wouldn't give up. So we walked in, Seth preaching about how "I needed more social interaction." because "I'd been sitting in my room all day." Basically, what my dad had said an hour before. I knew they weren't his words, so I couldn't blame him for torturing me like this.

"You can have your own words now, Seth. Or should I call you Daddy?"

He sighed happily. "I could have sworn he was following us." He wiped imaginary sweat from his brow, but I felt self conscious. Was I that heavy?

"Can we get this over with?" I asked in defeat.

"Yeah, lets. I think I need to go sit in the room. All of this social activity — man, it's killing me!"

I laughed, but it hurt my head. I had little stubble growing back all over my head, and it kind of itched. Rubbing my hand along the length of my head, I felt the little prickles that was my new hair. Maybe I would wax it off — though that had always sounded painful when my friends got their eyebrows done. I'd never worried about it. I suddenly wished I had, in case I really _did _need to wax it. Rubbing my head some more — it got the itch out — I watched the room full of hair eat. Long hair, short hair, colored hair, barely hair — which made me feel a little better about "no hair"...

"Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go somewhere...I don't know...not so...hairy?"

He laughed. "Where would you suggest, your Baldness?"

"That was low." His face fell as I said this, though.

"I thought you liked being...bald."

"I do...but...I feel all...alone."

"Do you want me to get the food and bring it up to you?"

"S-sure..." I stuttered, verging on tears. Mood swings, GAH! I guess I had right to. I was bald by choice, but alone by default. And I'd be bald by default in a few weeks. The doctors, yes plural, had decided that it would be best for me to take a week to go home, then start chemo, which was fine for me, accept for the fact that I WAS BALD.

His face was falling downhill almost as fast as my mood was.

"S-Seth..." I said lamely, watching him in pain from my own pain, through bleary eyes.

He swooped in for a hug, and I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't remember crying once since I got the news I had cancer, but now I was blubbering into his shoulder. I normally didn't feel sorry for myself, but here I was, bawling. All of the pent up stuff from the entire hospital experience, like getting in the bed, the MRI (Monkeys Running Incognito), the blood tests — oh, the blood tests — the news, it was all coming out. At least I knew one this, as my snot stained his shirt that he'd been forced to put on upon leaving the room — Seth had a good shoulder to cry on. It was warm.

"It's...just...so..._horrible_!" I wailed.

"I know..." he soothed. "Here, lets get you back to the room."

Seth suddenly reminded me of my dad. Not my mom, who should have been the nurturing parent. My dad. This made me wail harder.

By the time we were almost at the room, my sobbing had been reduced to a few whimpers here and there. Seth seemed pleased by this. He'd changed my crying to just little sniffles. I was thankful for that. Wheeling me into the room, he looked me over. My eyes must have been really blotchy. I winced, rubbing them like a child. He hugged me again, and I realized how good he smelled. Like...a Seth-y smell. It was, certainly, the only way to explain it, besides vague words like "woodsy" or "earthy". I couldn't put my finger on what I was smelling, but I liked it. I liked it a lot.

"You smell nice," I sniffled.

"Thanks," he murmured. "Aren't you hungry, though? I'll go get you something. You missed breakfast..."

"I know, I know..."

"Do you want to..." he gestured to the bed.

"I'm fine here. You don't have to help me move. If I wanted to, I could get up, I think. I'm just a little wobbly...and a little dizzy." I couldn't lie to him anymore. I mean, I could, but I didn't really have the energy, let alone the desire. Plus I couldn't think of any good ones.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

I didn't go to get her food. Not at first, anyway. Besides, she was really only ate the bread of the sandwich, so that would be easy to obtain. Besides, the cafeteria ladies loved me. They gave me free cereal. Fruit Loops weren't even on the menu! But I didn't like the Grandma feel they had to them. No, I wasn't going to the cafeteria, though. I was going to find Nurse Mandy. I knew she couldn't grow hair, but she could obviously take it off. Walking down the hospital hallway, I spotted the long table/desk where the nurses sat and walked up to the one who looked to be the head honcho.

"Hi."

"Hello, can I help you?"

"I'm looking for...Nurse...Mandy!" It took me a few seconds to remember it, but I did.

"Didi? Oh." She turned away from me. "Dee? Some boy looking for you."

"What? Oh, you," she said, looking at me. "Sam?"

"Seth." Did no one remember my name?!

"OK, sweetie, what can I do for you?"

"I need a hair-do."

-- -- -- --

(RARE POINT OF VIEW! ONE TIME ONLY!)

**So...She's a Hair-Cutting Nurse**

"Well, I wouldn't call it a hair-_do_..." I trailed off uncertainly. The boy was bald, for Pete's sake. More like for his mother's sake. "Sam — oh, Seth — are you sure this is what you wanted? Bald doesn't exactly..._suit_ you." No. Not one bit.

"It's for my girlfriend."

Ooooh, the cancer girlfriend. Being brave.

"I see, I see." I didn't really see, but it made him feel a little better. "Did she ask you to?"

"No."

"Did she want it?" This made him think a little. His brow creased — his only facial hair left. Heck, the kid had no stubble left. Unless he waxed it? Maybe it just hadn't grown in.

"It doesn't matter. I know she needs it. Man, she was a wreck today! I felt horrible. So I had to do it." He talked about her, and he had so much love in his eyes. I couldn't deny him that. The deed had been done, anyway. His hair was on the floor, the little black curls looking lonely without a head to attach to. I felt bad — he was such a good looking boy. His face was sweet and innocent, and he was so eager. He'd since matured from childhood, though. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to raise this child. A lot of hands on business, of course. He just seemed so...pure minded. Not girl crazy. His girlfriend was lucky, at least, in a sense that she had someone like him to lean on.

"You want a mirror?" I asked casually.

"Sure."

I handed him the mirror, and watched a little flicker at the corner of his lips.

"Perfect," he breathed.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

OK, now I was hungry. Watching E! reruns was not my idea of fun.

"Oh, Miley and Mandy are going to be in a dance off? Who cares?" I flipped the channel. Where was Seth? Did it take that long to get bread? Maybe he left me and my baldness. Maybe it was too much to hang out with a cancer-engulfed girl, even if he had imprinted on her. On me. _Watch, _I ordered myself_. He won't come back. He's sick of me..._ He won't come back. The thought pieced me like a knife with a serrated edge. A rusty knife, sliding through me like butter. Right in the organ that really mattered. _Your spleen?_ I taunted myself. _No, my heart. My sick, dying heart. My lonely heart. My —_

"Seth!" I called from my chair, which was getting uncomfortable. I was elated. He wasn't tired of me. He wasn't leaving. He wasn't — wow, he was —

"Haircut?" I asked, my blood chilling. Bald. Seth was bald. His hair?! He'd cut his...OMG.

"Yeah. Now we can be bald together."

"You...you cut your...for...for me?" I felt the tears coming again. I would _not_ blubber. I would _not _blubber.

He nodded solemnly.

Shoot. "You're — the — _best_ —," I gushed, shaking with tears.

"I didn't want you to _cry_!" He said, coming close to comfort me. I didn't want to see his face, which would probably be crumpled.

"I —" gulp "— I know — " gulp "— it's just —" gulp " — you're so —" some kind of guttural noise (ew) " — perfect... —" gasp.

He patted my back. And then he kissed me. And it was so...warm. Everywhere. I hadn't realized I was chilly until his lips burned against mine, and even though there I was, bald, sitting in a wheelchair, Seth was there, bald, leaning before me. His mouth was sweet and honest — there was nothing besides love behind his lips. Besides muscles, I guess... _He must have strong lip muscles._

We broke apart. I breathed heavily, leaning back a little. Then something clicked.

I backhanded his cheek. "You _cut_ your _hair_?!"

He didn't flinch as my hand collided with his face. I did. "Um, _OW_?!"

"Werewolf..." he said, taking my hand. Of course. Of _course_ they had to be rock hard. Ooooh, rock hard abs... "Yeah, I cut my hair."

"But it was so..._perfect._"

"Did it matter? What, do you miss it? I can get a wig..."

"I know one thing I'll miss."

"What's that?"

"You."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

"I know I'll miss one thing," Anna said uneasily.

"What's that?"

"You."

"But..." I trailed off in confusion. "But, I'm right here. You don't need to miss me."

Pain filled her expression. "When I'm..." she waggled her fingers, trying to make a joke out of it. "Gone."

"You're not going — no, no... You're past the surgery, chemo will be a breeze!"

"Seth...there's always that chance. You know that..."

I sighed in defeat. She wouldn't listen to reason anyway. Not my Anna...

"Anna?"

She averted her eyes. "Mmm...?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too..."

"And you're going to live."

"Of course," she smiled. Though there was a strange desperation, a sadness I couldn't place...

-- -- -- --

_Ooooh, suspense! What's up with Anna? I don't think I'll tell you! This was up at one o'clock, so no complaints about my updating skillz! You'll all understand that Breaking Dawn distracted me, right? Right. I hope so!_

_Love, Allie_


	18. BOOK ONE: EIGHTEEN

_Not much to say here, accept for this:_

**Warning — There will be mild to moderate (to advanced, if you count Paul's motor mouth) swearing in this chapter due to the, er, nature of the La Push boys. I'm not saying who most of it's coming from (-cough-PAUL-cough-) but still. Just to warn you. You can pretend, if you want, that they're nicer words, like butt or mean-face. Yeah. Thats all.**

_And I apologize for my cruddy insults. Yeah._

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

Seth said he had a surprise. I was thinking that it was Emily.

He'd been hinting all day that there would be "better cooking", which rocked the boat for me, because I could use some good food. I was all ready for Mrs. Soon-to-Be Uley to cook me something nice. Plus, she was fun to be around. Like a mom. Better than my Mom. But, he could mean that Mrs. Clearwater was coming. Maybe they both would. My mom would love the company of two females. She was getting bored with her recycled boy-toy — ahem, my dad. They'd been at it again... and again and again and again... They were like jack-rabbits! Always walking into the room at odd hours, hair all mussed, make-up smeared in my mom's case, shirt buttoned wrong for my dad. Or pants unzipped. It crept me out, majorly.

So when the door opened, and in walked — one, two, three...— _ten boys_ (not that I could honestly call them "boys" save for the two shorter ones), and a girl (woman), _plus_ Mrs. Clearwater, Emily, and Claire, I was a little shocked. So were my parents. Before everyone started talking at once, I saw my mom whisper to my dad, and I caught something about a "maximum occupancy" rule.

"Seth! You're — oh, oh my..."

"Seth, dude, you're balder than a baby's ass!"

"No, no, Paul, I think his neck blew a bubble!"

"Quil, he pulled a vanishing act! Poof, his hair vanished!"

"Qwil, wer did dey haiw go?"

It would have been entertaining if they all weren't making fun of _m_y boyfriend."At least his hair isn't messed up..." I said to the first one — the swearing one. He was getting on my nerves, and his hair _was_ messed up. It was mussed and it looked like it had a twig here and there. Maybe they just phased? I still didn't know much about werewolves. I would have to learn.

"Your brain is messed up," he countered, and my blood ran cold. Did he not know the truth to those words?

But I didn't hesitate. "At least I have one."

The boys guffawed at my snappy come-back, and Paul fumed.

Seth was fuming, too. And, thank god, not at me. I would die if he was.

"Paul, drop it."

"Why, can't think of a comeback?" Paul's voice made me cringe. It was just that kind of nails-on-chalkboard feel, but deeper and gravelly. Just the effect was the same.

"You know, Anna," the boy I recognized as Quil said, leaning in to my bed. "He's only a sandwiches short of a picnic. You can make something out of him yet!"

"But Quil! Someone _must _be missing their idiot!"

"Em, you totally messed that up. It's _village_ idiot."

"Don't _call_ me Em. Embry is my name. People will think I'm Emily!"

"Thats the point, buddy."

Embry huffed.

I turned back to Paul. He was still looking pretty PO'ed.

"Well, what now, comeback girl?"

"Well, wolf-boy, I have to say that I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For not being able to think of an insult stupid enough for you."

"Oh, burn!" said someone with a deep voice at the back of the procession.

Emily stifled giggles. She was sitting with my mom, watching the boys with growing curiosity. My mother looked stunned. I don't remember her ever seeing so many men in the history of her life. Or seeing me insult someone. That was also a first.

"Annabelle, that's enough."

"Yewa, Annabew," agreed Claire.

"I'm done, I'm done," I assured them both.

Claire climbed up on the bed. "How come youwr bawld?"

"Because I shaved my head," I said, sitting up to the best of my ability. At least the IVs were gone.

"Why did yew shabe et?" she asked.

"Because it's all going to come off eventually."

"How com Unca Set shabed his head?"

"Because he had an airhead moment. And because he lov—cares about me." I edited my explanation for the all-hearing ears of my parents. If I hadn't edited it, I would have gotten many "you don't know what love is" preaching's from dad.

"OK, thats enough, Claire."

"But Cwaire wasn't duwn!"

"Its OK. Don't you think it's time for a nap?" This was the girl — gah, woman — speaking. "Oh, I'm Leah..."

"Hi Leah, I'm Anna..."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Seth's sister."

"Oh, really? Thats cool."

"Nerd wouldn't have mentioned me, though..."

"I —" I didn't have anything to say.

"Ha, don't worry about it baldy."

"I won't."

"Lee-lee!" Mrs. Clearwater yelped.

"It's...fine."

Someone's phone rang. "Sam? Oh. Oh, I'll, um, we'll be over in a sec."

"Leech?" Seth looked longingly at the rest of them as he asked.

"Yeah, he and Jared are there. Sam wants us to go back in case it has a mate."

"Oh. Oh..." he trailed off, looking down.

"Don't worry about it; go."

"Really?" he asked, excited.

"Yup."

"Thanks, Anna, I'll be right back."

"Wait...what exactly are you going to do?" All I knew of what they really did was keep them from hurting people. Did they have some sort of containment facility or something?

"We...Anna, we kill them." I knew that my parents had no idea that we weren't talking about lake leeches that I'd got all over my legs when I was five. They had no idea that there were vampires, and werewolves, and they were enemies. I had no idea that they would kill them. Not until now.

"You...kill them?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine, don't worry."

My mom looked utterly confused. "Come on, Jerry. I think I left my gum in the car..." She waggled her eyebrows, towing him along after her as they pushed through the La Push pack, plus Claire, Emily, and Mrs. Clearwater, and I didn't make any move to stop them.

"OK. Sure... See you soon. Be...be careful, at least."

"I will. Are you sure —"

"Positive. Go have your fun."

"Alright..."

He bent down and kissed me gently on the lips. Someone made a gagging noise, which caused Seth to, without looking away from me or even breaking the kiss, make a rude hand gesture. The boy — he sounded like Embry... — hooted with amusement.

"Bye, Seth."

"Love you, Anna," he replied, and his face lit up with a wolfy-grin.

I smiled back, waving. And the gang filed out, little Claire bringing up the rear.

-- -- -- --

_OK. So I think my next chapter is going to be all Seth, killing off two le—vampires, killing off two vampires. Maybe I'll do a Vampire Point of View, but I'm not sure. I like to mix it up sometimes. And then Anna goes home! And then the next week, she gets her chemo! Chemo will be interesting chapters. Someone has to fill up all the time that it takes to receive it!_

_Love, Allie_


	19. BOOK ONE: NINETEEN

_M' kay. SO, I apologize for not getting a chapter up yesterday. I was extremely busy in real life, and I had to teach a bunch of hopeless kids how to ride quads _and_ after that, keep them from _crashing_ said quads. Yup, so I'm sorry. OH! And I was thinking of adding some stuff from Breaking Dawn, since it's set far back enough so that I can do that (a few years after Eclipse, actually) so tell me what you think. If you DON'T want me to, and majority rules out, I will gladly send you a copy that doesn't have any spoilers in it. There will be no spoilers in this one, though, even though there is a spot for one of them that I can think of right now._

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Werewolf**

**(But is he Bald? Dun dun dunnnn!)**

We all had to cram into the back of Embry's pickup truck — did everyone in La Push have one? — and man, was it crowded. I moved a scoot over, trying to give Leah some room. In the process, I fall over onto Collin and/or Brady. How am I supposed to tell the difference? Amazing, how Emily and Mrs. Clearwater got the entire _other_ pickup to themselves, and yet the _pack _had to _share_ one. Where's the justice? Nowhere. Quil ate it, along with my breakfast. Yeah, that's right, he _ate it_. I got a bagel — not as good as Emily's — and he snatched it out of my hands, broke a piece of for Claire, then _ate it_! It took a lot of self control not to phase right there. And then what does he do? He rubs my head, and says, "Make a wish, baldy!"

So now I'm sitting in the back of a pickup, illegally, mind you, and I have three people rubbing my head.

"Come on, jackpot lottery," murmurs Collin.

"Puh-lease...puh-_lease_...Wii for Christmas, Wii for Christmas..." Brady had always been materialistic...and video game addicted. And _girl_ addicted. It got annoying, him thinking about my sister..._that way._ When she was popping through clothes, just like the rest of us... Now, I'd seen her..._that way_, before, but I was her _brother_, for crying out loud! And then I had to share a mind with other guys and their sick fantasies with my sister? I mean, she took care of them and all, but...

We never got pulled over. Not once. Once we were inside La Push, I could hear Claire in the front of the car, jabbering on about how _good_ her bagel had been and that she wanted another. "Thief," I muttered under my breath.

"Jealous, bro?" asked Leah.

"No! She just —"

"Stole your breakfast. I know, squirt. And you're jealous! Of a three year old!"

Suddenly, Claire was looking out the back window. What the heck, did she have supersonic hearing?

"Thwee and a _hawlf_!"

"She knows, kiddo, she knows," chided Quil, who was up there with her in the front. "You get to go to Mrs. _Clearwater's_ house today. How does _that_ sound?" _He _made it sound like the most exciting thing ever.

"Fun, fun, fun..." chanted Claire.

Quil sighed. I knew how he felt about the imprinting thing. Us guys who'd already imprinted were all in a kind of loop. Me, Jared, Sam (Sometimes...he could get bossy. And kind of mean...), and Quil (who got overly worried about his imprint. As did I...)

-- -- -- --

The entire pack, I realized, was not necessary for this job. We probably would only need to werewolves to do this, but we all wanted a piece of the action. Rolling out of the back of the car, I threw a quick glance to Quil and Claire, who were walking up the steps to my house. Running into the woods, I shed my clothing — awkward, when there are three other guys doing the exact same thing, and two more already naked, plus your sister with her back turned to you, looking all embarrassed — and felt around for the heat inside me, which had always been sort of hard for me to find. Pulling it out of the center, I let it spread around, taking a running start. Dodging a tree, I heard someone bark a laugh as, in a last attempt, I pulled the cord on my leg and tied my jeans — and shirt, unfortunately — tight around my ankle. Feeling the sudden sense of not being real, the split second between boy and wolf, I took a breath. I always did, though I didn't know why. And then I looked down at my paws, and my vision was different — wider. And I was no longer Seth. I was the sand-colored werewolf.

_Aha...haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! _Raucous laughter from Embry as he caught sight of me.

_What?_

_Dude, you're all peach-fuzz!_

_What? Crap! _It hadn't been my hair that was sand colored, it'd been my skin. Or at least the color the fuzz had made it look like. I really shouldn't have shaved my head. Really, really, _really_ shouldn't have shaved it.

There was laughter from the rest of the pack that had already phased. Even Sam was chuckling. Jared was laughing his head off with Sam, and Collin and Brady had my picture in their heads, so I could see how truly bad I looked. Really, really bad.

_OK, guys, enough,_ said Sam.

But Jared kept laughing.

_Enough, Jared,_ said Sam, giving him a little hip-check. Jared winced theatrically.

_Fine. But that barber did a number on you, buddy. _Jared coughed a laugh.

_Sam, where did you take down the female? _asked Embry curiously.

_Due east of where you are standing, _answered Jared for him.

_A little more northward, though. _We all got a mental image of the pillar of smoke. I was aware of Leah and Quil joining us.

_What'd I miss?_ Quil was still thinking vaguely of Claire. This reminded me of Anna, and I felt a gnawing in my stomach. What if something happened to her while I was gone?

_Seth, she's fine,_ soothed Leah. Amazing, one of the rare times she was kind or nice to me, and she was talking about imprinting, a subject that usually got her all worked up. I'd thought she would be jealous of me for imprinting.

_I hope so..._

_Seth, Quil, and Embry, skirt around the normal perimeter. Jared, you'll stay with me. The rest of you, head due east. We'll all meet around and see if we can't find her mate. If she had one..._

_The bitch,_ swore Paul.

_Jeez, man, keep it clean! _He could never just say "God, I hate vampires." No, it always had to center around them being the bad people. He couldn't have clean, nice thoughts about them. Almost every one of them had a swear in them.

_Sowwy, did I offend da wittle bay-bi?_

_Shut it, Paul. Concentrate._

Quil, Embry and I went along on our merry way while the rest of the back went in the opposite direction. With my luck, they'd be the ones to find him. Why couldn't I ever be in the group that found the vampire? And how come Collin and Brady had gotten to go with the group that would surely find the mate?

_Because Sam wants to keep an eye on them, _answered Embry.

_Hey!_ came Collin's head-voice. _I can still hear you!_

_We know, we know. _Now, Quil imitating Collin. _Oh my gawd, I can't stop thinking about _Lee-lee_!_ He said the name with that ooey-gooey voice. _She looks so hawt naked!_

_Quil! _Sam was pretty mad. I could tell why he would be. _Lee-lee_ had been his girlfriend at one time, and _he_ had called her _Lee-lee._

_COLLIN, YOU PERVERT! _Leah was in full out anger mode she made a lunge for Collin.

_Leah, stop! _Sam's voice was commanding — this was an order. Leah skidded to a halt.

_Why should I? He's exploiting me _in his mind_!_ She was really PO'ed.

_Because I ordered you to,_ replied Sam, his voice strained, his words dictated with anger and frustration. And laced with a gentle hurt, and some sadness thrown into the mix. Sam and Leah's relationship within the pack was always a strained one.

_Fine. You live to see another hour, Collin._

_Leah!_

_What? I'm following orders..._

Then I caught it. The scent of a vampire, male, about a half a mile away from here. Sam caught it in my head.

_Found him?_

_What? I don't smell any—wow, yeah, he's here, _agreed Quil quickly.

_Move in, we'll be over momentarily._

_Sweet!_

I dashed ahead of Quil and Em-em — _I head that, squirt! _— and got a visual on the vampire. Long blackish hair, dark eyes. Ready to feed. He saw me too.

He screamed out something unintelligable that sounded vaguely like French, and then started circling us. Great, was every person I met going to be French?

_Yeah..._ confirmed Embry, coming around on the vampire's side.

_Come in on a triangle angle...thing-y...and then move in, and start ripping._

_Got it, squirt._

We each got a point of the triangle, moving with timed synchronization. The vampire had no chance.

_Heeeeeeeere leechy leechy leechy... _

_I wish you wouldn't call them that, Quil._

_But these _are_ leeches, Seth. _

_But according to you, so are the Cullens!_

_...so?_

_Whatever! Move it._

I lunged in first, grabbing hold of his arm. At least I couldn't pull a Jacob and get crushed because he put his arms around me. But was this a newborn? I didn't know...maybe I'd ask Edward over the phone sometime soon. He would know, right?

Ripping it off, I flung it off to the side. _That's our pile. Got it?_ Man, it was cool being in charge!

_You're not in charge, Seth. _Embry was always a bubble-popper.

_Still..._

Embry was next taking hold of the other arm. With a metallic screech, and a vampire screech, it came off, and, to spite me, he threw it in the opposite direction of the arm. Quil was next and he went for little chunks of the chest. We all went in after this, just a scuffle of fur and marble. And then — poof! — vampire rubble.

_Jeez, you couldn't leave us some action?_

Leah was first to arrive. Being the fastest in the pack, she surveyed the scene.

_Nope. He saw us when we saw him, so we had to —_

_Yeah, save it for the judge, _thought Collin, coming up with Brady, who was cough-snickering.

_Good job. Anyone have a lighter? _joked Quil.

But Sam wasn't kidding. He tossed me the lighter.

_I'll watch the pieces. Everyone else can go. Seth, phase back, then light it up. I'll put them in a pile._

_Sure, Sam._

Ducking into the cover of the forest, I sucked back the head into a neat little ball, again, taking a running start. That split second, I breathed out, and poof! I was naked Seth. Pulling on my shorts — I shoved the shirt into my pocket, because, thank god, it was deep enough — I ran back. Sam had all the pieces in a nice pile, but it alarmed me that a few were twitching.

I set fire to the pieces, and then the sickly sweet aroma engulfed me.

"Gah, can we go?" As I said this, the great black wolf phased into a man, who quickly pulled his shorts back on as I pretended to be interested in the purplish smoke coming from the remains of the vampire.

"Sure, you can go. I don't want to start a forest fire, though, so I'll meet you back."

"Oh, no, I'm going back to the hospital."

Sam looked at me funny. "How long are you going to stay there, Seth?"

This confused me. "As long as Annabelle needs me...why?"

"Seth...I know she's your..._imprint_ —" why did he say the word with such hate and revulsion? " — but you did have a life before her."

"But...she...she needs my moral support. And my physical support! She's so wobbly, and sometimes she says she see's double. She needs me, Sam."

"She has her parents!" Now he was getting mad. "Seth, the pack wants you home. Your mom wants you home. Leah _misses _you, Seth. She wants you to —"

"Let my sister speak for herself!" He was getting on my nerves.

"What about me?"

I turned and saw Leah, running through the trees.

"Nothing, Lee..."

"Oh, no, I heard my name, squirt. What's this about?"

"Sam..."

Leah quirked a brow. I could tell she was sort of happy that I was finally taking her side and getting irked with Sam, but touchy because she didn't want to argue with him and give him another reason to hate her.

"He said you missed me, and wanted me to come home from the hospital."

"What? I said no such thing. I miss you, bro, but she's your _girlfriend._ Stop putting words in my mouth, your Alpha-ness." She looked at me, but the words were directed to Sam.

"Mom said you were doing what you had to do. But she'll be back to visit sooner or later, because she found Anna's mother _quite enjoyable,_" she went on, the last words up in a high tone that mocked my mom's. "And I will be, too. Anna's pretty cool, from the, oh, thirteen words I exchanged with her."

"OK."

And then it was awkward. "C'mon, Seth. Mom wants to say bye before you go back. And she...er..._baked_ something for Anna's family."

"_Baked?_ But mom _cooks_. She never even baked me a birthday cake! We always got one from the store!"

"Well...I don't know. It looks kind of..." she restarted the sentence. "I think that it's...brownies? Maybe? I don't know! Lets go."

She towed me along after her, and I could tell that she was happy that we were on good terms again. Never had I been so friendly with my sister since I was around ten. And now we were buddies again, now that we had a common enemy: Sam Uley.

-- -- -- --

_Sooooo...did you like it? I like feedback, remember that!_

_Love, Allie_


	20. BOOK ONE: TWENTY

_Here it is! Yup. Oh, and I put ALL of the scents together. You'll see later on in the chapter what I'm talking about. I tested them, so they actually do smell good. Especially Anna. That's my favorite... Nothing to say here..._

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

If I looked out the window, I was positive that I would see the minivan rocking back and forth. Back...forth. My..._GOD._ Did they _want_ to tip it over?! Like jackrabbits... bunnies..._ teenagers._ Ugh, it was horrible to try to think of my dad as a teenager. My mom — that was easy. Just think about her without the wrinkles — she had the personality nailed. Dad? God. He already acted fifty-five and a half. He had frown lines... Did they exist? He was always so serious! He didn't really smile much...now he was going to get laugh lines. Back with my mom. After they were divorced. What a love story, their daughter dying, they need each other more than they thought! And when the daughter dies, which was a probability — no, a priority, in this story, they get remarried, and name their first kid together after whats-her-name? Oh, Annamaria. OK.

Staring at the wall, I willed my hand to itch to the remote. It was done for the day. I didn't feel like doing much of anything. I wanted to know if Seth had...killed the vampire. I wanted to know if he'd gotten cut, burned, whatever they did. Sucked dry... I shuddered. No, he was stronger. Better than that. I'd be the one to get sucked dry. That was me, un-careful, unconcerned with myths until my life was pretty much turned into mythical-being-central. Vampires, werewolves...what next, unicorns? Loch Ness Monsters? Was Frankenstein his own species, too? Anything was possible.

Suddenly, my hand was wide awake. Maybe my own thoughts of the Loch Ness Monster and Frankenstein and vampires and unicorns had scared me into watching TV. I'd always hated Dracula and such...

And what should the TV flip onto?

Dracula.

"Oh, God, oh, GOD..."

I flipped to a harmless station — Disney Channel. Some kind of cartoon was on. I could dig this.

"Ah... The Playhouse..."

"Huh?" I turned to see a doctor with honey blonde hair and eyes to match staring back.

"Mickey-Mouse."

"Ooooh."

"So, Seth was..."

"Worrying?"

"Precisely, and he asked me to check in on you."

I smiled, but then quirked a brow. "How do you know Seth? You don't look like you live around La Push..."

"My family are very friendly with Seth," explained the doctor.

"Oh, well, I'm Anna."

"Dr. Cullen."

Something should've clicked, but it didn't.

"Now, to make him feel relieved, I'll check your vitals. You look fine to me."

"I feel fine to me, too."

"Oh well, you never know."

He crossed the room in two strides — fast, much? — and held out his hand for my wrist. I let my arm fall into his grasp, but shuddered. "Wow, you're kind of..."

"Cold?"

"Yeah...that about covers it."

He had a smell on him that I couldn't explain. It was...sweet. Like a cotton candy cologne. But what did I know? Maybe I was delusional.

"So, is Seth off with the pack?"

Whoa, whoa, _whoa_, back that train _up._

"Wh...what? How...how did..."

"Oh. He must not have gotten to that part of explaining yet. I'm a vampire, Annabelle."

I could've fainted. He was that close to me, probably about to suck my blood, and I could have fainted. I should have screamed, but instead? I fainted. I really did.

-- -- -- --

"Her vitals are still the same..."

"They are?"

"They are, Seth."

"Lee?"

"She'll...she's fine, Seth!"

I blinked, and three faces came into view.

"Anna, Dr. Cullen is a good vampire. He doesn't...er...drink, people. It's animals for the Cullens." So there were more...grand. "You can tell by the eyes...see?"

His eyes were honey, just like before.

"Oh...OK... Leah?"

"Hey, Anna."

She was holding her nose.

"Why are you —"

"Smells like vampire in here."

"Where are my —"

"Still rocking the car," answered Seth. He had an odd look on his face. "Steamy."

"Ugh..."

"Are you hurt?" Always so concerned.

"No...just...shocked. I didn't think I'd be the patient to a vampire. Sorry, Doctor, but it just..."

"Makes you uncomfortable?" finished Dr. Cullen.

"A little. But now that I know that you don't...leech people dry, I'm a little better."

"Good to know. Well, everything seems in order here. I'll be going now..." He looked calm as he gave a little salute/wave (one of those half-handers that could have been a spasm) and walked out the door. Perfectly doctor-ly.

"OK...that was worse than you telling me you're a werewolf."

"Well...I forgot to mention about that..."

Oh god. "What?"

"So is Leah."

Leah gave a little smirk, waving like a five year old. I laughed.

"Not nearly as bad as telling me that a vampire was my doctor...wait, did he operate on me?"

"No, no," Seth reassured. "Besides, blood doesn't bother him."

"Um...really?"

"Really."

"They still stink," put in Leah.

"I thought he smelled nice...sweet, I guess." I blinked. Like cotton candy...

"Sickly sweet."

"She's right, I don't like the smell much either. I like your smell, but now you smell...gah."

"Oh? My smell? I have an odor?"

He laughed. "Well, your nose isn't strong, so you wouldn't smell it, but it's like... wet soil, and vanilla, and mint, and maybe grass... It sounds cliche, but it's so _good_."

Leah laughed. "I think she smells like lettuce. Just me, though... You do smell nice..."

I'd always thought Leah was bitter... Or, at least, the way I'd heard the guys talk about her, she seemed mean. Now she just seemed...nice, actually. Funny.

"I wish I could say you smell nice, too, but I can't. I don't have that good a nose. But when I get really close, I can smell the woods... Is that what your smell is?"

"I guess," said Seth, taking a whiff of himself.

"Seth, you smell like the forest and pears," declared Leah.

"And you, my sister, smell like the woods, and maple syrup. But not the sticky kind, the kind that comes straight from the tree, before you boil it."

"So I smell like sap?"

"I guess..."

"Do I really?"

"You do."

"Sweet."

I giggled. "I wish I could smell that..."

"I wish you could smell you."

The conversation bombed at that point, and we went on to talk about little things, like what our favorite smells were. Small talk. And then we watched Mickey Mouse Playhouse. Which, when you think about it, wasn't that bad. Pete had me fooled, for sure...

-- -- -- --

_So...who liked it? Say "Aye!" if you did. Or "I!" because I'm not sure which one is which. But, the only way you can do that is IF YOU REVIEW! So click the little blue-purple button. Give some love, he's a little stiff! Oh, and yay! 214 reviews! Boo-yah! And a question: __**GAH! SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ UNTIL THE BOLD STARTS AGAIN IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED BREAKING DAWN!**__ If I wrote a story — on the side, of course, because this one is my main priority — about the Irish Coven (ie; Siobhan, Liam, and Maggie) would you guys read it? Just wondering. __**SPOILER OVER! RAWR! GO FINISH BREAKING DAWN! **__OK! All good._

_Love, Allie_


	21. BOOK ONE: TWENTY ONE

_OK. I apologize, again, for not getting up a chapter yesterday, but there was a reason. I had to find my muse. Yup, I just couldn't bring myself to write yesterday. I've come to the conclusion that this story is getting too long. So this story has got, now, Twenty-one chapters. I think we need to do something about that. No, I'm not quitting the story — have faith in me! — but I'm splitting it up into books. These books will stay on the same story, so you don't have to go anywhere else but here to read them. But it will just give me clarity and separation. So, this is the last chapter of the first book, which won't be labeled, and the second book will start with a little break between the stories, I guess. It'll be labeled by a '- - -' so you know, now. OK? Long author's note, sorry about that. Here's the last chapter of Book One!_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

"You're free to go."

Four simple, simple words. And yet, they totally did their job. They set me free.

"I...really?"

"Yup." Doctor Tamblin was my new best friend. Not because her boobage had suddenly shrunken/deflated, but because she had just said the words that, in my language, said, "You can go home." There's no place like home, there's no place like home. Mom and Dad were done rocking the boat, so they were happy, too.

"Yay! Did you hear that, Annabelle? You're going home!"

"No Mom, because I _just_ went momentarily deaf. I didn't hear a word the doctor said."

Leah snickered. Yes, she had decided to stay. She and Seth were sitting opposite my parents, on the other side of my bed. Leah was, actually, really, really fun to be around. When she wasn't getting PO'ed at you. It was embarrassing, because, really, she was the first _real_ friend I'd ever had. Yesterday we'd done wheelchair rides down the hall. Yesterday, I had still been wheelchair bound because I was still wobbly. Today? I was going home. The question? To which home was I going to?

"Anna, that's no way to talk to your mother."

"When can we leave?" I didn't need to hear my father defend Mom.

"Just as soon as I..."

"Check me out? Is that what it's called?"

"I'm not sure. But sure, I'm going to go check you out —"

"— _WOW_, Mr. Winston. That sounded a little bit —"

"Aw, shut up, Leah!" I wasn't sure if Seth liked Leah and I hanging out, or if he was getting sort of ticked by our new friendship. Anyway, our hands were still interlocked as he sat next to the bed. I used my free hand to rub the new peach-fuzz growing on his head. I refused to let him shave his off like I'd done mine. _I_ needed to get used to my baldness. _He_ needed to grow his back in. In the four weeks I'd been here since his hair was shorn, it had grown a little. About half of an inch, actually. Of course, his hair had grown faster than mine. Mine had grown a quarter of an inch before I shaved it again. I had slow hair. It probably would never grow back to the length it had been.

Leah gave Seth a little punch in the shoulder. Well, he made it _look_ little. In reality, she was punching him hard. And he was taking it easily. Leah's punch would have easily snapped through my arm... That frightened me, but at least it was good to hang around people all stronger than me. Lots of protection. Too bad they couldn't protect me from tumors or cancer...

"Think you can walk?" Seth asked, concerned.

"Walk? I can _sprint_."

"Lets not," put in my Dad, alarmed at my eagerness.

"Oh, let the girl run!" My mom and my dad. Disagreeing. Maybe they would stop their little car rendevous if they got into a fight.

"She doesn't need to...not yet."

"I guess you're right..." Damn!

Seth gave me his other hand and helped me out of bed. I was overly excited that I didn't have to be helped into a wheelchair — no, I stood on my own two feet. In the last couple days, I had experienced double vision, but today Seth's body only had a faint shadow of it's invisible counterpart. I smiled, thankful for that. It could be terribly disorienting.

Leah smiled. "No more wheelchair races, I guess."

"Guess not," I replied, feigning grief.

She put her hand over her heart. "The good ol' days, gone..."

We both laughed, and Seth rolled his eyes, but he was laughing a little. Or at least I thought he was.

Walking down the hall, I could hear my parents murmuring, to soft for me to hear.

"Hon?" my mom finally called.

"Mmm?"

"You...can you have Seth and Leah take you home?" Oh...my...god. _Crossing the line, Mom, crossing the line._

"Why?"

"We need to work out...arrangements."

"Oh? What kind?"

"Oh...you...y'know...arrangements..."

"_Very_ descriptive. Bravo, nice adjectives!"

"Oh, shush."

I sighed. "Fine. Then I'm going quadding with them."

"Wh — whoa, what?"

"I deserve some fun, right?"

"Sure," interjected my dad. Wow, he was...agreeing with — oh...jackrabbits.

"B-but —" My mom exchanged a look with my dad, then comprehension flickered across her face. "Fine," she mumbled dejectedly.

So my parents walked up to the desk at the front of the hospital, and I didn't miss the fact that their hands were twined almost as tightly as Seth and I were. Great. Just _perfect._

"Well, you heard the girl! Lets get going," said Leah, grabbing my free hand and tugging me along.

"C'mon, Seth!" I said, towing him after, creating a train — werewolf, human, werewolf. I was surprised I didn't break.

-- -- -- --

Yes. Quads.

"Why does Embry have seven quads?" I asked curiously as Seth hopped onto the back of the ATV.

"Something about his Uncle, proving something about success to his mom. He sends Em tons of stuff. Do you want to sit in the front like last time? Maybe the back would be better, in case we dump it again..."

"Fronts fine," I said lightly. I just wanted him to start it. "Can I dr—"

"No," he said in a dismissive tone.

"Why can't I drive?"

"Know what? How about you get on the back. Maybe it would be easier..." He was really nervous. I couldn't argue when he was so anxious about this. Settling into the back, I wrapped my arms around him, soaking up the warmth. Yet again, it had rained. Horrible, rain was horrible. And I was cold because of it, so I squeezed tighter. Seth let out a breath, so I took this chance to wrap myself more closely around him. He tried to suck back in, but stopped.

"This is nice," he commented.

I laughed. "It is. You're warm."

"Can you love birds keep it down and ride?" Leah yelled from her quad, revving it up. It was, obviously, still in neutral.

I stuck my tongue out, and Seth caught it with two big fingers.

"Aha, what do we have here?" he asked.

"Ufin." Nothing was not a good word to say when you had your tongue caught between two warm fingers. Waaaarm.

"Your tongue is very cute," he added, letting me go.

"Ugh, your fingers taste funny."

He laughed his deep laugh. "Sorry, it's not caviar..."

"Ew. Fish eggs..."

And then he was there, with my dreaded, overly, helmet.

"God, do I really need it?"

"Yes. Especially since the doctors told you to _take it easy_, and I don't consider this kicking back and relaxing." He placed it lightly over my head. Then he lifted the visor. "See? Not that bad." He angled his head and pecked me lightly on the lips.

"I have no aversion to the visor...it's the helmet that bugs me. Because when I do this," I paused to clunk my helmet into his head, "I can't reach you anyway."

"A little deprivation is good for you, Anna."

I shrugged. "Sure."

He switched the yellow quad into gear, smiling wildly. That was when we heard the truck.

"Embry!" Seth called. "Wanna ride?"

Embry grinned, going into the little ramshackle shed and pulling out a massive quad.

"Say hello, Anna, to _the Grizzly._"

"The grizzly?"

"No, no, no...the _Grizzly._"

"...thats what I said."

"No, you said," he paused, clearing his throat, then in a cheap rendition of my voice — "_the grizzly._"

"Yeah —"

"Don't argue with him, Anna. You can't win," Seth sighed.

"OK, OK..._wow_," I gasped as we lurched forward. My head clunked into the back of his. "Sorry..." I murmured.

"Are you OK?"

"Fine," I sighed. "Stupid helmet..."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Fuzzy Werewolf**

"Yay! We didn't crash...yet." Her voice came from behind me, like a chorus of bells in the middle of spring in the afternoon warmth during — wow, I needed to get a grip. She was my girlfriend, and I had to accept that she was mine. She always had been. I'd learned, just recently, that she'd never had a boyfriend.

"And we won't. I'm being careful this time. One last jump?"

"Sure. We'll crash on _this_ one."

"Fine, we can go back right now —"

"No!" Anna practically shouted. I grinned, turning around to see her, pulling my hand closed on the break.

"Say we won't crash."

"Fine. We won't crash."

"Good," I said, gassing it. We sped forward, towards the dirt mound ahead. Leah cheered. I felt a stab of annoyance. Thinking it'd be nice for them to be friends had been a little mistake. I mean, I loved my sister, and they'd have to be friends _someday_, but why _now_, when I was still getting to know my future wife. Wow, that sounded bad. But still!

We didn't hit funny, but we didn't land square, either. The ATV wobbled as it touched on the two side wheels, and I shifted quickly over to the left to even it out. We squared after that, riding smoothly.

"Ready to go?"

"Sure," she mumbled. "I just don't want to _walk in_ on anyone."

"Oh... I get ya."

"Isn't that supposed to be _us_ that _they're_ walking in on?"

Whoa. That was a little...unexpected.

"I guess, but I don't think we should...not right now."

"Oh, I know, I was just speaking metaphorically."

"Oh, OK."

Embry hooted with laugher, and Leah joined in. "Someone's hormone driven, and it's not Leah!" he laughed.

Leah shut up immediately. Embry had gone over the line. She punched him, hard, in the shoulder, making him wince, and then stormed off. Embry sighed, knowing exactly what he had done. "Catch you later, I have to go apologize to your sister."

"See ya," Anna and I chorused.

"What was that all —"

"I'll explain later," I promised, driving her back to the shed.

"Promise?"

"Do you need one?"

"I guess not," she said, taking off her helmet and leaning in. "Ah," she sighed. "Much better."

And it was.

-- -- -- --

_So...all done with book one! Comments, questions, concerns, compliments? I love them all! _

_So review! Not that the button is getting stiff or anything — you guys are so good with reviewing anyway. And I thank you for that. So thanks!_

_Love, Allie_


	22. RECESS

_Arg! Intermission...or whatever you want to call it. Prelude? I've got no idea... I'll find a name for it, mark my words! So, here is where I'll explain stuff. Yeah._

-- -- -- --

**So...She's author...ly?**

"**Sure. Why not?"**

_So...We all know that Book one was Anna and Seth and going through surgery. SO, what might Book Two hold in store for you all, you may ask? Chemotherapy is also a big part of this story as a whole, and thus, Book Two will center around Anna's journey through recovery and needles. It will also center around Anna's time in between Chemotherapy, and thus will be broken up into months. I'm thinking there will be four chapters to a month. Each month, she will go through a Chemotherapy regimen. Yes, it will suck._

_Majorly._

_But she will have to learn to deal with it, and thus forth come SETH! -cheering in the backround- I am planning major things for this book, such as — gasp — VAMPIRE SIGHTINGS! Grahwr...like the word? I do, too. I realize that this may PO a bunch of people, but you may see less and less of Seth Point of View. I'm REPLACING HIM! Naw, just kidding. But I want to explore Leah Clearwater more, so there will be lots of Leah Points of View. You shall see her in the second or third chapter. First Chapter will be purely Anna. _

_Now. I'm trying to decide on where I'm going with this._

_This is where..._

_...you come in._

_Love the..._

_...drama?_

_Me..._

_...too._

_Done with that. So! If you have any ideas, such as several people with the Cancer songs, which I have yet to put into a chapter — I'm working on it, all of you! — or if you find anything interesting that you might want me to add, DO NOT HESITATE TO _TELL_ ME! I love reader participation! So, if you have any plot ideas — side romances, stuff like that, death -cough- — tell me. It helps me with the musings I have every night for what I'm going to do with the next chapter. Yes, I muse. Your point? _

_So... I'm thinking of waiting till tomorrow to dive into book two._

_Don't eat me...?_

_Thanks for reading through this!_

_Love, Allie_

_PS: I figured out what I'll call it — _Recess. _It works._


	23. BOOK TWO: ONE

_Here it is! Yay! Book two! Mostly dialogue in this chapter, but yeah...it works. Lots of stuff to talk about, you know!_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

Ah... Home and in my own bed. It felt nice to curl up with Louis again. I did tend to feel stupid, cuddling with a teddy-bear, but that didn't change the fact that I had missed him. My room felt foreign, since I hadn't been here in so long. And it was, now that there was a dog bed in it. Yup, dad had "agreed" to let Freddy stay with me. It was only so that Grams didn't have to watch him while my mom snuck in and out every night. It would be nice to have some sleep, but _no_, the parents didn't value their daughter's sanity. Without sleep, I was a loon. And what could _possibly _keep me from sleeping?

_Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang._

It was so rhythmic — and disturbing, mind you — that it should have put me right to sleep.

Save for the "sound effects".

I never thought I'd have to learn that my mom groaned.

And my dad was the "silent type".

Sick. Sicksicksicksicksick!

I rolled over, and thought of picking up the house phone and calling Seth's cell phone. Too bad I didn't have one... But then I decided against it, clutching Lou tighter to my chest.

"My mom is a bad person," I whispered to him. "She's going to give my dad a heart attack! He's never had so much action in his life..."

It was nice, not having someone answer you when you talked. Even if it was an inanimate object that _wasn't_ talking. But I had to admit, my dad was more agreeable since they got closer. He had decided that in a few months I could get a cell phone. And he'd completely supported my decision to stop dancing. I knew that I wouldn't have the time — ahem, _four to five hours _— to dance, nor the energy, so I stopped. It was a simple, simple thing, and now I had other things to occupy my time. Like a certain overprotective werewolf.

"God, why can't you just climb through my window again?"

"Just did."

"HOLY —," I clamped my hand over my mouth. "God, I _hate _it when you sneak up on me!"

Seth laughed, climbing nimbly through my window.

"Do we need to keep it down?"

"Nope, they can drown us out," I assured him, scooting over on the bed to give him room. The minute he took a seat, I felt two things. One was the enormous groan that came from the bed on account of his size — massive, I tell you, MASSIVE! — and the heat he omitted. I could feel my face flush with color as the heat took me.

"God, you could fry an egg on your arm..."

"Oh, am I making you hot? Ha ha," he chuckled at his own words, seeing the double meaning.

"Keeping it in context, yes."

He laughed again. "Jeez, your parents are loud..."

"You're telling _me_."

_Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. BANG, BANG, BAG! BAM!_

"They're...er...into it."

"Yeah...tell me about it."

"I'd rather not." Scooting closer, I embraced the heat, putting my arms around his bare ones. My flannel pajamas didn't block out the head. They warmed at his touch. He had a hard body... _Abs_, my mind breathed. _Shut it_, I reprimanded myself. But they were so...oh my god, I could bake on him. _You pervert!_ shouted the sane half of my mind. But the other half, the half that had given up on self control and purity of mind a long time ago, was listing foods I could prepare on his belly. _Eggs, bacon...COOKIES! Think of the cookies, my lord..._

"Anna? Are you asleep?"

"Huh?" I muttered, sleepily.

"Maybe you should sleep," he suggested, stroking my baldness.

"Maybe I shouldn't...you might get bored..." I might snore. My dad always joked about it, but I didn't want to test it out on Seth.

"Watching you sleep is probably entertaining. I bet you roll around. You seem like a restless kind of person."

"I'll have you know that I stay in one place the whole night!"

"Riiiiiight," he droned.

"Murmph," I groaned.

"Mu...murmph?" asked Seth, trying to imitate my noise.

"Murmph!" I persisted.

"Of course, how could I have been so stupid?!" he said, feigning distress.

For a moment, I though he had actually had some sort of epiphany. But then I watched him quirk a brow and smirk, so I squeezed tighter.

"Don't hurt yourself," he joked, but there was real warning there.

"Ow. You're hard," I complained.

"Well, you're soft — wait, squishy," he corrected.

It was totally natural, this fake-bickering. It would have been perfect if it hadn't been for the _bang, bang, bang_ of my parents' bed against my side wall.

"So, how's the paaaack?" I said in a sing-song voice.

"Good, good. Dull, I guess. There haven't been anymore vampires from what I've seen. It was only the two, and we got them. But I have a feeling there's more... There has to be, I mean. It's scary, and that reminds me — don't go in the woods. You can die."

His sincerity surprised me. He could protect me, right?

"Scandalous!" I laughed. **(A/N: That's for you, .smile-big.xx! Hehe, **_**scandalous**_**, lol.)**

"What?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"No, no, I'm serious. You could get hurt..."

I tapped my head. "Um. About that..."

He sighed. "_More_ hurt. Dead hurt, if I didn't get there fast enough."

"Or at all. Who says that you'll know?"

"I'll know in here," he said very seriously. I leaned my head into his chest. Then a little question popped into my head.

"Did you use the ladder?"

"What? Oh, no..."

"How did you —?"

"Another day, I'll tell you."

My ear was burning, but his heartbeat was very close, and it sounded in my ear. Our hearts were almost in sync — almost, but mine was a millisecond later than his. I held my breath, and the moment his heart lapped mine, I breathed.

"What are you doing?" asked Seth curiously.

"Getting us in tune," I replied simply. It _was_ a simple concept — two soul-mates, two beating hearts together, one mutual love. It was the way the story was supposed to go, right?

"Oh." I could tell he was confused, but he didn't push the topic.

"Seth?"

"Shouldn't you go to sleep?" he asked worriedly. Like sleep had anything on him.

I ignored his question. "Do you think chemotherapy will hurt?"

He paused. "I — I don't know..." He sounded upset with himself, so this time, I figured, it was my turn not to push the topic. But the question lingered on my brain, somewhere near the sight of the tumor-that-was-no-more, or almost no-more. Apparently, there were about three-billion cancer cells left — 3 of my tumor. I couldn't even count that high. How badly would it hurt when I got the needle in, the drip down, and the fluids inside me, killing my good cells, and my three-billion bad ones. Would I puke all day? Would I stop loving Seth? Would my head be on fire? Or would I just die, right then and there?

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I'll be fine. I'll take whatever they give me."

"You're — you're not afraid that it's going to hurt?"

"I know I'll be fine."

"But you're so..._breakable_," he moaned.

"But I'm stronger on the inside than I am on the outside..." I promised proudly.

"Are you sure?" He sounded so small as he said the words. It was my turn to reassure — to be strong for _him._

"Positive," I lied.

He didn't seem so sure. I patted his arm. "I promise."

"I feel like a five year old," he complained.

"You feel like a five year old? I'm like little one, and _I'm_ the one hanging on _you._" I poked him in the arm, and I felt my knuckle crack.

"Um, ow?" I complained, shaking out my hand.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah, just cracked a knuckle. God, I hate that!"

"Really?" asked Seth. He freed one of his arms from my vice — not — grip and then the other, and began cracking his knuckles in neat little popping noises. I groaned, covering my ears.

"You're really something else, boy."

"You're really pretty," he said, not skipping a beat.

And then we were making out. Wow, the word sounded weird coming from me — making out. Didn't that lead to...? Not tonight. Not yet. Tonight was my _Mom and Dad's_ night to score, no matter how gross that sounded. But our day would come. And for now, I was happy breathing in his woodsy, Seth-y smell and totally sucking face with his warm lips.

Bliss — one synonym, in my book.

And his name was Seth Clearwater.

-- -- -- --

_Yay! First chapter of book two is DONE!_

_Love, Allie_


	24. BOOK TWO: TWO

_I'm really, _REALLY_ sorry that this took so long. I was at my Grammy's — yes, the psychotic one — and then I visited a friend and stayed overnight. It was all fabulous, but I missed writing this story. So, enjoy the chapter! Oh, and this isn't set right after chapter twenty-three. It's set the day before Anna's first Chemotherapy regimen._

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

The warm on my back told methat he had stayed.

Last night, he'd had some trouble getting through the window, so I had to open the front door. My mom had stopped staying the night before, so my dad was sleeping, and I wasn't sure if he would wake up, but I'd opened the door up and snuck Seth up the stairs. He hadn't made a sound, and it was really _him_ helping _me _up and keeping me quiet. His hands never left my waist, guiding me gently through the near pitch-blackness. Of course, he had been able to see better than I had, but still, it was nice that he kept me from tripping.

I rolled over gently, repositioning myself to look at his face. His eyes were almost closed, with a tiny, tiny slit at the bottom. I wondered if he was awake and just faking sleep for me.

He let out a sharp in-take of breath, and then his eyes opened quickly. He looked at me, and then the door.

"Get under the covers," he hissed.

"Wh..."

"Just do it, please..." he trailed off, and I was suddenly aware of footsteps coming from the hallway.

He deftly hid under my bed — I'll never have any idea how he fit — a second before my doorknob turned and my dad opened the door. I peeked out of one eye, feigning sleep. My mom was behind him.

"See? Nothing," she assured him, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"But I was so sure I'd heard something!" he breathed.

"Now, now..." she soothed, leading him away from the door, giving a look over her shoulder, and then sweeping it shut.

It was a few seconds before Seth resurfaced. "Phew," he breathed, giving me a goofy grin.

I smiled. Is this what it was like to be married, only without the sneaking around part? To wake up next to someone you love? It would be nice, then, if — _When_, said the hopeful part of my mind that was pulling through for a full recovery. It was a very small, unused part of my mind — we got married. I would use that little image to help me through my Chemo.

Chemo...

The thought scared me, and even though Seth was right there, looking at my face, I grimaced.

"What's wrong?" he asked not a second after.

"Nothing," I lied. "I just thought my mom was at _her_ house."

"_Oh_."

I had been told that the initial shot wasn't painful — some said it even tickled on the websites I found — but the_ after_ affect was what I was worried about. Sure, I was a bit nervous about sitting there for four to five hours with a needle in my arm — despite all the IVs at the hospital, I still hadn't gotten over my fear of needles — but I was more nervous about the fatigue, puking, and all of the other horrible things that came along with chemotherapy. I could lose the feeling in my fingers and toes for the duration of the treatment. I could loose my hearing. There were so many things to worry about. _It might not even work._ That was the scariest, because if my tumor kept growing, despite the chemo, then I was as good as dead. No, I _was_ dead. And so was Seth...

I was about to say, "Promise me something." but Seth sat up in bed. He wasn't under the covers, but the movement still shook the bed.

"My shift," he explained.

"Oh," I breathed.

"I'll visit later. And I'll be there tomorrow," he promised, as if he'd read my mind about the promise-thing. But he'd promised the wrong thing.

"OK. I love you," I whispered.

"Love you, too," he vowed, and then opened the window that had been stuck yesterday.

"Just takes some man-power," he joked lightly before jumping from my window.

I got out of bed and leaned over the window. "Yeah, some freakish man power," I called lightly after him, as not to disturb my parent — parent_s_. He would hear.

I hear a barking laugh, and then a coughing, wheezing sound that continued the laugh into the sandy-wolf that was my boyfriend.

-- -- -- --

_The Next Day_

**(A/N: Wow, I didn't have anything creative for that...)**

Seth had promised he'd be here, and he kept his promise.

Great.

Not that I didn't want him there, but it had been the _wrong promise._ I needed a different promise to get me through this, not that he promised he'd be there every step of the way!

"Hi Anna," he greeted kindly, kissing me on the lips. It didn't matter to him that my dad was standing right behind us. After breaking the kiss, he looked down to my father, who was a head shorter than him. "Hi Jerry!"

"Hey, man," said my dad. He was trying his best not to explode — I could tell from his excessively twitchy left eye. Seth didn't notice.

"I'll drive behind you, then," said Seth, as if it had been a question.

"OK then," answered my mom, appearing behind my dad. _Clingy, all over him... _Several not-so-nice names for my mother popped up into my head. I didn't voice them, but I should have.

"See you in a bit, Seth," I said.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Fuzzy Werewolf**

"So...do you have any fours?"

She looked terribly uncomfortable, and so I handed over all three of my fours without a word. The needle was sticking out of the crease in her arm where her elbow was, and she winced every time it moved. Every time she winced, I did.

"Yes," she breathed, smiling, then wincing. She looked pitifully back at me, forcing the smile again. "That's all the fours. Sweet."

"Mmm..." I sighed, clearly distracted. I hoped she wouldn't notice. She had enough on her mind to have to worry about me, too. I watched as the IV dripped a painfully slow rhythm. One hour down, three or four more to go.

"Seth?"

I blinked.

"Seth?" she prompted, waving her cards in her free hand.

"Oh. Do you have any...sevens?" I knew very well she didn't, because I already had all of the sevens.

She sighed, putting down her cards. "You don't have to let me win."

"I know." I should have said, _I'm not_, but it felt wrong to lie to Anna, especially in the current situation. The fluid in her drip was clear, I noted. So I could pretend there was nothing inside it — just air in a bag. She could be getting acupuncture for all I knew. Yes, acupuncture. Relaxing, healing acupuncture. Painful, acupuncture...

"Stop worrying about me. It doesn't hurt or anything. Just the needle is a bit..." she winced again after making a move with her left arm to brush hair out of her face. I beat her to it anyway, tucking it behind her ear. "Uncomfortable," she finished.

"Well, your parents will be back soon, so that's something to take your mind off it, I guess."

"This game of cards _would_ if you stopped letting me _win_ so easily," she hinted, then quirked a brow.

"Fine. Lets start over," I said, sweeping up her cards. Back and forth, I dropped us each seven cards.

"I thought we were playing with five...?"

"Seven," I corrected, grinning. She laughed, and didn't wince afterwards. This wasn't so bad.

"How many cells do you think are dying right now? I mean the bad ones."

"All of them," I said automatically. She laughed again.

"I'd like to think so." She sounded much more mature, with that IV in her arm. Maybe she knew the world that was waiting outside was going to be a heck-of-a-lot worse now that she had that cisplatin or whatever inside of her. Maybe because she knew she was getting better? Or that her hair had no chance of coming back anytime soon now?

"Me, too."

She leaned over the table and kissed me.

"I liked that," I said, a little bewildered.

"Me, too," she agreed.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Bald**

I made Seth stay at his house to sleep tonight. I mean, what if I woke up and barfed all over him? He'd just hold my hair back and apologize for not helping me to the bathroom. Then he'd pull a mommy-move on me and get me new sheets. _And_ wash my old ones. It'd make me feel bad. So I told him to give me the night so that he wouldn't see that. He seemed a little down about it, but still, it was necessary. I yawned, taking a deep breath and rolling over onto my stomach, holding Louis close to my heart — he was no substitute of Seth, though. Blinking, I closed my eyes.

_Let the games begin._

-- -- -- --

_Yay! I updated! I'm proud of myself. Yez._

_Love, Allie_


	25. BOOK TWO: THREE

_Yay! Here it is — post chemotherapy! This is set two (three) days after the last chapter. Tell me if you like the quotes — I stole them from my other story, PERFECT CLARiTY, which I have yet to update. _

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Puking her Brains Out...**

**...and She's **_**Still**_** Bald.**

"**Damn. You have to keep bringing that up!"**

I kept hurling. Over and over and over...

But then something funny happened. Well, funny wasn't really the word for it — I couldn't even conjure up anything funny — odd was more like it. I didn't have anything left. I couldn't puke any more. It was two in the morning, two days after my treatment (Actually, three because it was two in the morning, but still...), after I'd been taking my nausea medicine regularly, even in the brief spells — _very_ brief, about an hour, the morning after my first night home after getting the _poison_ that was killing my _good_ cells, my _innocent_ cells, as well as the _damn brain tumor cells_ — where I felt good enough to actually down something. I was empty. My stomach was churning, but there was nothing to churn. I sighed in relief, wondering if I would be able to stand. But then my mom came in.

Holding a water bottle and some crackers.

"No — no, I can't eat anymore," I said with the energy I had reserved for sitting up. I flopped back down.

"You need _something._ At least take the water, dear," she pleaded.

"Fine," I said, taking the Poland Springs water bottle and sipping with little baby lips that I'd trained myself to use when consuming anything. It all had to be slow — if I did anything too fast, I would retch. Again, and again, and again... Stupid nausea... Stupid vomit... Stupid cancer. "Where's Seth?"

"Oh, honey, you shouldn't call him... He's probably asleep..."

Oh, no he wouldn't be. He'd be up, because he wasn't here. I imagined the sandy-colored wolf, running around in the forest. Probably driving everyone crazy with his thoughts — I'd only recently learned that the others could hear him think. He was probably running patrols. Maybe they were having him make up for the lost time he'd spent with me. Yes, time lost, because pretty soon, if this kept up, I'd be a lost cause.

"Yeah...asleep... At least _he_ gets the option," I mumbled feebly. I wasn't sleeping well, either. I was sleeping, though, fitfully before the puking spells came on.

"Oh, shh," my mother soothed, patting my head. My bald head. _You win, cancer, what do you want? _She sighed. "_Try_ to eat the cancer. Do you want me to stay with you?"

I nodded weakly.

"OK. Let me go wash this out. Ring this —" she pulled out a little bell from her robe pocket. It tinkled as she moved it, " — if you need to puke and I'll try to get there in time. If I don't, aim for the floor."

The hardwood floor, where it would be easy to clean. My poor mother. I felt bad about all of the jackrabbit comments, because both of them were being so attentive to me. I felt guilty, laying there.

"I'm going to be right back," she promised, as if I hadn't heard the first time.

"OK."

My lamp was on, so I stared at the shadows it cast across my belongings while I awaited my mother's return. Everything had a glow to it — even my dewy skin. Man, I needed a shower. Too bad I couldn't stand without a) collapsing or b) puking everywhere. Maybe I could give myself a sponge bath or something. Or just rub my face down with a wet rag. God, I felt filthy. I had to remind myself that I'd taken a shower the morning after my first chemo treatment, before all of this had started. That it had only been, what, a day? Two? I couldn't even count it right. I hadn't the energy.

A few more seconds passed, and I heard her coming up the stairs. Her footsteps faltered, though, as the doorbell rang. She huffed, then called to me.

"Annie? Are you going to be OK for a second? I should go get... JER!" she called in the direction of my dad's room. I heard a sleepy mumbling.

"Don't wake dad up," I called with meager strength.

"OK, fine. Ring the bell if you need me!"

"Mmm..." I sighed, wondering who would be ringing the door at two in the morning. No, it was three now. An hour had passed, I guess. No, it was two thirty, I corrected, looking at my digital clock. Time seemed slower when you were emptying yourself into a metal pop-corn bowl. My ears detected faint argues downstairs.

"You could have called." My mother.

"I wanted to see her, though." ...Seth. My heart leapt, and my instincts took over. Reaching for the bell, I rang in little fast jerky movements. The conversation halted. Then I rang faster — I actually _did_ need the bowl. Stupid sip of water! GAH! Heavy footsteps charged up the stairs, and I knew Seth was beating my mom. Maybe she was still washing the puke out of the last container. Poor mom...

My heart burst when he got through the door. Well, not literally, but I felt like it would. Seth, in his glory, with rainsoaked hair. It had rained? I mentally kicked myself — of course it had rained, I lived in one of the rainiest towns in America. And he had probably walked all the way. No, ran.

"Seth," I breathed, then snatched the bowl out of his big hands. Turning away from him, I shoved my face in and let it all out. It had waited until there was somewhere to put it — I was proud of my puke. Or of me. Maybe I was just waiting for Seth.

"Hi, Anna," he said, a little shocked.

"Hold on," I said, and my voice echoed in the bowl. It reeked, but I tried not to breathe as I waited for any remainder. That had been my first mistake, and I'd sprayed the sheets. God, this was gross. Sickening. I wondered when it would stop. Maybe I'd ask Seth to look it up for me. I wondered if he had computer. Jeez, I had a lot to ask him. Like why he came here to watch me puke.

My mom appeared at the door. I was sitting up, and her face rose up. It was an improvement.

She sort of hip-checked Seth out of the way, then fluttered helplessly before me, trying to find something to do. She'd never been so attentive. Attentiveness...that had been my dad. And now she had decided to play mommy. I should have felt betrayed, but I didn't. It felt nice, that my crazy mom was taking charge. Even if it meant butting Seth out of the way.

"Ugh, Seth, I really would rather you go home..."

My mother's face lit up.

"But..."

"I don't want you to see this," I pleaded.

"You heard —"

"Mom, stop," I ordered. Wow, me ordering my mom. Some things never change. It had always been me telling my mom what to do, me being mommy while she played unruly, wayward daughter. I mean, she was trying, but most things tended to stick. And that was just one of them.

"Anna," he said, a little more forceful. "I want to help."

"You can help by turning around and coming back in the morning."

"It is the morning," he retorted.

"Fine, stay."

Was this our first fight?

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Fuzzy Werewolf...**

**...And he's Currently Hovering over his Puking Girlfriend.**

"**Shut it."**

I felt bad. A little.

Staying here against her will, I meant. That made me feel sort of bad. It made me feel worse that I couldn't stop the puke, that I couldn't make her feel better. That I couldn't make her mom _stop shoving me out of the way._ Next time she pulled that little hip move...

"Fine, Stay," she said hotly.

"I will," I said softer.

She sighed. "Stubborn boy."

"Pretty girl."

She smiled. "You're not very good at this, are you? This fighting?"

Her mother clearly felt out of place. I didn't feel remorse for that. What, did she think we were going to kiss? I mean, I would have liked to, but I knew Anna didn't feel up to it. Darlene wrung her hands nervously, looking at the bowl under Anna's arm, then to me.

"Do you want me to clean it out?" I asked. I would willingly.

"Yes. Please."

Her voice was taut. She wanted to talk to Anna. Alone. Fine.

Grabbing the bowl, I touched Anna's skin. Clammy. Cold. And it had a little warm edge to it as I took the bowl and went downstairs.

Seizing the sponge, I walked over to the sink and tried not to think about what I was scrubbing. Instead, I listened. I listened to Anna's heart, her mother's heart, and Jerry's heart. Jerry's was strong and slow, Darlene's was quieter, but a bit faster, and Anna's hunkered out a broken, weak rhythm. It was because she was panting. I could hear that, too. Her mother was speaking quietly, but I could still hear it.

"Anna, could you please tell him to go home? He's not doing anything..."

"He's scrubbing out my puke down there, and you want him to go home? That's devotion down there, mom. And I thought _dad_ was going to have a hard time with Seth. Look at you!"

I could tell she was looking at her mother.

"You're so overprotective. When did you decide to start playing house? When did you decide you wanted to play Mommy, who takes care of the sick daughter? Was there a time?"

"No," I heard Darlene mumble. I looked down at my hands, only to discover the plate was clean. But I couldn't go up. Anna was having some sort of epiphany.

"Seth." I was alarmed to hear my name. "I know you're done. You can come up now..."

I sighed. Pretty girl. Pretty _smart_ girl...

-- -- -- --

_Ooooh, confrontation! Hope you liked it!_

_Love, Allie_


	26. BOOK TWO: FOUR

_OK, so I'm sure your tired of waiting for this, so here it is! Yay, next chapter!_

_**Warning — this chapter contains Breaking Dawn Spoilers. If you haven't finished, PM me and I will PM you a version of the chapter without spoilers.**_

_PS: You guys, if you're a weepy bunch, might want to go grab a box of tissues. Yeah. Just a warning._

-- -- -- --

**So...He's Afraid to Get Between**

**Agitated Girlfriend and Hostile Mother.**

"**What's new?"**

That night had been awkward. _Very_ awkward. I'd sat there and held her hand while she...barfed, and then handed the bowl to her very angry mother who would go down and clean it. Darlene wasn't very pleased with either of us. What was I supposed to do? She wasn't _my_ mom, and I couldn't blame Anna for sticking up for me. Well, I mean I could — I didn't want her to get into a fight with her mom over me — but I didn't have the will power to. She was already stressed as it was, and she didn't need any more drama.

So I was the peace bringer.

Ironic.

_Because_, I also happened to be the one who ripped apart human-eating vampires at the seams...

I would _pay_ someone to explain that to me.

"Seth?" She sounded dry. Raspy. Like her throat had gotten burned.

"Yes?" Her mother and I both answered at the same time.

"Seth, I think I'm done," she said, sounding relieved.

"No more?"

"I don't th — " she swallowed. "I don't think so," she continued. "Just kind of nauseous. And..."

"And what?" Darlene beat me to the punch.

"And my legs feel like jell-o. Ugh," she said, pushing at one of her legs beneath her blanket. It did a tiny little flop and then settled back into place.

"Are you hungry for anything?" I asked before Darlene could open her mouth.

"Ravishingly hungry. Just like before I started puking, and while I was puking. And I'm hot."

_Yes you are,_ I thought happily. But then I actually realized what she was talking about.

"Do you want the air o—"

"Yes. And the windows. Its like it's in_side_ of me."

She _was_ warm... Well, not to me, but maybe to her mom. Not feverish warm...just hot warm... It was odd, but we'd checked for fever. There wasn't anything not-normal to report — 98.7° F, which was pretty normal. Anything above 100.5 we were to report.

I walked across the room to help Darlene open the blinds, then the windows.

Anna sighed when the breeze crept over her. "I'm still warm, but it feels nice."

She sounded so different — again, more mature. Older.

"Can someone get me some cereal? Mom?" She said pointedly, looking at the door.

"Oh, right." She sounded like she wanted me to get the cereal, but Darlene didn't protest.

"Seth," Anna said the minute she left the room. "I'm really glad you stayed."

"Me, too," I grinned, then grimaced, thinking of the night. She let out a little giggle, but then something dawned back onto her again. Her face grew serious.

"But you can't come back again."

Ouch. My stomach twisted. She didn't want me here. Physical pain. I winced. Rejection.

Rejection — she didn't want me.

Rejection — she didn't _need_ me.

Rejection — _I had to be here_.

"Wh...what?"

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Rejecting Her Boyfriend...**

**...and is **_**Still**_** Bald**

"**One — I'm not _rejecting_ him!**

**Two — I am bald by **_**choice.**_**"**

"_Wh...what?"_

Oh, god, how could I ever do this? I wanted to throw my arms around him and say that I didn't mean any of it, that I wanted him to stay here, but I couldn't. Because this was the right thing to do. Because I meant every word. Because he _couldn't_ come back again. He was a human being — not a _machine_, that could do anything and everything. I couldn't watch him lose his brothers and his _real sister_ — who had a fond spot for me, surprisingly — because I'd gone and gotten a brain tumor. Because I sat here, now, festering in chemicals...

"You can't come again. Really, I mean it," I said when he shook his head.

"Please, think about it a little more," he pleaded.

"Oh, I have. Seth, you had a life before you met me. You still _do._ And you're wasting it, sitting here when we're _all_ sitting here just _waiting for me to die._"

"Anna, don't say that." I waited for him to add please, but he only mouthed it. Or at least that's what it looked like.

"_Why not_?"

"Because you're being kind of stupid."

My voice took on a harsh tone. "Oh yeah? And you're being kind of jerkish. Go."

And my eyes stung and my voice was breaking and my arms and legs were hurting and aching and wanting to wrap around someone warm and hard and tough and I wanted to be comforted. And yet I still meant every word I said.

When he didn't move, I spoke again. "Now."

Now it was his turn to feel bad. "Anna, I didn't mean that —"

_I know_, I wanted to say. "Yes, you did."

_You're a bad person, a bad, bad, person, Annabelle Winston. Horrible, mean, unforgivable..._

But I couldn't give into my raving thoughts. I'd had my mind set for a while.

Seth Clearwater couldn't be a part of my life.

Then it hit me:

I'd never be Mrs. Annabelle Lisa Clearwater.

I could die.

-- -- -- --

**So...He Just Got Rejected**

"**..."**

**What, no snappy come-back?**

"**Too depressed."**

After I walked home from Anna's — actually _walked_ — I sat on my bed. That was all I could think of doing. There was nothing. _Nothing. _Leah stopped up a few times, looking for something to do — looking for me to say something. My mom came up, too. I really hadn't seen much of her lately, but that didn't mean that I was going to come out and speak again. I ignored Leah's call — _Leah,_ whom I had always woken up — for patrol. I ignored my mom's quiet knock on the door. I ignored it when she left me a tray of breakfast. What did they know? They were women. All of them. Leah could probably relate, because she was a werewolf, but not one of the humans could relate to what I was feeling. No one in the history of imprints and imprinting had ever been rejected by their imprint. Emily had eventually come around, Kim had been ecstatic, Claire couldn't be happier with Qwiw, her new pway-mate... Heck, even Renesmee — the vampire spawn — owned Jacob Black. They all _wanted_ to keep their guys around.

Not Anna.

Not Anna. Had she ever loved me? What were all of the kisses, the hugs, the holding hands? Oh my god, I never even got to know her.

_Stop that, Seth, it's not like she's dead._

She wasn't dead. I was.

I hadn't known her for four months and now my life was over.

Finite.

_Demolished._

"Seth?"

She'd called me Seth.

I turned to the door, and there was Leah.

Tentative and shy.

Wait — Leah was neither tentative nor shy.

But it was her.

"Seth?" she ventured again, moving forward. I sat on my bed still, cross legged, staring at the wall. "Seth, she's a wreck."

She...Anna?

"Huh?" I said, an expression finding it's way to my face.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Miserable**

"**Yeah, about that..."**

I'd curled up into a ball and let it all out.

I'd wailed.

I'd moaned.

I'd cried.

I'd _sobbed._

And then I'd wailed some more.

But it didn't help.

Not one bit.

"S-S-S-Seth..." I sobbed into Louis. "I'm...so...such...a... horrible person!"

"Annabelle," my mother soothed. "Annie? This can't be good for you..."

"Dumping _Seth_ wasn't good for me..."

I was a horrible person.

I was a lonely person.

And it was my fault.

-- -- -- --

_Ooooh, I'm a horrible person! Don't hurt me..._

_Love, Allie_


	27. BOOK TWO: FIVE

_I've got some sad reviews, so I'm going to say something: I _DO_ have a reason for that chapter! It was sad, but I think that Anna's been way to brave, and Mary- Sue- ish, so she needed to do something stupid. Yeah. Don't hurt me!_

_WARNING: There is swearing on Anna's part in this chapter._

_Love, Allie_

_-- -- -- --_

**So...She Needs to 'Man Up'**

"**??"**

"Anna?"

"Let me sob in peace."

I said dryly into my pillow. They were only dry sobs now, so I could talk without blowing snot everywhere. The thing was, I didn't have anything left. There was no water. I was out of tears. It should have made me feel good, to know that I got it all out, but it didn't. It made me feel like I'd gotten _him_ out.

I heard the footsteps lead away from the door.

I'd gotten _him _out.

And that was the worst thing I could think of.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's Suicidal**

"**Werewolves can't commit suicide, smart-one."**

**Well, you want to.**

"**Cliff Diving isn't exactly suicide."**

So this hadn't worked out exactly the way I'd planned:

The plan was, I would go to the cliffs, jump a few times, try to get my mind away from Anna.

It didn't go down that way — that much was obvious.

Because now I had my arms pinned behind my back, two angry/confused werewolves flanking me, and an angry pack-leader rambling about "priorities" and how "she'd come around".

So it'd gone like this:

I'd gone there as a werewolf, stupid me, and Sam had heard my thoughts. I had been vaguely aware of someone's presence, but I hadn't payed much attention. When I'd gone to the cliffs, Sam and his patrol of three had followed me — Embry and Collin had been with him — and confronted me. Me, stupid, headstrong me, had gotten kind of pissed — you'd be too — and jumped. Sam had jumped in after me, obviously thinking that I was aiming for somewhere hard and pointy, and had aimed his shoulder into mine, pushing me into the water faster. Wonderful, thanks Sam. We'd both gotten wet, and now I was being escorted back to my house.

"Sam," I tried to reason. "I was just clearing my head. I swear."

He stopped mid-rant, looking at me from around my shoulder. "Why should I believe you?" he asked harshly.

"Because, do I seem like a suicidal person?" Seth Clearwater, suicidal maniac. Suuuuuure.

"Imprints do a lot of things to you. Suicide at rejection is just one of them. She _will_ come around, Seth."

"You don't know Anna. She's so _stubborn._"

"So was Emily. Know what? _You_ go talk to _her._"

"Sounds like a plan — but she doesn't want me there."

"She has to. Like I said, she _will_ come around."

"Whatever..."

-- -- -- --

**So...She Wants To Die**

"**Must you state the obvious?"**

Ow.

There were multiple reasons I wanted to die. Two were clear in my head. One stuck out.

Seth Clearwater.

Chemotherapy — or a Malignant Brain Tumor.

My parents had crossed bridges to try to get me to forget about one or both of those reasons. I was now the proud owner of an Envy phone, equipt with texting, ring tone selection — I was told specifically to "buy any ringers you want" — VCast Music, and lots of other accessories. Not that I had anyone to text, anyone to hear my ringtones, or anyone to listen to music to with. Wonderful gift, thank you.

Freddy was even benefitting from this. The little white Pomeranian now had a tricked out, fluffy bed, a rhinestone collar — "Mom, Freddy is a BOY dog." — and my parents were debating a girl-dog for a companion. He had it all. It wasn't right. What had he done for it? Nothing. What was I...oh, that didn't work for me. I'd dumped my boyfriend. My future husband.

Sleep was the only thing that didn't make me want to cry. It was a calm, quiet place in the back of my head, though horribly evasive. I hated not being able to sleep off the sheer exhaustion that came with Chemotherapy. It was unbearable to think that I had one free week, then another round. It was even more unbearable to think that this time I'd have to sit there alone. Or with my mom. Dad didn't have any sort of tolerance for needles. Worked out _wonderful_ for him.

"Anna?"

Joy. Another gift.

"Anna, do you think you can make it down the stairs?"

Wow. A request. I supposed that if I could make it to the bathroom, which was right next to the stairs, that I could push a little and make it down. Then I could veg out a little, maybe watch TV. I'd been out of it for a while — it was Friday, and I'd gotten my first Chemo Round on Monday. I'd missed a bunch of the Beijing Olympics. Maybe I could still catch the Rhythmic Gymnastics...

Rising out of bed, I stood there for a moment, shakily. "Yeah, I'm good," I called down to my mother.

"Do you think you can hurry?" she sounded overly anxious.

"I'll try," I called back. She wanted fast, I'd give her fast.

Stumbling through the door, I took the shortest possible route to the stairs, not bothering to lean on a wall before I started going down. Clutching the rail hard, I took the stairs one at a time, resting both feet on one stair, inching my way down. I wasn't ready for regular stair-walking.

From my spot on the stairs, I could see my mother standing at the door. I could hear my dad in the living room, obviously watching some kind of sport on the TV. There were men at the door, and they towered over my mom. I picked up the pace, a little alarmed. My mom couldn't take a punch.

"Anna," she sighed, putting her arms around my shoulders to hold me up. "These, um, _boys_ are here to talk to you." La Push boys.

Seth.

"Um...hi?"

"Can we talk alone?"

Seth. Oh my fuck, Seth.

"Sure," I mumbled, all my will power crumbling. Seth, in the front of the boys, Seth. I resisted the urge to throw myself at him — whether I hugged him or punched him hadn't been decided — as I followed him outside. His friends stayed behind and started to chat amiably with my mother. She seemed to warm up to them a little, as far as I could tell as I walked away.

"Anna," Seth started when we stopped on the side of the house, by my window. I closed my eyes. "Anna," he started again.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

The only thing I could manage to speak was, "W...what?"

"For everything," he clarified. SO much clarity in those words, eh?

"For _nothing_," I corrected, feeling the familiar tears of hurting him well up again.

"Whatever. I didn't come to apologize."

"Oh? What did you come for then."

"To promise to not leave again."

"What if I tell you to?"

"Then I won't." He sounded absolutely positive of this.

"How do you suppose you'll manage that?"

"Anna," he pleaded, but I was done with resisting anyway. I felt angry-sad-happy-fightingover tears welling up in my eyes, and then I was sobbing into his chest.

"I'm — so sorry —" I wailed.

"Don't be, you're fine, you're fine," he promised, smoothing my hair.

And I was fine as soon as he said the words.

-- -- -- --

"Damn! Evgeniya Kanaeva won!"

"Um, Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"That's who we're rooting for."

"Oh... YAY! YES! I KNEW SHE WOULD WIN!" he roared, clapping and dancing around. We were sitting on the couch while my mom and dad ate dinner. Seth and I would eat later, because I was parked on the couch and my dad had a strict "No Eating on the Couch" rule. Only he didn't know that I constantly ate ice-cream out here and watched TV when he wasn't home.

I laughed harder than I had since I'd gotten chemo — maybe it was the first time I had laughed since chemotherapy. I wasn't sure. "Nice," I commented.

Our relationship was easy as ever, and I was thankful for that.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be this strained during the _next_ round of chemo...

-- -- -- --

_Yay! So they're back together! I figured if I went another chapter with them broken up, you guys would demolish my house. So yeah. OH! And I picked out a song for this chapter, because it's been stuck in my head all week. The song iiiiiiiis:_

Fall For You — Secondhand Serenade

_Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Its my favorite song for now until I find a better one. Yeah. I have decided that if Seth was a rockstar, he would sing this for Anna. Yeah. Only the first verse is a little wonky for them. The thing about fighting could only just BARELY work because, c'mon, they've been in, what, one fight? But the rest of the lyrics work. Yeah._

_Love, Allie_


	28. BOOK TWO: SIX

_Yay! Update!_

_That is all._

-- -- -- --

**So...She's on Her 'Good Week'**

"**Yes! Can you say Cliff-Diving?!"**

**Cliff Diving**

"**That's what I'm talking about!"**

I was in the clear. When Sunday came, I felt OK. Finally. It was nice, to feel nice. I decided that I would eat something. And it wouldn't taste like puke!

Yeah, it wouldn't taste like _puke_.

Rising off from the couch where Seth, me, and my dad were watching the morning news, I walked into the kitchen, my toes squeezing the linoleum floor I'd missed when I couldn't stand to look at or smell food. "Hey, Mom," I greeted. "Whatcha makin'?"

"Breakfast," she said. "Do you want some? My pancakes are almost done."

"Sure," I said, grabbing a paper plate out of the cupboard and letting her slap on a fluffy-looking pancake. Without bothering to syrup it — I was too horribly hungry — I popped it into my mouth and started chewing.

I immediately regretted it.

"EW!" I said, opening my mouth and letting the barely-chewed pancake flop onto the plate. I wiped the excess from my tongue. "OMG, what did you do to it?!"

"What did I do to it?! I did the same exact thing I always do! Honey, what's wrong?" She said, fluttering over me helplessly. God, did she _always_ do that? I mean, be helpless all the time?

"It tastes like metal," I complained.

"But, there's not even iron in it!"

"What?! You put iron in your pancakes?!"

"No, its something they have in cereal."

"There's metal in cereal?! Won't eat that again..."

"It's a mineral, Annabelle."

"Oh... What do we do about the metallic pancakes?"

Seth was behind me. "What about magnetic pancakes?"

"_Metallic_," my mother corrected. "She says her pancakes taste like metal." I was pleased with my mother and Seth's progress. She was treating him less and less like a parasite and more and more like a son. It was a sugar-sweet thing, with no bad points.

Only _metal_ points.

"I'll call Dr. Tamblin."

"Oh, god, can't you just call, like, one of the surgeons?"

"No, I can't, honey."

"But, but..."

"But what?"

"She's so..._blonde._"

"Oh, Anna..." she sighed, and held the phone to her ear, which I hadn't even caught her dialing for the image of Doctor Tamblin's face...and bust, before my eyes.

"Anna?" Seth put in, whispering quietly into my ear, "You're blonde."

"NO! No I'm not, I am BALD."

"Hello, can you put me through to Dr. Tamblin?" My mother threw us a 'children, close your traps' look as she addressed the receptionist. "Thank you.

"Hi, Doctor Tamblin!" she addressed the doctor cheerily. "I'm fine, thanks, it's Anna who's not so great. She tried to eat this morning because she was feeling better, only there was this metallic taste in her mouth, and she couldn't swallow one bite because of it. Mmmhmm...Yeah..._Really?_ How will she eat? ...oh, mmm... OK... Thank you, Doctor...You have a good day, too... Buh-bye."

She clicked the phone off.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"It's a common side effect — we just need to find food that doesn't give you that taste..."

"Oh, how will that work?"

"Well, we can look on some cancer blogs —"

"Nooooooo..." I moaned, cutting her off. My mother and her blogs.

"What?"

"Blogs aren't the answer for everything, Mom!"

"WELL THEY HELP!" She retorted hotly.

"God, fine, we'll go "blog"."

-- -- -- --

"I want to go cliff-diving."

"I want to stop blogging, but thats probably not going to happen soon. You're sick, Anna." Yeah — _I_ was stubborn.

My mother had left the room, and the minute she had done so, Seth and I had started closing out some of her blog pages. She had ten or eleven windows open, looking for tips on what to make. So far we had saltine crackers with no salt. Amazing, because I _totally_ wanted to live on un-salty crackers. Jeez, was salt that bad? Salt was my favorite out of salt and pepper. Pepper was just too...peppery. And yet it said in one of the blogs that "Lots of pepper could help mask the metallic taste!" The world hated me.

"I'm sick. So what if I die? You'll feel guilty about not taking me cliff diving when I asked. Maybe I need to make a list or something... Like those guys on 'The Bucket List'. I didn't see it or anything, but it worked out for them, right?"

"Anna, you don't need a list because you're not going to _Darlene_, you're back," he finished, smiling up at my mother. It would be the only chance he had to smile _up_ at her, because he was half a head taller than her.

"Yup. So, did you find any—hey, where'd the one go?"

"Which one?" I asked, fighting back a smile.

"The one...with the yellow font..."

"What yellow font?" Seth put in, obviously fighting with his cool, too.

"The...the one...y'know..."

"No, I don't know. Are you sure it was there?"

"Y—no..."

"Maybe you should lay down or something, Mom. You look kind of..."

"Peaky?" Seth suggested.

"And pale," I added.

"Oh...OK...I'll be back later, though. We're not done with this!"

As she left the room, Seth and I exchanged a look before he muttered, "Fine, go get dressed."

-- -- -- --

**So...Anything to Get Out of Blogging?**

"**Anything."**

**Even Taking Her Cliff-Diving?**

"**Even taking her cliff-diving..."**

Damn, I'm weak.

"I want to go on my own this time."

Not that weak.

"Nope."

"_Nope?_" She dragged out the word so that it barely sounded like a question. No-ope. "What do you mean, _nope_?"

"It means no, Anne," I said, giving her little hand a squeeze, hoping she'd leave it at that.

Stubborn Anna.

"Well I say _yes_," she announced, skipping forward. I suddenly wanted to keep her this positive. She had been very pessimistic lately, and now she seemed so happy-go-lucky. Maybe she'd accepted she'd be OK?

"Anna," I said, my worry winning out. "You could get hurt." I knocked my chest. "Werewolf." Catching up with her, I tapped her on the shoulder and she stumbled before I caught her wrist. "_Human._"

"Boy," she said, putting her finger on my chest. "Girl," she said, pointing to herself. "Who wins?"

"Me," we both announced.

"You," I muttered.

"Thank-you."

"Just kidding," I said, snatching her hand.

"Oh yeah? Wait till it rains," she murmured.

"What does rain have to do with anything?"

"It doesn't."

I stood there pondering that while she ran ahead.

"What now?" She said, and then I realized where we were. NOT at the cliffs. At _a_ cliff, but not, _the_ cliffs. She stood with her back to the rainy-looking horizon.

"Anna, you're not at the right spot," I informed her.

"Suuuure," she sang, smiling brightly at me.

"Anna, please, just come down."

"Why? Let me jump alone!" She smiled wider, letting her left heel sneak over the edge. I let out a nervous huff of air.

"Anna, please. Come down, these aren't where we jump."

"One..."

"Anna." I took a step forward. She inched her right heel farther back.

"Twooooo..."

"Anna, there are pointy rocks down there!" I stepped forward faster.

"Three!" And she slipped backwards.

I did a few things simultaneously. I made the biggest leap of my life, I wrapped my arms around her, and I did one of those little mid-air flips and turned her to the top. I heard her mutter something like "geddoff" but I couldn't really hear it. I was a little preoccupied with the rocks below us. In a matter of three seconds, though, we alluded the rocks and hit the water. It was brisk on me, so it must have been freezing for Anna. Especially since she had a shirt on so she wouldn't get sunburned. Wow, sun in La Push. A fascinating proposition.

I was under the water for three seconds, Anna four. When my head bobbed to the surface, I wasn't shocked to find it was raining.

"I guess we couldn't wait until it rained, or you'd be dead," I smiled, but she was scowling. "What?"

"I want my hair back," she murmured.

"Huh?"

"My head is cold..."

I laughed, grabbing her up in my arms.

"You don't need hair to be warm," I smirked, pressing my cheek to her head.

She giggled. "I guess not. But if you have your face on my head, how can I kiss you?"

"You can deal with a cold head."

I pressed my lips to hers.

-- -- -- --

_Yay! Its up. The song for this update? (I think I'll do this for every chapter from now on)_

_Broken — Secondhand Serenade_

_Because I'm going on a Secondhand Serenade rampage..._

_Reviews are nice — remember that._

_Love, Allie_


	29. BOOK TWO: SEVEN

_Huzzah. It's up!_

-- -- -- --

**So...Her New Diet Consists of:**

**1. Saltine Crackers.**

**2. ...there is no two.**

"**I really didn't need a reminder..."**

**Well, SOMEONE'S Pessimistic.**

"**..."**

I watched Seth carefully as he brushed the salt off of the cracker, popping it quickly into his mouth. I heard the faint sound of protest as his stomach groaned loudly. He needed real food — not chemotherapy food.

"Seth, you're allowed to raid my refrigerator, you know."

"Huh?"

"Yeah." I said tilting my head in the direction of the kitchen. We were sitting at the diningroom table, and there was a pile of salt the width of a quarter and as tall as Seth's fingertip between us. So, in truth, I had discovered that Saltine Crackers really didn't have all that much salt to them. Interesting.

"No. I'm sticking to this diet." He reached for another cracker, but I slapped his hand away.

"YOU can eat normal food. Know what? Eat. Now. These are MY CRACKERS. You have OPTIONS. So...go get a pizza or something, please. Sorry," I muttered as an afterthought.

"S' fine. I'll buy my own."

I let my forehead bang on the table.

"If you're going to eat them, we'll share. But the point is, you don't _have_ to eat them."

"But I'm going to."

"Yes, I figured that..."

He reached for another cracker, but then another thought came to my head, and I smacked his hand away, harder. My fingers throbbed in protest after the deed was done, but I ignored it.

"Go eat at Emily's," I said.

"Aw, Anna —" he started, but I pressed my hand over his mouth.

"Now, before you starve to death. And while you're over there, run a patrol or two. You're needed elsewhere."

"Ugh, fine..." he trailed off, looking at me like I'd just kicked seven puppies — it was a look of horror and maybe a little frustration. No, a look like I'd just tread on his flowers. Seth would have saved the puppies. "Bye, Anna," he said.

"See you later, Fuzzy," I said, lightly casting my eyes to glance at his hair quickly.

"Who told you."

"Embry."

"Damn him..."

My fuzzy werewolf stalked out of the room while I giggled guiltily.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Fuzzy Werewolf...**

**Who's Starving.**

**And his Secret is blown.**

"**It wasn't really a secret..."**

**Oh well.**

"**Aw, man. Embry has to pay."**

"Hey, look, it's Seth! Hiya, Seth!"

"Shut up Embry."

"What's wrong?"

"I hate you."

"Wh — oooooh... Look, I thought she knew!"

"Sure," I muttered, stalking past him, where Quil sat with Claire in his lap. She giggled at my growing-in hair, and Quil roared with laugher at Embry's and my exchange.

"Hey, Quil," I asked before starting into Emily's house. "Is Sam in?"

"Just inside," he said, trying not to choke on his words.

"OK."

-- -- -- --

"So...what you're saying...is..."

"That Anna wants me to do pack duties again."

"I thought you were going to spend more time with Anna," he put in.

"But she wants me to have a life, so here I am."

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Positive."

"Alright. You can do a patrol with Quil tonight. Go eat," he suggested. I was all too happy to oblige.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Having a Sleep ver?**

"**No, I'm **_**going**_** to a sleep over."**

**Really?**

"**Really."**

"Uh, Leah?"

"Hi Anna," the receiver sounded. "I was just wondering...me and Kim were having a sleep over, and we wanted to know if you wanted to come."

"A...a sleep over?" It sounded stupid, but I'd never been invited to a sleep over.

"Yeah. So, are you in?"

I knew Leah could turn up the mean-quotient on her attitude with me at any time — I don't know how I got on her good side in the first place — so I agreed. "Yes, I'll come."

"God, you don't need to be so proper," she scoffed.

"Fine. Yeah, home dog, I'm in!"

She cackled, and I laughed to. She was pretty easy to be friends with. I wondered when Kim came around — and why Leah was getting close to all the imprints.

"OK, I'll come pick you up around seven o'clock. Have your stuff ready!"

"Alright. Leah?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

She laughed. "You're very welcome, Ms. Annabelle," she said in her rendition of a British accent. I head the click of her end button, and I pressed mine with my thumb, too, closing the En V.

"Mom?" I called from the dining room, where I was chilling with my Saltines.

"Yes, honey?"

"I'm going to a sleep over tonight." It wasn't a question.

"You are?" she said, coming into the room with a sponge. I could tell she had just cleaned the kitchen. Wiping the sponge along the length of the table, she seemed totally unsurprised.

"Yup. Leah's coming at seven."

"Alright, you had better go get your things together."

"Where's my meds?"

"In the cabinet."

I got up from my chair, sliding on the linoleum tiles over to the cabinet above the bar. It was sort of nice having my mom and dad as a couple. My mom, surprisingly, was getting better at filing things and reigning in her overbearing creativity, and my dad was getting more and more used to letting out his wild side. Today, they'd painted a wall yellow together. It was the hallway wall, and my mom had added streaks of blue. They were getting along better than they had when they were married. Maybe marriage was the death of a relationship. Maybe you didn't need to be tied to someone by wedding rings and "I do"'s to have your soul-mate be with you forever and no one else. Everyone needed some space.

Reaching in, I took the inoffensive little pill bottle with its tiny, innocent looking white capsules. They really didn't taste bad or anything, and you were fine if you took them, but if you _didn't?_ Nausea. Even though I was in the clear with the puking thing, I still had two more days — and nights — of pill-taking.

I looked at the clock. Six forty-five.

Shoot.

Fifteen minutes to throw together my best pajamas, impressive morning clothes, and all my female-care products. I'd never worn make-up before, but I was seriously starting to consider it.

-- -- -- --

"Anna!"

I almost tripped down the porch steps at the sound of my name. Leah was there, with her Rusty blue pick-up truck. It was certainly old, and the brakes squeaked as she came to an abrupt halt in my driveway. I threw my bag in the bed of the truck, making to climb into the front.

Leah made a clicking sound. "Sorry, Kim called shot-gun."

"Damn."

I opened the back door, climbing in.

"So...what are we going to do?"

"Girl stuff. Seth is leaving for patrol at nine, so he'll bug us until then, little squirt. You're going to be the youngest there, I think. Kim is nineteen...I think. She skipped a grade or two..."

"She skipped a grade?"

"Or two," corrected Leah. "That's how she got to be in Jared's class. His personal stalker."

I'd heard the Jared/Kim imprinting story one night at the hospital. His own personal stalker was right.

"Wow. Is she..."

"No, she's not a nerd. Not that much. Just pretty darn shy. She opens up, once I get her to get her sarcasm on."

So that was why they were friends. Joy.

I was in for a long night.

-- -- -- --

_Next chapter, THE SLEEP OVER! _

_-cheering-_

_Yes, yes, I know._

_So exciting._

_AAAAAAAAAAND the song of the chapter is..._

_-drumroll-_

Just Stand Up — Various Different Artists

_It doesn't really have to do with the chapter, but I had to use it. I only just found this song listening to the radio. A bunch of singers — Beyoncé, Rihanna, Carrie Underwood, Mariah Carey, Ciara, Melissa Etheridge, Mary J Blige, LeAnn Rimes, Leona Lewis, Keyshia Cole, Ashanti, Sheryl Crow, Natasha Bedingfield, Fergie, Miley Cyrus —_ _They will be performing this song on September 5 for the Stand Up To Cancer Charity Television Special on ABC, NBC, and CBS at 8PM ET/PT. I think it's great, and I will be watching. I might even write it into the story. Yeah. A link to the video is right here —_

OK, the link isn't working, so just go to youtube and type in Just stand Up. Yeah...

— _Just take out the spaces. I'll change it if it isn't working on here, because you can't post links here. Yeah._

_Love, Allie_


	30. BOOK TWO: EIGHT

_This will be my last summer update, because I return to school tomorrow. OH! Guess what. You all need to be happy for me, because I GOT MY BLACK BELT! Yeah, that's right, fear meh. Just kidding. Just because I can kick ass, doesn't mean I will. Doesn't mean I won't either. So...yeah. ON WITH THE CHAPTER. Onward, I say! Random. OH! _**Note: This chapter does not express my beliefs — just because of my character's views, doesn't mean I feel the same way. Doesn't mean I don't. Got it? Good. ANOTHER NOTE!: The inspiration for my Leah in this chapter - and my other chapters in which Leah appears - is from Momentarily Infinite. SO, I thank you for that, Clyde! There. It took long enough to get up, LOL.  
**

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Can't Eat the 'Comfort Food'**

"**Yeah...I've got my Saltine Crackers, though."**

**OK, whatever get's you through!**

"**...okay?"**

"_Seth_!"

He stood, dumbfounded, as I threw my arms around his neck. He planted a kiss on my lips, and I followed him up, kissing back. Wow, weird reactions. But I liked it. Leah coughed loudly behind us.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't worry," smiled Kim. "It happens to the best of us."

"And my brother, apparently," Leah sighed, rolling her eyes. "Jeez, it was like you were trying to suck each others' lips off."

I tittered out a laugh nervously, blushing — something I normally didn't do. Seth still looked a little bewildered, so I entwined our hands and looked up at him, beaming.

"Hi," I giggled.

"What are you —"

"Leah invited me to sleep over..." I threw a glance in her direction.

"Aw, _Leah_? Jeez..." He made it sound as if it were a bad thing I got along with his family.

"What?" snapped Leah defensively.

"Nothing..." he murmured.

"_Seth._.." She held the word out for two counts. Se-eth.

"What?" He was pretty ticked.

"Has anyone ever told you you're a control freak?"

"Nope."

I snickered a little.

" Well you are. There. Now someone's told you."

"Burn!" put in Kim, smiling. "Just kidding," she assured.

"Whatever. Just don't talk about me up there..."

"What, do you have embarrassing potty-training stories I'm not allowed to hear?" I asked, curious.

"More like phasing stories you're not allowed to hear. C'mon, I'll tell you about the time he popped back into his human form but didn't have any clothes and he was in the middle of the street." Leah clarified.

"I'll...pass, on that one."

"He's trained you well."

"I'm not trained, Leah," I reassured her.

"Hm, whatever."

We usually got along better than this.

I followed her and Kim up the steps. Leah's room was average sized, but it didn't have posters or pictures on the wall. Sort of contemporary, everything seemed square and modern. She flopped on her bed the minute she was in distance, her short bob fanning out on the sheets. I laughed.

"Home sweet home?" I suggested.

"You got it."

Kim took a seat on the edge of the bed as Leah said this. She scooted over a little, making room for me. I took a seat beside her, feeling self conscious. Both of them had _hair._ It was slightly awkward, but I tried my best to ignore it. My hand found its way up to my exposed scalp, feeling it unconsciously — like a habit.

We sat there for a short moment, Leah with her eyes closed, Kim sitting relaxed, me being bald... And then Leah sat bolt up right.

"Who wants to use the Ouija Board?"

"The... wee...wee-ji...wait, what?" The only thing that came to mind was three question marks.

"The Ouija Board — _wee-jee._ Some people say _wee-ja_. You use it to contact spirits."

"_Neat_, I want to call my aunt," put in Kim, snickering. I was starting to like her.

"You don't _call_, you _contact_," corrected Leah.

"Fine, then I want to _contact_ my dead aunt."

Leah moved over to her little homemade closet, fashioned from a curtain and some well positioned poles. Stepping inside, she pulled out a dusty looking box with no visible writing on it. As I scrutinized the inoffensive looking box, Leah scowled at me.

"It's old, give me a break! It was, like, my dad's or something. Or his dad's. It's ancient." She dusted some dirt of, waving a hand in front of her face to clean the air she breathed. Opening the browned lid, she gave it a shake, muttering about how she'd have to vacuum later because of all the dust. I was stunned by the simpleness of the board when she pulled it out. It was a black and white board, with a square magnifying glass-thingy on it. It had the alphabet in the center, yes to the top left, no to the top right of the board, a set on numbers below the alphabet, and then the word, "farewell". Above the alphabet was the word, "Ouija". Is that how you spelled wee-jee? Leah placed it on her bed, wiping dust off of this, too. She quickly crossed the room and turned out the lights. I gasped at the sudden darkness, but then she lit a candle and something else. I was overtook by a light candy-apple scent — she'd lit incense.

"Now, Kim, what's your aunt's name?"

"Kimberly."

"You got named after your aunt?" I asked lightly.

"Actually, I'm just Kim. Kim, Kim, Kim. Not Kimberly, just Kim. My mom said I needed individuality, so she didn't name me exactly after my aunt." Kim said this in a proud tone, but not proud enough to be haughty.

"Got it, Kim, Kim, Kim."

She smiled. Leah was getting impatient, however. "Now," she continued. "Put your fingers on this triangle of plastic lightly. Don't guide it's movements. Just channel the spirit. Now," she went on again, but this time, her voice was louder, talking to the spirits and beyond. I stared in awe at her. "Are there any sp —"

"Leah?" The lights flicked on. Seth stood at the door, in his glowing, glorious, shirtless Seth-y-ness. I smiled, but Leah was scowling.

"What do you want, squirt." It wasn't a question, even though it was... Leah didn't seem like a questions person, though, not when it came down to business.

"What are you — you took out the Ouija Board? Leah, do you _want_ Anna to have a heart-attack?"

"Hey," I put in cheerfully. "At least it won't be a brain-attack."

Seth gave me an exasperated look.

"Oh, c'mon. It was a joke..."

"I know," he said, shaking it off.

"Hey," Kim put in. "When do you leave for patrol?"

"In an hour."

"Play with us. C'mere, we're just starting. We're going to call my — _contact_," she sighed as Leah elbowed her lightly. "my aunt."

"Fine," he huffed, kneeling near Leah's bed, next to me. His heat was comforting.

"Okay. Spirits," she addressed the room and further again. "Is there anyone here?"

"Lee-Lee, you're not doing it right," complained Seth.

"Fine, then you do it."

Seth purposefully moved the "triangle thingy" in a few circles. My hands followed willingly, but Leah almost was dislodged.

"See, you have to warm up the planchette."

"The..." I trailed off.

"The triangle thingy."

"Ah."

"Is there anyone there?" asked Seth, though he sounded weaker than Leah did. I was suddenly worried about him.

It took a few seconds, but then we were all slowly being moved towards yes. Well, not our whole bodies, but our fingers and the planchette. I let out a little puff of air, alarmed by this movement. Seth glanced at me quickly.

"What is your name?"

The planchette took longer this time to move, but it started on K. Then moved snail-pace to I, following up with M, B, E, R, L, Y. Kim let out a little squeal.

"How did you die?" I asked before Seth could talk.

"Cancer," Kim answered, as the planchette began moving towards C. It was followed by A, N, C, E, and R.

"What kind?" I breathed.

"Br..." But Kim never finished, because Kimberly wasn't going to have it, apparently. The planchette moved from B, to R, A, I, N.

"I'm done," said Kim shakily.

"Oh, come on," complained Leah, but Kim was already off. It was just the Clearwaters and I.

"Are you a good spirit?" I asked nervously.

The planchette took a full minute to move this time. Or, at least to start moving. It stopped on Ouija.

"What does that mean?" I asked nervously.

"I don't know, but I'm out," replied Leah. It was only Seth and I.

"Am I going to die?" I questioned the board, a new strongness in my voice.

"Anna, no," Seth cautioned, and he made a move to steal the planchette, but Leah slapped his hand away, warning on her face. It was just me.

The planchette move to the left, and my heart dropped.

"Yes..." I breathed. "Soon?"

It stayed.

"Kay, we're done," Leah and Seth concluded in unison, Seth removing my hand from the planchette, Leah scooping up the board. I thought I saw the planchette move to Farewell, but I couldn't be sure.

"How about you girls sleep," said Seth.

"Sure, good idea," agreed Leah.

"But —"

There was no reasoning with either of them. Kim and set up our sleeping bags, and Leah moved her stuff to the floor. Neither of us would have minded if she sleept in her own bed, but she insisted on sleeping on the floor with us.

As I closed my eyes, after my goodnight kiss from Seth, promising to be back in "three, four hours tops", I thought I saw a face. But it was only Leah's poster, so I slowly drifted into a fitful sleep.

-- -- -- --

_OK, so some of you might say, "OH, that could NEVER happen," but just don't. Because it may not be my belief, but I'm not dissing it. It could happen. Sorry if you guys don't believe in it, but I figured if vampires and werewolves were in the story, why not Ouija Boards? Yeah. I've never used one, but I saw Leah as an Ouija Board type. Mmmhmm. OH! And the song that I think fits this chapter, even if only a little bit, is_

Disturbia — by Rhianna

_Yeah. I got chills writing this chapter, so I figured this was a good fit._

_Thanks for reading!_

_Love, Allie_


	31. BOOK TWO: NINE

_OK. Soooo...this chapter is kind of a sixteenth birthday present to Momentarily Infinite. Yeah. IF its your birthday, TELL ME, and I'll dedicate a chapter to you too! Just don't lie, or I'll sick Maggie on you. RED HAIR! POWER TO THE REDHEADS! Yeah. She'll KNOW you're lying, and then she'll eat you with her red hair. Beat that. ON WITH THE CHAPTER! Rah! Hurrah! GO! All done with that..._

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Anna**

"_**Really**_**. Did you figure that**

**out by yourself?"**

**I don't want to spoil the chapter!**

"**Suuuuure, whatever you say."**

**YOU! Remember I can **

**kill you off!**

"**..."**

Warm and wet. Two things I registered that were directly underneath my nose when I came to consciousness. I opened my eyes, only to find that I couldn't see. It made my eyes ache, looking into the blackness, but I had more pressing manners at the moment. Bringing my hand to my face, I screamed.

"Huh?" I heard Leah's sleepy voice come from the floor nearby my feet. She rustled around with her sleeping back while I panicked, hyperventilating, trying to find out why there was blood coming out of my nose.

She stood, only to trip over my legs. Swearing loudly, Leah wrestled to get upright. I heard Kim's sharp intake of breath as she was woken by Leah and I, and then heard her footsteps as she stumbled to the light switch. With a tiny click, the room was filled with white. My pillow was soaked in blood, and so was the front of my pajamas. Obviously, I'd been bleeding for a while. _Why was I bleeding?!_ Why on _earth_ was I bleeding?! My hand found its way to my face again as I heard Leah scream, looking at my face.

"Anna, what the _heck_?"

"What happened?" asked Kim. She seemed relatively calm.

"I don't know!" I said in a nasally voice. It wasn't my own. It couldn't have come from me, could it?

"How do you stop a nosebleed?" Leah was already in action. Grabbing a box of tissues for the nightstand, she chucked them at me. I caught them clumsily, shoving a handful towards my face, trying to stem the flow. I looked around as Leah picked up the phone, calming considerably. Kim sat next to me, looking at me sympathetically.

"Have you ever got a nosebleed?" she wondered.

"No," I said around the bleeding that was seeping into my throat. The tissue was starting to fall apart.

"Try not to think about it," she suggested, and tried to smile carelessly. I didn't point out that this suggestion was going to be a little hard, and instead, focused on what I had seen before I fell asleep.

"I saw one of Leah's posters before I went to bed. It fr..."

Kim looked at me in the weirdest way, then gestured around the room. "What poster?"

Leah had no posters.

Jeez.

"N...nothing."

Leah was jabbering on her cell phone, so I focused on that.

"Emily, I _need_ to talk to Seth...well, can you get Jared to phase then —" Kim looked up at the mention of Jared " — because — he's coming? ...no, I just need to ask him what to d— oh, okay, put him on." She paused for a moment, and I imagined Emily handing to phone to a distraught looking Seth. Or maybe he was just normal looking. I hadn't heard her mention anything about the severity of the situation. My nose wouldn't stop pumping blood. I zoned out as she started talking to Seth. Pulling out another handful of tissues, I shoved it up to my face again, trying not to fall over into Kim. My eyes swam a little, but my thoughts eventually found Leah's words agian.

"...a _little_ problem. I said we ran into a little — don't sass me! I've got your girlfriend's life in my — NO, I'm not going to kill Anna. We're tight... Seth, she's got a nosebleed." I heard disbelief on the other line. "Seth, it doesn't sound bad, but it's not stopping." Pause. "Do you know what to do?" Pause. Then he was talking so loud I could hear him.

"Tell...me..._everything_."

"Well, she woke up and screamed, and then I tripped, Kim — lights — and blood. And that's all I gathered."

He mumbled something, and then I heard the click of the line.

"He'll be right here in a minute."

She was right. I hadn't counted to ninety and he burst through the door. I was on my third handful of tissues at the time. He gave a quick glance at the scene, that strode forward once and was down at my level, eye to eye. "Are you okay?"

"Doo I wook owkay?" I couldn't talk remotely normal at this point.

"You look beautiful."

"Stop swucking up."

He smiled, and through my swimming eyes, I noticed how white his teeth were.

"You'wre pwetty pwetty, too..."

"Thanks...? OK, now the major question. Do we call your —"

But I was already shaking my head back and forth. "What time is it?" My voice sounded a little clearer.

"About three thirty."

"Den cawl, I guess."

But_ he_ was already dialing.

"Um, hi, Darlene, it's Seth...yeah, I know...I know it's early, thats what I know...hence, 'I know'...Dammit, Darlene, I don't have time to talk! Anna is bleeding, and it won't stop...yeah...I have a car...no, it's not mine...I have my permit..._fine_, Leah can drive then...see you there. Bye." He turned to me. "We're going to the hospital."

"What?! _Why?!_ It's a _nosebleed_, Seth."

"Yeah, one that's not stopping. C'mon."

He grasped my hand and helped me to my feet, only to scoop me up. I heard Leah huff, but she didn't protest. Neither did I. I was all too willing to curl up into his chest and pretend I wasn't bleeding.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's...Seth?**

"**Seth...is that all you can**

**come up with?"**

**Fine. **

**So...He's a Control Freak**

"**Fine. Be that way."**

She fell asleep in the car. Currently, she was sleeping again, and the bleeding stopped. But they were still doing tests. Damn, I hated this. So annoying. Tests, tests, tests... Why couldn't they just figure out what's wrong? Apparently, she wouldn't stop bleeding. Didn't a lot of people not stop bleeding? Wasn't there a cure for that or something? With technology today, there should have been, but there wasn't. And it ticked me off. Darlene and Jerry had showed up ten minutes after me, Leah, and Kim all got comfy in our chairs. Darlene, well, she was insane with worry. She got up in bed with Anna and curled up. And then she cried, which I hadn't seen her do — not that I could remember. Jerry tried to ignore it, but she was bawling, so he rubbed her back. Weird, weird family. Anna slept through it.

Kim and Leah felt awkward, so they left to get food. Plus, Jared was getting worried. Stupid Jared, he knew where Kim was and why she was here — or he did know, but he forgot. That was Jared...

"Darlene?"

She looked up, and she was still all bleary eyed.

"Are you done crying, Darlene? You need to be strong. Think about what that would do to Anna if she was awake. Think."

This made her sort of angry.

"At least I show emotion," she snapped.

"At least I hold strong!" I retorted.

"Now, now," Jerry tried to smooth, standing up. "Enough of that."

"Yeah, enough," agreed Anna. Wait...

"Oh. You're up," stated Darlene.

"Mmm," she sighed, nuzzling into the pillow. "That was actually the best sleep I've had in a while."

"Good," Darlene and I said in unison. I glared at her at the same time she glared at me. Anna's brow furrowed.

"I miss something?"

"Only the pigs flying outside the window, dump-trucks rolling on the roof, oh, and the end of the world," filled in Jerry.

She laughed, and the sound made my heart flutter.

She had to be alright.

She had to laugh again.

-- -- -- --

_All done! OK, since I couldn't think of a song, the song IS..._

Say It Again — Marie Digby

_It doesn't really fit, but it could be like Anna singing to Seth or something. I dunno. I needed a song, though, so yeah. Hope you liked the chapter!_

_Love, Allie_


	32. BOOK TWO: TEN

_Sorry I haven't updated! And I know you guys don't want excuses, so on with the chapter!_

-- -- -- --

**So...There's Yellow Stuff in That Bag...**

**And It's Creeping Her Out**

"**Tell me about it."**

**I just did.**

"**...well, FORGET YOU."**

"That stuff looks..."

"Kind of like..."

"Pee?" I suggested, finishing off Leah's and Kim's musings.

"Yes," they giggled together.

"And it's gonna go inside me, so I'm going to pretend it's blue."

"Why not red, or green?" queried Kim.

"...I dunno! It's blue, and that's final."

"What about a nice orange?" asked Leah.

"Or a pretty shade of lilac?" threw in Kim.

"NO!" I huffed, propping myself up on an elbow to see Kim and Leah better.

"What, you've got something against lilac?" she said in a touch-y voice, feigning offense.

"Ugh, no...I need those damn platelets."

"Ooooh, language!" scolded Leah.

My mother snickered from the corner, where she was supposed to be watching _One Life to Live._

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mrs. Road-Rage."

Leah and Kim cackled. Just then, Seth and my Dad joined us, holding satchels of pancakes drizzled with syrup, and good looking bacon, and — my heart dropped — several packets of saltine crackers. Damn!

"Oh, I wonder what's for me!" I sighed, scooting over for Seth to sit on the bed. He fiddled with a couple of packets, splitting them evenly between us. I'd almost given up on our argument about him taking on my dietary needs, but I still had a couple kicks left in me. I stole his crackers.

"No," I said in a firm voice.

"Bad puppy," added Leah. Seth glared.

"Hey, I'm hungry," he protested, snatching one back, though crushing it in the process.

"What are you going to eat, dust?" asked Kim, not looking up from her pancakes. I'd already told everyone not to feel bad about eating in front of me while I ate my "food".

"Dad," I said in a tone that meant no-nonsense. He'd taught it to me. "Why don't you give Seth some pancakes, or some bacon?"

"S—"

"Don't worry about it, Mister Doo-ble-ve," he said, referring back to his new nickname for my dad. School was starting soon — very soon, especially for the La Push kids (technically, he should have been in school already, but he was skipping a couple of weeks, which his mother had already worked out) — and he'd been brushing up on his Spanish, when he remembered what the word for W was. Now my dad was Mr. W — Mister Doble Ve (or Doo-ble-ve, because I had to re-teach him how to say it). We'd also gone over how he WOULD be Senor W, but Seth liked Mister better.

"You're impossible," I groaned, leaning on his shoulder.

"When are they going to hook you up to that unit?"

"What?"

"The y—"

"IT'S BLUE!" corrected Kim suddenly.

"...no it's not?" said Seth, though it came out like a question.

"Yes, it is," she countered in a matter-of-fact way.

"Kim, it's —"

"Blue," finished Leah, and even I had to laugh while Seth sat dumbfounded.

"Anyway," he continued, after we were done laughing. "When do they give it to you?"

"In an hour — I asked for a break from the IV after they cauterized my nose."

Ow. That had hurt beyond belief. They'd burned my nose to close off where it was bleeding. Man, had that been painful. My mother had tried, unsuccessfully, mind you, to distract me while they preformed the cauterization, but it hadn't helped. I still screamed. And I still cried a little when they took my blood. You'd think I'd be used to it by now...

"Ah. So, um, we wait?"

"No, we _dance_!" said Kim, standing, and pulling Leah to her feet, where they proceeded with their rendition of the tango. My mom and dad suddenly became more engrossed in my mom's "program" (she'd taken on a "Terribly British" type of attitude, and she wasn't even _doing it right_!).

Seth blinked. "Do you..."

_I_ blinked. Several times.

My mom and dad suddenly exchanged a look and stood in unison. "Know what, Jerry?" my mom said loudly. "I think I left my, er... STAPLER! I think I left my stapler in the car. _Lets_ go _get_ it," she said, unnecessarily enunciating certain words.

"Do you have the, um, _staples_?"

"In the glove box," she replied quickly.

And then they were gone. Sex crazed lunatics...

"So, do you want to dance?"

"Er, I'm sort of wobbly... and I can't dance."

"Oh, well, thats a factor, of course," he said awkwardly. Leah and Kim fell silent, until Kim made a strange motion with her hands. Putting her hands overtop of each other, she took her thumbs and rotated them.

"AWKWARD TURTLE!" she said happily.

Leah hooted with laughter.

"Awkward..." I trailed off.

"Turtle?" Seth finished. It didn't look like a turtle to _me_.

"Oh, you two have _much_ to learn. Now get up and dance." So much for shy Kim...

Seth helped me carefully out of bed, minding the wires that would be hooked up in about twenty minutes, and carefully set me down ontop of his feet. I stepped down, but he seized me from under the armpits and lifted me back up.

"What the..."

"What? I thought you couldn't dance!"

So we swayed awkwardly to the newly blaring MTV snippets of music until the hospital workers came and told us to turn it down. Leah just turned it up again when they left. "Simple as Siamese Twins," she explained. We fell silent, before Kim said that Awkward Cat thing again. And then it was...

...time.

_For the platelet infusion, _my mind added quietly in the background of my panicking thoughts.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's Watching His Girlfriend Squirm**

"**Am not...really."**

**Are too. And You're Doing Nothing**

"**Nothing?"**

**Nothing**

I watched as the yellow — blue — fluids drained painfully, slowly into Anna's arm. She'd let out the tiniest whimper — alright, not THAT tiny — but she was quiet now, taking deep breaths and trying, obviously, to forget about the IV. Drip, drip, drip. Her pain was my pain. I winced. Man, this hurt.

She opened one eye — they were closed — to stare at me. She'd asked (ordered) Kim and Leah to go home for a while, because they had school the next day. I, however, was excused from school for another week, so I was safe. Maybe I could be a Sophomore drop-out.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"You look...distressed."

"I feel distressed..." I mumbled.

"What was that?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing. How do you feel?"

"Like barfing. I keep getting mental images of what my mom and dad are doing every time you rock that chair back. Oh, and stop doing that — I don't want you to fall and crack your head open."

"I won't, mommy," I teased. "'Sides, werewolves don't break. _Anna's_, on the other hand..."

"What, I'm not classified as human?"

"No, you're better. But, I guess I could slide you in as a human."

"Thanks," she said sarcastically, waving me off with her IV hand. Immediately she winced, and I watched the needle dig into her arm. "Uhuhm, ow?" Her frail voice raised in question.

I didn't feel myself stand up, but it felt like I blinked, and then I was at her side, holding her hand. Instinct, I guessed. "Are you alright?" I asked worriedly.

"Now I am," she sighed, and I saw a tiny tear at the corner of her eyes.

"Its okay," I promised, taking a seat. "It'll be okay."

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Reassured**

"**For now."**

**Yeah. For now**

When he sat down, I immediately felt his weight shift the bed. He was tall, and thus he made a huge impression on the bed. He was pretty much taller than me when he was sitting and I was standing. Turning to me, he took his too big, too warm hand and wiped the stupid eye water from my cheek as well as kept up a steady stream of reassurances.

"Stop," I inturrupted him. "I know it's alright."

"How?" he asked.

"Like this," I said, grabbing him and pulling him down next to me with my good arm. He obliged, making sure to fall over me and not on my IV. Ow, that'd hurt. Looking at the clock on the wall, I noted that I had around five minutes left until it was done. Seth laid across my stomach until adjusting himself so that he could get his arm under my head.

"You make no sense."

"Sure I do," I smiled, kissing him lightly on his neck, since his lips were out of reach.

"Mmm, yeah, perfect sense, crazy-random-kisser."

"Awkward cat."

"What?"

"Shh," I sighed into his lips, forgetting how I got there. I melted into him, keeping my IV arm well away from the tangle that was Seth and Anna, or Anna and Seth, or me and him, or just _us_.

And even though I had an IV in my arm and my nose was burning because it had no snot or that I was a little thirsty and I wanted real food, the moment was what it was, and that was all it would ever be.

Perfect.

-- -- -- --

_Awh. I'm good at the gooeys, lol. Or would that be gooies? I dunno... OH WELL. So, the song is..._

Must Have Done Something Right — Relient K

_It sort of fits, because... I dunno. LISTEN TO IT! Yeah. Hope you enjoyed it!_

_Love, Allie_


	33. BOOK TWO: ELEVEN

_Woo! I finally got my lazy butt writing. Sorry for the wait! OH! And I just noticed something. My characters certainly like to swear in their little intros. So I might make that a little more natural — the swearing, for them. I mean, the pack have dirty mouths, so Seth probably should a little bit, too._

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Got**

**Chemotherapy Today**

"**Don't remind me."**

**Too late.**

"**Damn you!"**

"Ugh. Do I really have to go?"

"Do you want to get well?"

"Yeah, I guess," I huffed, sitting back in the car seat. My dad had promised to come later on, because he had to go into work early today, and my mom was with Grams at Aunt Cheryl's house, so Seth had agreed to take me. The crack-ups in the back seat were chatting aimiably about what color the chemo-drug would be today.

"How about pink?"

"Naw, maybe green. I think thats her favorite color."

"I thought it was purple."

"Purple? Like a lilac?"

"Jeez, freak, what's with you and lilacs? Are you obsessed or something?"

"I am not obsessed! Take that back!"

"Why should I, lilac lover?"

"Stop!"

"Lilac-lover, lilac-lover, Kim is a Lilac-l—"

"Shut up! The chemo-drug is clear, my favorite color is NOT green, its yellow — yes, it changes all the time, and yes, Kim, you DO seem a little bit obsessed with lilac, and Leah, it's alright if she's a lilac lover!" I really didn't need this stress. The duo silenced.

"Awkw—"

"Kim," I warned.

She fell silent.

Five minutes later, she cracked.

"AWKWARD TURTLE!"

"ARGH!" I groaned, closing my eyes and trying to imagine we weren't on the way to the hospital. Leah snickered. I did the only thing I was trained to do — I threw my new cell-phone at her.

"OW!" It hit Kim in the nose.

"_Someone's_ got their cranky-pants on," Leah complained loudly.

"_Seth_, control your sister!" I threw a glance at him, my eyebrows pinching inward.

"I'm doing the best I can not to crash this car."

"Didn't you pass your test?" I asked suspiciously.

"Of course." He shifted his gaze to the side. "Barely," he murmured, hardly loud enough for me to hear.

"_What?_" came Kim's voice from the back. Boy, she had good ears.

"I — I just get nervous, that's all!"

"If you crash this car, so help me I will —"

"SETH!"

Seth slammed on the breaks at my command. I jolted forward in my seat, as did Kim. Leah and Seth didn't move, but Seth flinched as he watched the light anxiously, waiting for it to turn green again.

I remembered how to breathe a second too late. Leah was already yelling.

"You just wait till I tell mom — your ass will be grass!"

"Language!" scolded Kim. "Jared will get a kick out of this, after all the time he put into giving you driving lessons!"

"Yeah, all of an hour," Seth mumbled.

"He _tried_," she defended.

"Apparently, not hard enough," Seth said, a little louder.

"You wanna go, wolfy?"

"Bring it, _Kimberly_."

"Oh no you didn't!" Leah said quietly, with attitude. Kim was sitting in silence.

"My...name...is..._Kim._ Say it."

Seth hesitated.

"Now."

"Kim."

"Thats right. _Kim._" And then she lunged.

It was a bundle of Seth and Kim.

"Kim, whatthehell?" said Leah in a quick, confused voice.

"GREEN!" I shouted. No one moved. "GREEN MEANS GO, SETH!"

Leah snickered, pulling a frazzled looking Kim gently off of her brother.

Seth pushed down the gas pedal.

"If I'm late, Kim," I whispered into the seat. "It's all your fault."

-- -- -- --

**So...He Got Beat**

**Up By A Girl**

"**Is Kim classified as a girl?"**

"**YOU JERK!"**

"**How'd you get in my — OW! **

**Kim! Geddoff!"**

"**NEVAR!!"**

**Yeah. Still Getting Beaten, eh?**

"**WHO ASKED — ouch, Kim! — uh...YOU!"**

"Anna?"

I shook her shoulder gently. She blinked in confusion. Obviously, she hadn't been getting much sleep — her eyes looked tired, and had dark circles underneath them. She was constantly falling asleep — this chemotherapy-thing was really getting her worked up. I'd assure her it was no big deal, but...well, I didn't want to lie to her.

"Huh? Oh, damn. I fell asleep again."

"No, really?" asked Kim, appearing behind me. I flinched at the sound of her voice. Kim had _long_ fingernails. The sharp kind. I'd actually gotten a cut! She'd cut me with her fingernail! I mean, it had gone away in, like, two seconds, but still! A cut!

"Really," Anna smiled, stretching her arms out in front of her and yawning. "It's too early in the day, anyway, so I have an excuse."

"Nine o'clock is _not_ early, my friend," Leah piped in.

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

"What gives you authority to decide what's early and —"

"We're going to be late," I put in with a small voice.

"Good," she said, but succumbed as I took her hand and lead her to the entrance of the hospital.

-- -- -- --

"Have I ever told you how much I hate hospitals?"

"I'm sure we've all heard it once —"

"Or three times!" Kim said smugly.

"Kim?" Anna asked.

"Yes?"

"What was that about you skipping a grade?"

"Yeah, I skipped a grade."

"Tell me, were you very good at math?"

"I was in honors..." trailed off Kim uncertainly, not catching the point.

"Are you very good at counting?"

"Sure."

"Well, maybe you needed to be held back."

"Why?"

"You missed two."

"What? Did no—ooooh...I did, didn't I..."

Anna nodded.

"Someone feeling hostile, Anne?"

"Shut it, Lee," I said, elbowing my sister.

"Ass!" she said, retaliating, her fist colliding with my face.

"Leah!" Anna said in shock.

"What, did you want to do it?" she asked, not looking up from checking her nails.

"Did you have to punch him?!"

"What, did you want me to slap him? Anna, honey, I don't do slaps."

"Ugh..."

I nonchalantly inspected the damage by running my hand over the side of my face, then pulling it through my newly growing hair. I was in a rough spot with the hair-thing, now. It was half grown out, half shorn down. Not a very good look for me...

Doctor Tamblin came to the door, and I heard a collective gasp from Leah and Kim. I only just picked up Kim's astonishment.

"Lookitherboobehs!" she whispered. "Man, she should win a prize or something!"

Leah giggled, shushing Kim with her hand.

I'd been distraced and hadn't caught the needle going into Anna's arm as the Doctor pushed it into the crook in her right arm. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep — Anna was obviously trying her hardest to forget about the needle.

"This is the start of week two — god dammit..." Anna sighed. "Who brought the movie?"

"Movie?" asked Kim, confused.

"I told you guys to bring a couple movies! Ugh. Seth did you bring cards?"

"Right here."

"Go fish."

"No, WAIT!" Kim ordered, standing up. "It's my fault you don't get to see your movie, so Leah and I" — Leah blinked at the mention of her name — "are going to do something to entertain you. I know! Impressions! Who am I?"

Kim puffed out her little chest and started walking around, twirling her hair around her finger. Leah wolf-whistled (ironically).

"I know! You're Nurse Bim—Doctor Tamblin," said Anna happily.

"Who am I?" Leah pushed Kim to the side, but with a little force — not as if, say, she'd been pushing me. She got a sulk on her face.

"Oh! I know. You're Paul," I said.

"Hey! I wasn't even done."

"Is Paul the one — the one with the face?"

"I don't know! Are you the one, the one with the fingers?" Leah mocked lightly.

"Leah," I warned, but threw my hands up over my face. Anna got a kick out of this.

"If you guys keep this up, Chemotherapy will be a breeze," Anna laughed.

And it was. We continued on with impressions, and then we all played go-fish.

I don't remember who won, but I know Kim lost:

"DAMMIT! Know what, Seth? You loose."

"What?!"

"That's right. Looser! Looser!"

Leah joined in, and then Anna was laughing her ambrosial, appetizing, contagious laugh. The point? We all had fun, even my Anna, who hated hospitals.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's —**

"**Wait!"**

**What Is It Now?**

"**I don't need an intro."**

**Why The HELL Not?**

"**This is going to be, like, **

**one line, alright?"**

**Fine.**

I hate hospitals, but I love Seth.

So, getting chemotherapy wasn't quite as bad when Seth was there.

It was like a super negative with a super positive, so it was neutral.

So, for as long as Seth is in my life, hospitals are neutral territory.

That's all.

**So...LIAR! **

**So Much For One Sentence!**

"**Shut it."**

-- -- -- --

_Just letting you know, I was highly dissapointed with this chapter. To me, it felt like a parody. So, I'll buck up and make the next chapter fantastic. _

_Promise. OH! The song! This was a suggestion from _Team Space Heater (—— Nice name, by the way)

A Little Bit Longer — Nick Jonas (The Jonas Brothers — Someone should clear that up for me...)

_Yup. And I'm well aware that I still need to use up all of those cancer songs that you guys have given me. I'm thinking they'll have to do some with Kim...I dunno. But I'm working on it! I promise._

_Love, Allie_


	34. BOOK TWO: TWELVE

_Gah! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. I had, like, a ZILLION projects to finish. Well, only two. But still. It was tiring, and then...well, you don't want to hear my drama, you want to read the story, eh? Well, here it is! OH! One more note. I'm plugging in a story of Momentarily Infinite's into mine, because she's totally awesome and deserves it. Her family game night with the pack pushed me over the edge._

_Love, Allie_

-- -- -- --

**So...She Thought...**

"**No. Really?"**

**...WELL THEN.**

"**What, no witty come back?"**

**I'm supposed to ask that!**

**Jerk-face.**

"**I'm not going to argue with you."**

**Damn. Wait to take all**

**the fun out of things. Jeez, Anna**

**my God!**

"**..."**

**Burn.**

I thought things were supposed to get better with time.

Like, as in, you get better at dealing with things.

Example: I had been terrible at dancing when I started. But, as time went on, I got better and better, because I was more used to doing it.

_OBVIOUSLY_, chemotherapy didn't work that way.

"Anna, are you thirsty?"

I didn't even have the energy to answer Seth. I actually was thirsty. And hungry and tired and boiling hot and wanting to go punch the guy in the face who came up with chemotherapy. But I couldn't tell him any of that because, at that moment, I was more content to just lay on my stomach. Because if I moved, the nausea would hit again. Last time it hadn't been so bad. I'd gotten a good deal. Obviously, chemotherapy just got worse with time. I wished I had been prepared for that staggering blow.

"Anna, blink twice if you're thirsty!"

"Kim, you dim-wit, her eyes are closed."

"Hew awyes awre cwosed? Is she sweeeeeepy?"

Claire's voice was actually the easiest to deal with. My mom had agreed, ironically, to babysit for the pudgy three-year-old. It wasn't like she needed to keep up with me that much. I had taken to trying to sleep at this point. Quil needed to run a patrol, so he'd dropped her off here since Seth's mom had went to the beach with Charlie Swan. His name rung a bell, but I couldn't place a face to him. Partially because I couldn't really place a face to anyone in the twilight-ish fog of my brain. Well, maybe Seth. But that was different.

"Yes, Claire, she's very sleepy. Maybe we should leave her alone. Want to go play Monopoly?"

"_MONOPOWWY_! Yes puh-_LEEEASE_!"

I moaned.

I heard Leah stand up and usher little Claire out. I didn't hear Kim move, though.

"Anna?" she said tentatively.

"Mmm?" I breathed, opening my eyes into little slits. She wasn't being loud enough to get mad at. Yet.

"I, um, I made you a CD." **(A/N: I finally worked in those songs from you guys! Yes, I know, I'm amazing...) **I heard her rustle around in her bag — since when did Kim carry a bag? — and laid a plastic case gently on my dresser.

"Tmks..." I mumbled.

"Wha?" she asked, clearly confused.

"Thmnks..." I said, a bit more intelligable.

"One more time?"

"THMKS." I raised my voice, but it was still muffled out by my pillow. I felt Seth rise from the edge of the bed a second too late.

"WHAT WAS THAT?! YOU NEED TO SPEAK CL—" Seth clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Thanks," I whimpered quietly. A too-warm hand stroked my face, and I winced away from the touch. He was too hot right now, and not even in the good way. He was just adding to the fire beneath my skin. As I shrank away, he immediately removed his hand from my face. I closed my eyes tight, afraid to see the look on his face. It was probably the look of a man being shot, or watching his loved one get shot. It reminded me of why I told him to leave in the first place. I couldn't even fathom making him leave now. I'd rather him watch and know I was alive than have him leave and bug my mom every twenty seconds for an update, like how he did when he had to leave for his brief patrols.

I didn't really understand the point of patrols — weren't the Cullens gone or something? But Sam was still having Seth run them. He was just about as pleased as I was about that. I reminded him that it'd do him good to get out of the house more often, out of the sick-zone, but he insisted that it was easier for him to stay here.

Pssht. _Men._

"'orry," I apologized. It made me upset that I had to limit my touch to him. "Can you open a window?" Yay, an entire sentence. A new record for this round of chemo.

"It's...fine. Do you want the air on instead? It's raining..."

"S-sure...fine..."

As soon as the cool air hit me, I knew that if he turned it off, I'd simply melt into the bed sheets and through the floor. I'd be a puddle, and he'd have to scoop me up and put me in a jar. What a sad day, if I had to live in a jar.

"Seth?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He moved a little closer. Was a speaking too quietly? I decided to raise my voice.

"Would you love me if I melted and you had to put me in a jar?"

He was silent. I heard a hoot of laughter from the other room, and a reprimanding from Claire to Kim — I wasn't positive if it was Kim, I just assumed — for "not expahlainin' to Cwair what was so dawrn funnay!"

Seth didn't answer immediately, but he eventually gathered himself.

"Of course," he reassured.

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

"Positive."

"Alright, just don't turn off the air..."

"Why?"

"I'll melt."

This time Leah was laughing. I couldn't even hear Seth breathe.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm hot."

"Seth sure thinks so!" laughed Kim.

"Why does Unca Set tink Ayunt Ann-awh is hawt?"

This time, I even laughed a little, but stopped when the nausea rolled back in. "Ouch," I complained.

"What—"

"Bucket!" I pleaded.

He handed me the bucket, and whatever I'd eaten reappeared. "Like magical," as Claire would have put it, but then added, "Eeeeeewah!" Oh, wait. I hadn't even eaten anything. I was hungry...

"Crackers?" I said, rolling onto my back. "Please?"

But he already was tearing open a pack. What a devoted guy...

"Are you feeling alright?" he reiterated his question from before. I barely understood how I had processed that in my foggy head.

"I'm good, aside from the nausea and the melting thing. Just tired...and hot..."

"Well, try to sleep. You'll feel better."

I wondered vaguely if suggestions went straight to the subconscious, like I'd heard from a random hypnotist on youtube. I'd had to do a report about hypnosis — not that I could recall that right now — and this guy explained it all quite well. I wondered vaguely if that was why I was already drifting off to sleep.

I also wondered if Seth would lie to make me feel better. Would sleeping really make me physically feel better? Or would it just let me get an hour or so of relief? Would I get even that? I hoped he wouldn't lie like that.

_Only one way to find out_, I decided.

"Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I beautiful?"

"Of course you are."

Okay, he'd definitely lie to make me feel better. No one thought bald as a baby's bottom was beautiful.

_Lot's of bees._ _Oh, whoops, I've got bee's on the brain. A, bee...bee is for bumblebee. Balloon. Biscuit. Baritone. Bassoon._

My list of B words eventually lulled me to sleep.

-- -- -- --

I'd never heard anything about Chemotherapy giving you crazy dreams...

In my dream, I was a beautiful girl. Looking down at my hands, with a jolt, I realized my skin was a deep copper. I gawked at the beautiful tone to it for a moment, but then moved to my feet. My legs were abnormally long. It felt weird. But why? I was tall, wasn't I? I was tall, with deep, coppery skin and...my hair, it was black! Crow black. Wild and frizzy, it looked a bit fierce — like I'd just gotten out of the woods after wrestling with a bear and winning. I felt strong. I felt bold. I felt...wolfish.

I was Leah.

My dream spiraled off from there. Next I was a great sand-colored wolf, only my paws kept changing colors. It bugged me to no end. Sandy to chocolate to black to gray to chocolate again and then back to sandy and then white — the cycle went on. As if it would make it stop changing, I jumped off a cliff. As I jumped, I felt freed. But then, with another dizzying jolt, and a burst of familiar heat — damn chemo — I was human again, pale, average Anna. And then the water turned into Seth's face, and I was swimming in a sea of copper. No, more like drowning in a sea of copper. I floundered around, and then a cold hand grabbed my ankle. Colder than the water. I screamed, and I felt myself groan in real life. So I was dreaming. I felt the need to change the dream, but I couldn't do anything. I was getting pulled under, and I couldn't breathe.

But then I was in a bathtub full of sand, and Claire was making sand-castles on me. This seemed awkward for me, because, unfortunately, I was in the skimpiest bikini I'd ever seen. And then I did something I distinctly knew I'd never do in real life — I pushed Claire off of me. But the bathtub was floating in the middle of nowhere, and so she fell, down and down, screaming, "Ayunt Ann-aaaaaaaaaaaawh!" And then the tears came.

"Ayunt Ann-awh!"

And I was crying really hard.

"Ayunt Ann-awh!"

I was blubbering, and it was all my fault Claire was falling. But then the bathtub fell, too, and I was spiraling down from there, surpassing Claire, down, down down...

"Ayunt Ann-awh!"

My eyes snapped open. Claire was sitting on the foot of my bed. My face was soaked. I let out a choked sob, then sat bolt up right. A curl of nausea hit me, but relief was too overpowering, and I couldn't help myself. I pulled Claire into my lap and cried into her hair.

"Ewwah! Boogies!" she protested loudly, trying to get away. I hugged tighter.

"Anna?" Seth opened the door, a hamburger in his hand. Finally, he'd found something sensible to eat.

"Seth," I sighed in relief.

Quil appeared behind him, and then his eyes widened.

"C...Claire?" he choked. He rushed forward, prying her from my arms. I obliged, loosening my vice grip.

"Quil, she wasn't going to hurt her."

"Ann-awh is saaaaaad, Qwiwl! Cwaire make her feewl_ aaaaaaaaaawl_ bedder."

"Yeah. Th-Thanks, Claire..."

Seth sat on the bed, hesitant to comfort me.

"I'll be fine," I promised, to which he responded by gently taking my hand.

"What happened?"

"I had a dream where I was Leah, and then I was a wolf but my paws kept changing colors so I jumped off a cliff and then I was swimming in you and then I got pulled under and then I pushed Claire off the bathtub and fell and...and..."

"You...jumped off a cliff..."

"Because my paws were changing colors!" I stated impatiently. He wasn't getting why I was so upset.

"Ah."

"Ugh," I sighed, leaning back and hitting the pillows.

"Want to listen to Kim's CD? I'd like to hear what she put together. Man, I didn't know she had the brains to mix a CD."

"Shush. She skipped a grade."

"They should have held her back..." he mumbled, standing and crossing the room to my closet, taking my boom-box from the back. Plugging it into the wall, he pulled the CD out from his back pocket — boy, he had big pockets — and popped it in.

The first song was Chemo Limo, by Regina Spektor.

After it was over, I was extremely confused.

"I...don't get it."

"Me either. What was up with that Barbara girl?"

"I dunno. Next song," I sighed.

Next was a song I remembered. Cancer, by My Chemical Romance. It made me feel sad, for some reason. Hey, it was a sad song.

"N...next," I mumbled, trying to hide the feelings of grief — and luck, that my chemo wasn't that bad... — as Seth clicked the boom box for the next song.

"It's...woah. It's Annie."

"Huh? Since when...ooh! By Vanessa Carlton?" I was thoroughly excited. I'd heard about the song, but never heard it. It ended up giving me chills.

"L-Lets listen to the rest another day," I suggested.

So Seth put his too-hot arm around my shoulder, and we laid like that for what seemed like forever.

Or at least until I fell asleep again, which seemed like it took forever.

And I didn't even dream.

Yay.

-- -- -- --

_There. Now, I need some refreshers for cancer songs — I'm sorry if it's yours that I forgot. Team Space Heater, you gave me some really good ones, I think, and I need them again. You should see my face as I'm writing this. Beet-red. I'm embarrassed, because I put them in a word document. And then I lost them. _If_ you have a suggestion, do tell! And there will be no song for this chapter, because I'm too lazy to think of one. Yup._

_Love, Allie_


	35. BOOK TWO: THIRTEEN

Arg. This took entirely too long to write, but I had a science current events to write (drag) and then...yeah. I was busy, that's the point. Don't attack me! You guys are highly demanding, did you know that? OH! And I'd like some feedback. Do you guys really think the story is getting dirty? Just wondering...if you already answered me in a review/PM, its fine, you don't need to re-answer.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's Muuuuuch Be-tah**

"**Picking up an accent, are we?"**

**Can it. Remember, you**

**are a fictional character.**

**I can easily kill you off.**

"**LIES!"**

**All I need is a little bit**

**of malignance in me!**

"**...that rings a bell..."**

**NO. Really?**

"Seth, you have to go back to school."

The argument had been taking place in the kitchen, and Leah, Kim, my Mom, Seth's Mom, and I were winning the argument against Seth. It was so nice to have a brute force against one lone werewolf. He had no chance.

"No! Anna, you need me here!"

"What? Since when have I —"

"Don't lie just to get me to go back."

I _had_ planned on lying...

"Seth," his mother chided. "You're not going to win this. You're not going to drop out of highschool!"

"Fine. How about Anna goes back with me then?"

I froze.

"Oh, no you didn't," said Kim in shock.

"Seth, you're missing the point. You need an education!" I argued, trying to fight the logical truth that my mom would have found this idea quite favorable for her plans.

"Yeah, and you don't?"

"You don't understand. I'm _bald_. I look like a living skeleton! You, you're...healthy looking?" I didn't want to compliment him too much — both our mothers were in the room.

"I think Anna should go back to school," said my mom.

Why were we having this argument again?

"I've got an idea! How 'bout neither of us go to school!"

"I second that notion," put in Seth quickly.

"Too late," chorused our mothers together. It had been a bad idea to introduce them.

"You're going to school, Anna," my mom added.

"You too, Sethy-poo."

Leah snickered.

I paled.

Seth cursed.

"Hay!" Claire protested, and we all laughed.

Even me, who was...school-bound.

-- -- -- --

"I want those dishes done before I get home! And could you make a pot of ice-tea?"

My mom was too cheap to buy store-bought iced tea, so she made regular tea, then put it in the refrigerator.

"Fine! Have fun with Mrs. Clearwater!"

The mothers were going out tonight. My dad had work late tonight, and so did Sue's boyfriend, so the women were going out. Seth was home doing homework — I'd won the argument about my schooling for now, but it was only a matter of time before I was enrolled in either Forks High or the Reservation High School. Since Seth had been so overprotective about us attending different schools, my mother was willing to let me go to the school on the rez. Mrs. Clearwater said that Sam Uley said he'd pull a few strings — ugh, Sam Uley — so that I could go there, but it was still debatable whether I was actually _going _to school.

My mom's kitchen was cramped, to say the least, as I reached into the bottom drawer to get the silver tea-kettle that she used to make her iced tea with. Filling it up with water, I set it on the glass stove top, then started on loading the dishwasher. Opening the door to the machine, I left it wide open and started rinsing plates and fitting them into the slots.

The phone trilled.

"'Lo?"

"Hi, it's —"

"_Seth_." The relief and elation in my tone wasn't very well hid. He laughed huskily.

"Has the pack mother left the den?"

"Yeah, and she took the innocent prey with her."

"She took your mom?! That's bad, Anna. She's going to kill her."

For a minute I believed him, but then I laughed. "Your mom's not a murderer."

"See, you're laughing! I'm not."

"Seth..."

"I swear. She'll brainwash her, and next thing you know you'll be going to boarding school in Taiwan!"

"Wait...what's up with Taiwan?"

"Don't ask questions!" But then he broke and laughed.

I laughed, too, leaning against the counter. Hugging the phone between my ear and my shoulder, I returned to loading the dishwasher as he told me about how horrible all of his teachers were. We laughed as he described his English teacher, Mrs. Hagla, and he neon orange hair.

"Neon orange?" I said skeptically.

"And she's Quileute."

"NO. I would have thought she was Polish."

The teapot screamed.

I turned on the spot, but forgot about my open dishwasher.

I barely registered what happened next.

Soon I was zooming, face first at a rapid pace, towards the ground. Flailing, my hand shot out and I screamed. The teapot tipped at my touch, my hand slapped the burner, and scalding water spilled. It was so hot, it was cold.

"OWWWW!" I yelped, and felt my ankle twist around the open dishwasher door. Then there was another scream, and it was me — I barely noticed. It was like I watched the scene from above, then felt the after affects. My eyes were tight shut, but then it all hit at once.

I moaned, laying there for a moment. I was strewn out over the dish washer, and my thigh was on fire — not to mention the fact that my ankle was throbbing, but the pain was dulled by that of the boiling water. My eyes were clamped shut, but with my ears open, I could hear Seth on the other line shouting. I didn't have the self control to answer him. This was just below chemotherapy, though the two couldn't really be compared. This was a whole different kind of hurt.

I could hear my name on the other line, being called serveral times, and then Leah's voice, ordering me to say something. Was Kim over? I didn't know. There was a dead line sound as he hung up, but then he called again. It went to answering machine.

"Anna," he started in a panicked tone. "Please. I'm going to come over if you don't call me back within a minute. Kim, shut up, I'm trying to talk."

The message ended. Three minutes later, the door clicked open.

"Anna?"

"Anna, if you're in there —"

"Don't say 'blink twice'!" Leah was here, too, then. Kim, Seth, Leah. All people who could be of little assistance. Kim was a problem in herself — Leah had to take care of her to make sure she didn't make things worse. And Seth...well, he was too overprotective anyway.

"Anna! There she is, I found her! Ow, you don't look so good," said Kim, peering around the livingroom wall and smiling brightly. I rolled my eyes, but that was all I had time for.

"Anna, jeez, c'mere."

Leah swooped down, and I was in her arms.

"God, Leah," I protested weakly. I hated being the weakest one in the room. Normally it was a battle between me and Kim, but I had pulled ahead lately and everyone had been stronger than me. Stupid chemo. Stupid boiling water.

"What happened?"

Seth sounded horrified.

"I was so stupid! I turned without looking, and my foot got caught under the door to the dishwasher and I tripped and twisted my ankle and knocked the water down onto my legs! Ouch," I added as an afterthought. My legs really hurt.

"Your legs are all bubbly!" noted Kim. She sounded ecstatic. "And pink! You're skin has always been creamy, but now it's pink!"

She reached out to touch a bubble, but Seth slapped her hand away.

"We're going to go to the hospital, O —"

"NO! No freaking way."

"Don't you dare be difficult about this," warned Seth with a harsh tone.

"Jeez, imprinting gone bad," commented Kim lightly.

"I love her too much to let her be stupid about herself."

Just like I loved him too much to let him be a fool over me. It wasn't _that bad _—the bubbles, they were just...ouch.

I closed my eyes and breathed in his earthy scent.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's a Worry Wort**

"**No, I'm not!"**

**Yes, you are. **

**I write for you.**

**I say you're a**

**worry wort.**

"**...WELL."**

**Yeah. What now.**

I shook her lightly awake. She opened her eyes. Anna blinked a couple of times, then took in her surroundings.

"You didn't," she breathed.

"I did."

So, she'd "fallen asleep" (probably fainted) and I'd taken her to the hospital.

"What did you want me to do?!" I said at her accusing look.

"So..."

"So?"

"So what's up with me?"

"They just used this thing called Biobrane on your thigh. They say that it'll keep it from scaring up too bad. It'll scab over then fall off, and the new skin will be there. Like new. Your ankle..."

"What about my ankle?" she sounded confused, and moved the covers away from her feet. Her foot was up on a pillow, wrapped up in a cast.

"Damn!" she shouted, flopping back down. "Whatthehell, Seth?"

"Don't be mad," I whispered.

"It's pink!" Kim added.

Anna seemed surprised at Kim's voice, but dismissed it. "I take it you picked out the color for me?"

"But of course!"

"Does this get me out of school?" she asked nonchalantly, wiggling her way up in bed.

"Probably. Your mom was here earlier. So was Leah, but she had a patrol... You're dad is on his way, I think."

"Jeez..." she sounded disappointed by that.

"What?"

"He'll end up being more of a baby than I am."

"You're not being a baby," I argued.

"Yes. I am."

"Are not."

"Am too."

"She is!"

"Thanks for that, Kim!" Anna sounded irritated.

But she'd be fine. She was no baby.

She was Anna, the strongest person I'd ever met.

-- -- -- --

There you have it! I'm too lazy to put a song up today. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Love, Allie


	36. BOOK TWO: FOURTEEN

Ay-kay. (Like the new word? I do.) Soooo...I'm trying to update more frequently, like I did in the beginning. Yep. That's about it.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's got crutches**

"**Fun!"**

"**No, Leah, not fun.**

**Wait, how are you —"**

**I AM THE AUTHOR.**

**GET OUT, LEAH.**

"**But...I want a**

**point of view!"**

**Too. Bad.**

"**Oh...just you wait**

'**till you're alone at night!"**

**...**

"Does it hurt you?"

"Not nearly as much as it did."

We were sitting on the couch, watching High School Musical because Kim was, in a word, obsessed. She was visiting today, without Leah. So, it was a pure dose of crazy, and it was undiluted by Leah. Seth and I both knew we were in for it, but it wasn't as if we could ask her to leave... Besides, Kim was the bomb that filled the explosion.

"Oh Em GEE! They're _kissing_, you guys! Gabriella and Troy are making-OUT!"

Seth flushed and turned away. If it wasn't himself and I kissing, he didn't like to watch.

I focused on the screen, however, wondering vaguely why two people would kiss when there were fireworks exploding randomly behind them and orbs of light magically floating out of their hands. Kim, however, was entranced.

Seth groaned. "Should we have invited Claire?"

"Don't be an idiot," Kim scoffed.

My leg was up on a pillow, and in big, bold letters, the names Kat and Embry were printed neatly together. Only they were enormous. Embry and his imprint, Kat — which I had no idea about until literally a day ago... — had decided to sign my cast in large letters (well, Embry had decided, actually). There was a scribble from Claire, placed in a heart by Quil, then Quil's name. Embry had taken to putting a heart around both names, much to Quil's protest (and Claire's. "Yew mess-sed et upaaaaaaah!") Emily and Sam had signed, along with Kim, Leah, Collin, and Brady. And Seth, of course, who'd signed on my heel. I felt bad that no one would see it, but he promised it wouldn't matter. Kim had signed over everyone's name in huge bubble letters. My cast was a mess.

"Too bad you can't use a broken limb as an excuse to cancel chemo." Chemo was still full speed ahead. I'd tried to convince everyone otherwise — my mom, my dad, Seth, even Dr. Tamblin, whom I'd had a very long phone conversation with.

No one would budge.

"So, what are we going to do today?" I asked nonchalantly, hoping it was something entertaining.

"Lay around," suggested Seth, adjusting his arm so that it didn't fall quite so hard on my shoulder. It was cozy, the warmth that he produced.

"How about we go cliff diving!" I suggested, slowly sliding my injured leg to the ground, trying not to draw attention to it. Maybe, with Kim being here, he'd forget about my —

"No. What do you take me for?"

"A boy."

"And I'm Kim!" Kim announced happily.

"Oh, Kim! Jared...he, he...he wanted you to meet him at Sam and Emily's house!"

"Shoot! Jared! I'd better go!"

She was out the door faster than I thought a human could go.

"Jared won't be at Emily's house, will he?" I asked, fearful of his answer.

"Nope," he said, popping his _p_.

"You're horrible," I grinned, snuggling. "Can we go for a hike?"

"No."

-- -- -- --

**So...He's Weak**

I'm weak.

"I've got my hiking boot on, can we please _go?_"

"Naw, I'm good."

"_Seeeeth._"

God, the voice. She was pulling her sweet, sad voice on me. Anna Winston would be the death of me... Sighing, I helped her off the couch. "How are you going to manage with those crutches?"

"I'll be fine."

"How about we get a wheelchair or something."

"What? No. I'd rather hop."

After loading all the necessities in the car — AKA, her crutches (which we wouldn't be needing anyway) — Anna and I boarded the Bullet. Emily had loaned me her car to practice driving, and I was actually getting better. It may have had a thing or two to do with Jared smacking me on the head for almost failing my test, but then, it also had to do with the practice. Practice makes perfect...

"AB Car, ready to go," I announced, putting the keys in the ignition and reaching over to buckle Anna in simultaneously.

"What about your seat belt?" she protested, frowning.

"I'm a werewolf, Anna."

"Fine, I'm taking mine off then. I'm dying — I shouldn't have to deal with seat-belts."

"I love you," I reminded her as I clicked her belt back in when she took it out.

"And I love you." Anna struggled to reach across me and yank the seat belt out of it's nook, but she managed it. It only took her thirty seconds. She clicked it into it's holder, and I didn't take it off.

"Okay, now we're ready. You can drive now," she proclaimed, smiling broadly.

-- -- -- --

**So...She's not liking hiking**

"**Hehe, you rhymed."**

**That I did.**

"**It was clever."**

**It was unintentional, but**

**I'm glad you appreciate it.**

"**Wow. We're getting along."**

**Quick! Insult me!**

"**Your...text is uglier than mine?"**

**Well fine! I'll just have to**

**kill you off then!**

"**WHAT THE HECK?!"**

**...**

"**Wait, you're not serious, right?"**

"Ugh. I hate twigs."

"'S not that bad. And why did you even want to go if you didn't want a shirt full of twigs?" We were leaning against a twig of a tree that seemed like it would snap if Seth _actually_ leaned on it, and I had what looked like a birds nest stuck in my brand new, really, _really_ comfy shirt. Seth was delicately plucking the little sticks from the back, but not fast enough for my liking. I started to tug on a stick, but he pushed my hand gently away and got it out for me in one smooth motion. Gosh. Seth and his supernaturalness...

"Can we get going?" I said, ignoring his question. "I'll walk around with sticks in my shirt all day if we find the trail again."

"We'd go quicker if you didn't have those crutches."

He was probably right, but I couldn't leave them here. Sure, I'd tripped a total of seven times because a crutch had gotten caught by a rock, but at least I wasn't hopping...

"Here. I've got an idea. Ditch the crutches, and I'll run back to the car really quick and put them back, then I'll carry you to the path."

"Why not just take me back to the car with you?"

"Oh, but that would take the fun out of everything. Wait right here." He pointed to a random spot on the ground.

"How 'bout here?" I asked, sinking down to the ground, leaning against the tree.

"Fine," he agreed, relieving me of my crutches and sprinting off. Superhumanness...

-- -- -- --

**So...He's OMG VAMPIRE AH!**

"**What?! WHERE?! **

**WHATTHEHELL!"**

**GO, GO, GO!**

"**Some WARNING would**

**have been nice!"**

**Too bad! Save your girlfriend!**

I threw the crutches in the back without really looking to see if they got into the car bed. I really wanted to get back to see Anna. She was all alone in the woods and tended to...well, tended to freak out. I felt right at home in the forest, but she was a little less than eager to listen to all the animals. She'd rather be watching them from afar than get a close look at them, which was fine. She just didn't understand that I could protect her from anything and everything. Anna needed to understand things like that so that we could do more fun things together and —

VAMPIRE!

The ripe scent hit my nose when I was halfway back to Anna. As I neared Anna, my hearing picked up voices talking — bargaining, more like it. My stomach lurched, and my hands started shaking. My legs kicked up tufts of dirt as I peeled off my shoes like stickers, pushing my toes into the dirt. We didn't wear socks for a reason, and we normally didn't wear sneakers. Today was special, though. Or it had been — now it was dangerous. I could finally hear what the voices were saying.

"Oh, c'mon, you don't really want to do that, d-do you?"

"Why, of course, you pretty, bald — wait, why are you bald again?"

"I have cancer...CANCER! Bad blood, you know, horrible, horrible blood. Really gross, chemo infested, you should ask some of the doctors at the hospital —"

"Shut up, you little —"

And then she called Anna the beloved B word. She called her a bitch.

I mentally saw Anna cringe, and then scoot back against the tree. I knew her well enough to gather that. But then I just felt the heat in my stomach spreading out to the corners of my fingertips, and sandy paws stretching out before me. Then,

"Seth, no!"

-- -- -- --

OH! I'm mean. OK. So the song I picked for this chapter is totally irrelevant, but it reminded me of Carlisle Cullen, so I decided it needed to be used.

Trust Me (I'm a Doctor) — Blizzards

They're an Irish band. Go Ireland! OK, you can eat me for leaving you like that, now.

Love, Allie


	37. BOOK TWO: FIFTEEN

Alrighty. So there was high demand for this chapter, and I felt bad leaving you guys like that (even though payback was sweet, Ashton), so here's the next chapter. It's got a crappy ending though, sorry...

Love, Allie

-- -- -- --

**So...She's got bad blood**

"**Shut up! At least**

_**I**_** was thinking."**

**What, I wasn't? I **

**wrote that entire scene!**

"**Suuuure."**

**ACK!**

"Seth, no!"

I didn't even know I said the words out loud. He couldn't fight a vampire! No! Not right here, with me worrying about him! This wasn't good. I watched as Angelica — we'd had a long, long talk while I stalled — screeched at Seth's impact, and then I couldn't tell what was happening anymore. I couldn't see who was winning, who was losing, who was bleeding (did vampires bleed?!), and who, ultimately, would walk away. I couldn't just sit there and watch.

Slowly, with the most caution I could muster, I slipped of my hiking boot, revealing my bare foot (socks were for squares). Making sure the laces were tied tight, I sat up a little, as I'd been slumped down on the tree, trying to get away from her too-cool breath. I clutched the hiking boot, but I couldn't do anything with it.

Then it flew out from the mess that was Seth and Angelica.

A small, white stick.

A finger.

I shrieked, inching desperately away from the finger, which was _moving_. Ugh, it was still moving! Then, in a moment of sheer braveness, I picked up the finger and bent it the opposite way. Nothing happened at all, but I was sure my fingers were going to be bruised from the amount of force I put into trying to snap it. My boot lay forgotten for a second, but then I picked it up, and decided on my actions in a split second.

With a gasp, I chucked the boot at the pile of vampire and werewolf.

I heard a grunt of confusion from Seth, who quickly looked away from his dilemma to spot my boot, then me, and roll his eyes before taking to _ripping off Angelica's arm._ I was slightly pleased my boyfriend was ripping Angelica limb from limb, but I felt a stab of sympathy, even though her blood red eyes had been hungrily looking at my neck, where I could _feel _my own pulse...

With a metallic ripping noise, I watched another arm fling away and hit a tree, which quaked. The dent left in the tree was stripped of bark, and that frightened me. I decided to take shelter behind a tree, as it wouldn't be good if one of those limbs hit _me_.

Closing my eyes, I tried desperately to tune out the fight.

The next thing I knew, I was being tapped on the shoulder. The horrible screeching had stopped.

I was too afraid to open my eyes.

"Anna?" It was Leah.

"L-Lee?" Why was Leah here?

"Anna, I'm going to take you home. Seth called me, just after the bloodsucker left. He said you passed out or something, and he needed to go follow her, but he couldn't leave you. How do you feel?"

I started shaking, then I let out a horrified sob.

"Anna! Jeez..." Leah scooped me up into her arms, and then, after the shock of being picked up wore off, I started sobbing again, this time into her shoulder. She sighed, and then we were jogging casually through the forest.

"How — can you — how can you guys not get hurt?!" I asked in disbelief.

"We do, sometimes, but you just never see it. Werewolf healing stuff. I'm not sure who's at Sam and Emily's, because that's where you two would have been heading anyway — they said they wanted to tell everyone something — but anyway, you should probably wipe you eyes and stuff. It might be important," she said with a bitter note in her voice.

"Okay..." I feebly raised a hand to wipe my eyes clear, and then she dropped me down, and I noticed Emily's car, parked where we left it. Leah's pickup was parked just behind it, and she led me, taking on most of my weight, to the passenger side.

Climbing into the truck, I didn't even have the energy to buckle. I just leaned my head back and sighed, trying to get out of my head the images of Seth fighting of Angelica. Ugh...It was honestly impossible for me to forget the look in that vampire's eyes. Were all vampires like that? I was happy for werewolves existing — honestly, truly happy.

-- -- -- --

**So...He's LAAAATE**

"**Am not."**

**Are too.**

"**Am not."**

**Are too.**

"**Fine! I was chewing**

**on little tiny pieces of **

**Angelica that got stuck**

**in my teeth when I shredded**

**the living (living?) daylights**

**out of her. Happy?"**

**...you're feeeky.**

"**Nice spelling."**

**I CAN KILL YOU!**

"**Good to know."**

**(There, Violetbreeze, not you**

**can't say I only threaten**

**Anna with Death. Wow, this**

**is looooong...)  
**

It was scary stuff, messing with vampires.

I lit a match, trying to avoid the cloud of sick-smelling smoke that came off of the vampire's burning remains. Ew, that was just horrible to think about. Burning remains — who says stuff like that? Me, the freak who couldn't control himself enough to reason with a vampire. Stupid, stupid, stupid... Anna and I could have ended up like Emily and Sam, and it was all because I got angry over a vampire trying to eat my gir—OK, that wasn't working out in my favor. I was justified for getting angry at said vampire. But, I should have had self control. I really hoped Leah had remembered to pick Anna up.

Shoot.

I was supposed to be at Sam and Emily's place.

But you can't just leave a vampire fire burning in the middle of the woods!

"C'mon, Seth, what would Smoky do..."

He'd put out the fire with his bear-like superpowers. Or at least that's how I learned about Smoky the bear. He was a bear that flew around and put out wild fires.

It was when a breeze came by that I realized just how uncomfortable it was to be naked in the middle of the woods in the cold. Not that it was cold for me... It would have been nicer if I wasn't standing in front of the ashes of a girl vampire. That was a bit awkward. Nobody really knew what happened to vampires after they died...

Or, "died".

Could vampires die?

Did I care?

Not really.

Kicking at the fire with waves of dirt, I managed to quell the flames to just little burning embers. Smoky would forgive me for that one.

I burst into a ball of light and fur, and then I wasn't even me. I was the sandy-pawed, graceful werewolf that didn't trip or get awkward moments.

_Man, Emily's pissed at you._ Embry's voice filled my head.

_Really? I'd think that she was beyond that by now. The temper on that woman..._ Jared joined him.

_I wouldn't be talking,_ I put in, racing towards home. _It seems like you're just on your way, too. Kim won't be happy._

_Probably not, but I can live with it for a little while. She likes to forgive people._

_I sure hope so, for your sake, bud. She clawed me in the car the other day —_

_Because you deserved it —_

_Seth got clawed by a guuuuuuurl, Seth got clawed by a —_

I phased to get the voices out of my head, and also because I was at my car. There was a pair of jeans on the front steps — Leah could be totally nonchalant about that kind of thing, but this was obvious— so I pulled them on hopped in the car, driving down the road to Emily's house.

When the house was in view, I parked the car and walked the rest of the way there, strode in through the front door, not bothering to knock. The scene consisted of most of the pack, excluding Jared (Embry was walking through the back door) and all the imprint girls. Anna was sitting on a chair, guarded carefully by Kim and Leah. Jeez, the girls were overprotective.

"Finally," complained Emily, stepping out of the kitchen-nook-thingy and towering under me. Which, in itself was a feat, considering that she was indeed under me. It's not an easy thing to tower beneath someone... "You took long enough."

Her face was reddish with the anger that came with her words. She looked ready to punch me.

"Sorry I didn't take a minute to call ahead and say I'd be late, I was only fighting a vampire and trying not to kill _every_ tree along the way."

Yeah, I'd killed a tree.

People needed to learn to deal with it.

"Whatever," she dismissed, sulking off.

"JARED!" Kim shrieked, leaving her "post" next to Anna to leap into Jared's not-waiting arms.

"Jeez!" he exclaimed, seeing Kim sprint full force at him. She made a jump, and he caught her (darn) just in time. She smiled, kissing his neck. "Can I have some warning next time?"

Colin threw a fork at them. Of course he'd be eating. "Jeez, no kissing!"

"It's like you're trying to suck up each others' stomachs!"

"Is that even possible?" asked Kim with wide eyes.

I smirked. "Yeah. Better be careful, Kimmy."

"WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT —"

But Emily cleared her throat daintily, and then Sam threw out a menacing look, so we all shut up, and I took a position near Anna, our hands automatically sliding into their normal places in each others' grasp.

"We have decided," said Emily fancily. "On the date of our wedding!"

The woman broke at the end, excitement flooding into her tone, causing her to squeak.

Claire clapped. "We-DING! Ding? Wike a bewl...ding! Ding downgah!"

"Ding dong!" put in Quil enthusiastically.

I threw a quick glance towards my sister. She looked a bit pale, but she was smiling. It seemed a little too happy to be real, but she put it up.

"Good for you, Em," she smiled wider.

"Thanks," said Emily, and the single syllable was ringing with her thanks.

"So what's the date?" asked Anna.

"Three weeks!" Emily squealed.

Leah's smile faded. I could understand why — she didn't even get a month to mentally prepare herself.

"Okay, if you're not eating here, you can go." Sam sounded like he wanted everyone to go that didn't live here.

"'Kay. C'mon Anna," I said, tugging her up. She looked a little jolted, but followed — limped — after me. I remembered the leg cast, disguising and arm-throw-over-the-shoulder with a wave to the rest of the pack. They all waved back, even little Claire.

"Okay. So, I have this burning question," I announced when we were both settled in the car and driving towards her house.

"What is it?" she asked.

"What would Smoky the bear do if he saw a fire?"

"He'd put it out —"

"—with his bear powers?"

"...huh?"

"With his —"

"Smoky the Bear doesn't have powers, Seth," Anna clarified.

"Leah is a liar!"

"Thats okay," smiled Anna. "I like you're Smoky the Bear better."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

We locked lips, and I felt Anna smile against mine.

She broke the embrace. "What kind of powers?" she asked lightly. "Just how creative is Leah?"

"...I don't wanna talk about it..."

-- -- -- --

Yay! It ended happy for almost all involved (but Leah, who's sort of freaking out)

Yeah, again, too lazy for a song.

Love, Allie


	38. BOOK TWO: SIXTEEN

Urg. Sorry guys, this chapter got deleted, so I had to re-write the entire thing. Not fun, let me tell you. So I'm sorry that this update took so long to get up. Maybe this chapter will be better than the one I wrote before it! And a side note: For those of you who read, "In a Manner of Speaking" by Momentarily Infinite, just remember that this is set after it's events, because of the plotline and stuff. I really love her story, and I wanted a way to honor it, but I don't want to screw anything up for either of our stories. They aren't really connected, her's is just plugged into mine.

**WARNING! BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS IN THE CHAPTER. FOR AN EDITED VERSION, PM ME AND I'LL SEND YOU ONE!**

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So...He's Not Best Man**

"**So? I totally don't care."**

**Yes you do.**

"**Do not."**

**You can tell me, Seth.**

**You're allowed to cry.**

"**R-Really?"**

**Really.**

Anna was usually an early riser, but after all the trouble with the wedding Emily had been having her help out with, she kept sleeping later and later. I was sprawled across her couch, reading an old magazine — "Teen Mag — What do boys really think?" (Sounded interesting) — when she finally hobbled out, hopping sleepily on one foot. She was still wearing hello-kitty pajamas, and when she looked up, she made a tiny sound of shock. Her eyes were still bleary from sleep, but I could see she was a bit surprised to see me.

"'Morning, Seth," she said, flopping down on an armchair in the living room.

"G'Morning," I greeted, straightening up and nonchalantly throwing the magazine behind the couch. "How you sleep?"

"Terrible," she yawned. "Emily's got _me_ worried about the wedding now."

"We don't have to go, you know."

She paused, looking up at me in surprise. Then awareness crept over her features. "You didn't get picked for best man, did you?"

I sighed, "Nope."

"Oh, Seth..." She hopped from her spot on the armchair to the spot right next to me and wound her arms around my neck, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, I know how much that meant to you..."

"Not, really, it's fine with me. I don't mind that Sam chose Jared and Paul. 'Sides, I don't even really like him that much."

"Me either. I'd say we skip the wedding all together, but..."

"But what?"

"Emily's asked me to be a brides maid with Kim and Leah, on account of the fact that she doesn't have any sisters. Only a brother — Claire's dad."

I sat in shock for a moment. "But wait, then she's got _three_ bridesmaids, which means — that jerk! Do you know Embry's phone number?"

"No, but he's in your contacts." Anna tried to get up to get my phone, but I was already across the room, rifling through the pockets in the pocket-shirt I brought (in case, y'know, Anna's dad came home from work for something.) My phone had to be in there somewhere...—aha! Pressing the end button, my phone came to life. It was a really, really old phone, so it still had...an antenna. I never pulled it out, though. I was saving up for a new phone, anyway. Looking through my contacts, I found that Anna was right — Embry's number was right there. I clicked call and held the phone to my ear.

"Yellow?"

"What?"

"Seth?"

"Yeah," I said impatiently.

"Whassuuuuuuuup? You never call me anymore, what —"

"Are you, or are you not one of Sam's best men?"

There was a pause on the one end of the phone. "Seth, don't be mad —"

"I'm not. I just wanted to know."

"Mmmhmm..."

"Okay, bye."

"B—"

I clicked off the phone before he could finish.

"Do you guys always talk so loud?" asked Anna indignantly. "I heard the whole thing. You wouldn't make a very good soldier, they have to be really quiet when they're out on missions and stuff."

"Yeah, we always talk loud." The truth was, we really didn't always speak with such volume. Well, that was partially a lie. We were loud and obnoxious — no one could deny that. But, there were times when we spoke quietly.

"Awh, don't be down," Anna pleaded, and I had to smile.

She smiled back. "That's better," she concluded.

---------------- --------------- ---------------- ---------------

**So...She's trying to cheer him up...**

**By taking him to Emily's.**

**Wow.**

"**Hey! It sounded like a good**

**idea at the time. Don't you**

**harp on me!"**

**Have you got a death wish?**

"**...nice question to ask the dying girl."**

**No one asked you.**

"**...? You just did!"**

**What? I have no idea what**

**you're talking about.**

"**GAH!"**

"Hi, Em!"

"Hi!" chorused Emily and Embry, who both shot each other, than me, death glares.

"Don't _call_ me Em," said Embry angrily.

"I was speaking to Emily, but hi Embry."

"Hi, Annabelle!" He seemed visibly cheered by my not-calling-him-Em.

"Anna, we've got to talk."

"Alrighty then," I replied to Emily. Seth was sulking behind me, though our hands were still wrapped together.

"Kat is going to be the bridesmaid."

I stood for a moment, but then, covering up my stupidity, I nodded. "Okay, then."

"You — you're not mad?"

"Nope."

Emily sighed in relief. "Okay, but I still want you in the wedding. I've decided to make you flower-girl with Claire."

Wait. What?

"Huh?"

I heard a hoot of laughter from the kitchen and guessed it was Paul.

"Claire and Caitlin are flower girls too."

"Let me guess, Caitlin's seven?"

"Hey! She's eight, I'll have you know."

Seth didn't look generally pleased with the new arrangement, but I gave his hand a warning squeeze, telling him without words to keep his mouth shut. Whatever made Emily happy on her wedding day was fine with me.

"And...I'm not sure if...the Cullens are coming from New Hampshire or not. I'm not sure...If so, then Renesmee's going to be a flower girl, too. So that's four."

So Emily was going for an extravagant wedding. I figured that from her wedding plans. She was the kind of girl who, probably like Kim, had planned her wedding since she was seven. Kim, however, already had a dream groom in mind at the time. From what I'd heard, she'd been crushing on Jared since grade-school. Emily may not have seemed like it to me at first — she seemed shy and motherly and homey, not big and extravagant and shmancy-fancy — but now that I _really_ knew her, I knew that she was the girl who dressed up Barbie Dolls and had dolly-weddings on a daily basis.

"Okay then, Emily."

"Yay! This wedding is going to be _perfect_ !"

I don't think anybody noticed Leah in the background with her face in her hands but me.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

Yay! OK. This is really short, but that's only because I didn't have internet, and there wasn't much to say in this chapter, truth be told. The next chapter, I assure you, will come much sooner and will be ready for you to read soon.

**QUESTION! OK, should I bring the Cullens to the wedding? You know I love your feedback! **

Love, Allie


	39. BOOK TWO: SEVENTEEN

FrickerMcFirterfritter.

I owe you all an eNORMOUS apology.

Yes, that "e" was meant to be lower case.

I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY'IMSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY

I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY

_!!!!_

That doesn't cover how sorry I am.

But I hope it conveys some of it to you.

**BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER!**

**PM ME FOR A BREAKING-DAWN FREE VERSION!**

**Thank you.**

OI! And thanks to amp2013 for the ideas that helped me write this chapter. She got me to post this, along with my friends, Maddie and Lauren — and Lorri, for recently coming back and reading my story after stopping for a while (it's hard to keep up with fanfiction — I should know.) And you! Reviewers! You have no idea how much you brighten my day with your kind reviews. Thanks!

Love, Allie

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- -----------------

**So...She's a Werewolf**

"**I'm a boy."**

"**I believe she was**

**refferring to me."**

"**Lee?"**

**Seth, go away.**

**No one wants you here.**

"**Finally! Someone who**

**I can get along with!"**

"**Hey! As your brother,**

**I resent that."**

**This is confusing.**

**Seth. Leave.**

"**Is he gone?"**

**I don't know.**

**Lets talk about**

**girl stuff. So, OMG**

**Zac Efron totally is a...'s**

**He gone?**

"**Yup."**

I was doing my very best not to sock my cousin in the face.

So far, I'd been highly successful.

I'd only made sure that I kept Kim nice and close. She, however, was oblivious to her protection of me. I don't think she really noticed how visibly upset I was — she probably thought it was just the fact that I had to walk down the isle with Paul — Paul, my pack brother, who'd seen me phase and unphase and had heard my thoughts and.... (I'm careful not to bore myself with the detailed list, thanks.) I tried not to be bitter about it — really, I did. So it was easy to deny I'd broken his nose at the rehearsal dinner last night when no one was looking. Not that anyone really believed me, but Sam was too caught up in being a man — Emily's man — to push any punishment. He'd only ordered us all, as the alpha, to behave the night after that dinner.

Damn. It wasn't even my own will-power not to completely ruin my cousin's life that was keeping me from punching someone.

Kim was fastening Emily's bow that hid the baby-bump I was positive was there. The belted bow pulled her stomach tight and looked awful taught — I felt bad for the little Samuel Jr or Hayley-Marie or whatever the hell she wanted to name her kid. If it was me, the kid would be Cadence or Samuel, and if we had another boy, it would have been Joshua. That's how planned out our lives would have been. Three kids, hopefully two boys and a little girl, married, happy, front porch, zero drama. Just bliss. But that wasn't what mattered now — what mattered was that Emily was looking at me and saying something and I had no idea what she had said. I nodded to whatever she was asking me.

"You forgot the bouquets?!"

"What? No! They're on the chair." I gestured with my hand to the velvet chair that had the three bouquets sitting on them, and then Emily's bouquet, much larger than the others. I heard a thump in the background, followed by a delighted shriek, and a moan.

"Claire! Please, be nice, this is hard enou—sorry, Emily, she knocked over a vase..." Kat appeared from behind an enormous mirror, Claire tucked under her arm.

"Where's Caitl—," I was cut off by a frighteningly loud smash.

"Caitlin, no!"

Claire was placed not-so-lightly on the floor as Kat dashed off to go find out what else had been broken. Under her watch, it seemed like the girls had a chance at destroying the little chapel dressing room yet.

"Hi, Claire," I greeted.

"Hiiiiiii," she replied.

"I hear you've been going to speech."

"Yeyah. Claire doesn't like it bewy much."

"It sounds like you're talking better, though." Claire's mother and Quil had agreed that, being five, Claire needed to "learn how to talk like a big girl". She was now having speech three times a week, and had to quit one of her dance classes. The pudgy little girl was pouting.

"I tawked fine befowre."

"But now you're talking even better! Listen to how well you speak!"

There was a knock on the door, that cut off Claire answer. She thought for a moment, then screeched, "I'LL GEDDIT!"

"No, Claire!"

I didn't know how fast the little girl could run.

Samuel Uley stood in the doorway.

"SHIELD THE BRIDE!" yelled Kim, diving in front of Emily. Kat was quick to follow, tugging Caitlin by the hand. I stayed where I was, though wished I could sink back into the wall. Emily's bright blue bridesmaid dress did not compliment my figure. Not that I really cared.

His intent gaze made me blush, but I realized a second too late that he was staring at the shielded Emily.

"Ready?" he asked, and his tone was colored with passionate love. I tried not to puke.

"Mmm," she sighed. "Kim, can you move?"

"Not a chaaaaaance!" she sang.

I had to crack a smile. "Em, you'd better get down there if you want to see the light of day. Kim won't budge."

Emily looked thankful for my approval, though masked as it came.

Besides, if I ever wanted peace to cry to myself, she'd have to leave the room. I was far to proud to cry in front of an audience, and even I knew that. I wouldn't even let myself cry at my dad's funeral, if that tells you anything. Me and my mom...we're tough ones, but softies when we're alone. Seth was the glue for us, I guess. _That must have worn on him..._

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So...She's a flower girl**

"**Did we not mention that**

**in the last chapter?"**

**Are you an author?**

"**No."**

**Then shut it and let me**

**write my chapter.**

**Please.**

"**Yeah, because 'please'**

**makes it polite."**

**Really?**

**You're very ugly, please.**

"**..."**

I was standing in a line of little kids. One was five, one was seven, and the other looked like a very old six year old or a very young eight year old. Renesmettalie **(inside joke, you could probably find it on youtube, though...)**, I think they called her_. _Apparently, she was half-vampire, half-human, or something. But she was very ringlets, and she had pretty brown eyes. She was here with a few of the Cullens.

They couldn't _all _make it.

A big one, with bands of big, scary muscles had come with his blond, amazingly gorgeous wife/girlfriend/mate... And then, I guess you couldn't count Jacob Black as a Cullen. Him and I had become briefly acquainted while he helped Renesamie-street into her dress. It amused me, what parents could name their children. Some of the names were charming, almost as charming as Renes-whatever hereself, but others...they just scared me, with all the apostrophes and such. But it didn't matter — it wasn't like I was in the children naming business.

We were all dressed in baby-blue. The theme was blue and silver and white. The bridesmaids got to wear dark blue, and we wore a light, sky blue, frilly dress. Mine was a bit different, since I was originally supposed to be a bridesmaid, and they didn't make flower-girl dresses in my size (I wonder why...) And so, I got a bridesmaid dress, and it was a little less frilly, and a little more stupid looking. Dresses, apparently, weren't my thing when they didn't come with a tutu.

The little girls, apart from Renessie, had their hair in ringlets (the vampire/human one had natural curls). They all had flowers in their hair.

I wore a type of turban-thingy.

It didn't suit me.

It was pale blue, with flowers printed on it.

Waiting behind the door, with all the bridesmaids and Emily, with all their _hair_, and their _real flowers_, I felt, for the first time in a very long time, jealous. I was jealous of their life, and their health, and their vitality. I felt like I was low on platelets — It was easy to tell, now that I'd already needed a transfusion before. They were buzzing with excitement and happiness (well, maybe not Leah.) I was trying not to cry (me and Leah were on the same boat today, but for different reasons.)

The doors swung open.

I closed up. Standing behind Emily, I closed my eyes and put on a fake, happy, believable smile. Almost genuine...

All of the bridesmaids walked out, and they did so with the best men. Everyone took their places. Everyone fit somewhere. Everyone had a place.

There were the vampires (and their baby.)

There were the imprints.

There were the unsuspecting human relatives.

And there was me — sick, dying imprint extraordinaire.

Sick.

Dying.

_Dying._

I remembered a book I'd read, before all of this had happened to me, before I'd found myself spiralling downhill, before everyone had promised me that chemotherapy would make me better, that surgery would take out most of the cells that were multiplying. _"Before I Die"_, by Jenny Downham. I was reminded of a quote. "We're born dying." It was true. I was born with a time bomb strapped to my chest. We all were. Everyone had an expiration date, and mine was almost up. And I knew it, deep in my heart, I'd know it all along! It was insanity!

And I was wasting my time with a wedding.

I was wasting my time.

Whole seconds, hours, days, weeks...

Did I have months?

Years?

Could I even _ask_ for years?

I had to go live. The room felt colder.

But then, we were all walking forward, and I was walking, stiff-legged (my new leg-brace-walking-cast helped with that), numbly throwing flowers in Emily's wake, while the younger girls threw the flowers before her. Lilies. Purity. I wasn't going to be pure anymore.

I was going to take action, and die happy.

Even if it killed me.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

So. I think I'll update very soon.

Love, Allie


	40. BOOK TWO: EIGHTEEN

Yay! We just got a lap-top, so this will be the first chapter of MALiGNANCE that's typed on it. I owe you all a huge apology. I shouldn't have taken so long for this to go up, so I'm hoping that this nice big long chapter will help you forgive me. It's not even that big, but still. It's more than I normally post. Things got in the way or me posting this, but I hope you forgive me.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ---------------

**So… she's… awh, screw it.**

**I take it your**

**Plan will be put**

**Into action quite soon?**

"**Sure. Let's go with that."**

**Mmmhmm.**

"**Sweet. We're not**

**Arguing."**

**It's Em's special day.**

"**Ugh. Don't remind me."**

"Quick, c'mere, Anna! Emily's throwing her bouquet!"

"Oh, joy. Let's go see, then."

I was dragged by my hand to go see Emily, standing in her white dress, her back turned to her audience. There was a blue rose bouquet in her hands. She turned around, smiled at me, then threw the bouquet in my general direction. It came straight for me, so I stepped out of the way. The thing I didn't expect? Seth, who was right behind me, caught it.

"Oh my god, no way!" he said in his best impersonation of a girl. Emily was fuming. Walking over and snatching back her bouquet, she walked back over to the spot where she had been standing previously.

"All people with the name Seth should clear the area," she warned before angrily chucking the bouquet away from her.

When I turned around, Leah was standing, dumbfounded, with the bouquet of flowers clutched tightly in her hands.

"Uh…third time's the charm?" she whispered, looking for someone to dump the bouquet on.

"Oh, no." Kim was grinning from ear to ear. "It's yours, now."

And then she started yelling in a sing-song voice, "LEAH'S GETTING MARRIED, LEAH'S GETTING —"

"Kim!" Leah blushed, putting a hand over her mouth. That was followed by an, "OUCH!" as Kim proceeded to bite Leah.

Leah looked up, then froze. I followed her gaze across the room, where some guy with a red hat was entering. Her eyes stayed locked on him, and he looked up. The jolt that racked through Leah surprised me.

"Lee?"

"Oh…oh god. No. No. No."

"Leah, what is it?" Kim looked worried. The party had continued on, but we seemed separate. Seth had even gone to cheer on Jacob, who was chugging egg-nog (hey, it was almost Christmas…) But we all watched Leah as she watched that man over there. She looked like she was going into hysterics.

"No, no, no!" she chanted, and then she bolted in the direction of the bathroom, short bob of hair looking jostled in her hurry. Her blue bridesmaid dress stayed intact; though I was sure it would get caught on something if she ran any faster. Maybe she'd phase right out of it.

"Leah, whatthehell?" Kim was in close pursuit, so I followed, jogging lightly. I ripped the turban-thing from my head, and it billowed off into the Renesmena girl's face. She batted at it, smiling.

We found Leah in the bathroom, sitting in a locked stall with her feet up on the toilet.

"Leah, what's your deal?"

"Kim, shut up." Her voice sounded weak and vulnerable.

"Leah, you can tell us," I promised, trying to peek over the stall.

"Leah, spit it out!"

"Kim, shut up!"

"TELL ME —"

"I IMPRINTED!" she finally shrieked, breaking out into a wave of sobbing.

"Oh, Leah, that's wonderful!" Kim sounded gleeful. Now we were all sort of tied together — or at least that's what her logic must have been.

"No! I thought I wanted to imprint, but no! Now…it's horrible! I'm trapped!"

Was Seth trapped, too?

"Trapped?" I asked bluntly.

"I have to love him now!"

So, Seth had to love me?

"No, Leah, this is really good! Let's go meet him," Kim encouraged.

"No," Leah and I both said at the same time. I added, "Give Leah a minute. This has got to be sort of shocking."

"No, ya think?" She was pretty pissed-off. But more so, she was frightened.

"Kim, maybe you should go back and enjoy the party."

"Well, if you say so…"

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So…She joined the Club!**

"**Am I supposed to get**

**Some kind of badge or**

**Something?"**

**No. All you get is the**

**Satisfaction of knowing**

**You have someone you**

**Can spend your entire**

**Life with.**

"**Wonderful."**

"Leah."

"Mmm?" I didn't really want to talk to Anna, but then, I really did want to talk to her, too.

"It would be easier to talk if you came out of the stall."

"I'm not ready for that."

We were silent for a while. That was the great thing about Anna --- she didn't really push people to talk. I guess we were both much more content in just sitting there in the uncomfortable silence that wasn't entirely uncomfortable.

"What if he doesn't like me?" My voice betrayed my fear, and it almost broke at the end. I was stronger than that, though.

"Leah, of course he'll like you."

"What if he's got some life-threatening illness?" I couldn't stop the question from coming out — what if I ended up just like Seth and Anna, only reversed?

"Then you'll just have to go out and imprint again. Or invent a cure."

"I can't do either of those. Imprinting only happens once."

This seemed a little shocking to Anna. I could hear her utter surprise even in the silence.

"Once?" she said, and she covered up her bewilderment pretty well.

"What, did you think that we could go along and imprint as many times as we wanted? That if our first one died, we could just go off and imprint again? It doesn't work that way, Anna."

Maybe she thought that, when she died – if she died – Seth would go find another girl. Maybe she wanted it to happen.

Maybe I wanted it to happen.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So…He's missing his**

**Imprint.**

"**And my sister."**

**That's peachy-keen, eh?**

"**Eh."**

**How's that working**

**Out for you, Seth?**

"**Eh. Not 's good, man."**

**I'm a girl.**

"**I see."**

"Where is Anna?"

I looked around and saw Renesmee holding Anna's wrap.

The little girl rose to her feet — she'd been sitting in Jacob's lap while he sat in a chair, wolfing down steak — and crossed the short expanse, reaching out to me with her hand. I picked her up, and she pressed her hand to my cheek.

My vision was filled with a picture of the wrap fluttering down, and then a hand reaching out to grab it. There was a loud giggle, and then the vision of the memory-bearer shifted upwards just in time to see a smallish-looking girl run into the bathroom. She was bald.

Renesmee removed her hand from my cheek, then smiled. I set her down, and she ran back to Jacob, who popped a bit of steak in her mouth. She chewed, debated, made a face, then spit it into Jacob's hand, much to his amusement.

I was already running towards the girl's bathroom though.

I pounded on the door. "Everyone decent?"

I heard a sniffle. "No, Seth, we're having a stripping party. Go away."

"Ah, Lee. Always the jokester. Now let me in, please."

"No."

"Man!" I said, in an "aw-shucks" way.

It was then something dawned on me. It wasn't as though she could lock the door. They could only lock stalls.

I barged in.

"Ouch, Seth!"

Regret immediately washed through me. Anna had been barricading the door, and now she was smushed into a wall.

"Oh, dude! Sorry, sorry," I said, coming to her aid quite quickly. She leaned into me, and I relished the contact. Always surprising, Anna was. Even when I pushed her into a wall with a door, she wasn't totally mad.

"So, anyone want to enlighten me to the situation?"

"Not in particular," came Leah's voice from the stall farthest from me."

"Leah imprinted," Anna blurted out.

"ANNA!" came Leah's voice, which reverberated inside from a bathroom stall.

"I'm sorry! I can't keep a secret!"

"You…crap."

"Crap is right," Leah answered my words harshly.

"Well…do you know his name?"

"Yeah, he came in here and introduced himself."

"Really?"

"No! If you haven't noticed, we're in a GIRLS BATHROOM. Didn't you see the sign?"

"Yes, I did," I replied, because I had seen the sign.

"So, what do we do?" Anna's voice was tinged with nervousness as she crossed the room, heading back towards the door.

What did we do? Well, what could we do? I wasn't as if someone could un-imprint. What was Leah so worked up about, anyway? She'd only found her soul-mate. She should be happy, right? Not contemplating fleeing the country, as I'm sure she was. If I knew my sister well – which I did – then she was probably finding every and any way out that she could. Leah liked to run – it was why she was one of the fastest in the pack. My sister was the one who wanted to get out of our little family when my dad died.

"Leah, you just imprinted. It's not the end of the world. Really – you're acting as if it's a bad thing."

"It is! I'm trapped!" She sounded so utterly scared that I thought about her words more than I normally would have. Trapped. Was I trapped? No way. I loved Anna. How come Leah didn't want to be in love? It was great. The best feeling in the world, who didn't want to be in love? But was love a trap? No way. No freaking way. I loved Anna, and I didn't feel trapped at all.

"Leah, you aren't trapped. Love is great, love is –"

"Seth, cut the crap. I'll be fine…"

"Then let's go and meet 'im."

"W-What?" She looked positively horrified by the notion.

"You don't want to meet him?"

"I – I couldn't. I can't!"

"Alright, well you can sit in this bathroom all day –"

There was another bang on the door, a squeak from Anna as she was, again, shoved into the wall. Jared was bigger than I was, and so he wouldn't have even registered that there was someone behind the door. He spotted Kim, sitting on the counter of the bathroom, and sighed in relief, and jumped up on the counter to sit beside her, entwining his arm around her neck. She leaned into him, looking grateful. I glared at Jared, as did Leah. He was unwelcome, as of now.

Before the door could even swing shut, though, Embry was through it, dragging a girl with brown hair that fell just above her shoulders along behind him. She looked up, took in everyone in the bathroom, spotted Kim, then smiled.

Obviously, Kim was very popular tonight.

"I take it you found her, Jared?"

Jared nodded at Embry's words. Embry took this as an invitation and jumped up on the bathroom counter. "So, what are we talking about?"

The door swung shut, and little Anna popped out, looking sort of beaten up. You couldn't really not look beaten up when you'd been hit by a door three times. Plus, the baldness helped enhance the image. She stepped out into the open, though, and crossed her arms, her lips sealed tightly.

I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She breathed outwards, leaning into me, barely weight.

"Lee imprinted," explained Kim.

"Eh?" said Paul from the corner of the room.

Wait, what the frick?

"Paul, where the hell did you come from…"

Anna looked bewildered as her eyes flew to the origin of Paul's voice. She obviously wasn't very good at guarding doors.

"It's not hard to get past your girlfriend, Seth."

"Shut up," I growled.

"Anyway, onto Leah's…'situation': quit being a coward and go out and talk to him."

"Choice words, Paul," Leah retorted harshly.

"I'm a coward? At least I had the nerve to talk to Rachael when I saw her."

"That's easier," Leah argued. "She's Jake's sister. I have no idea who this guy is."

"Hence the need to go meet him?"

Before Leah could respond, the door barged open once more. Anna cringed, and I was grateful that she'd left her post at the door. Emily stormed in, scowling.

"You, you, you, and you," she said, pointing to myself, Jared, Paul, and Embry. "Out. And I'd suggest you girls do the same."

Emily turned on her heel, then left. Leah, from inside her stall sighed. There was a tiny click, then she stepped slowly out, wiping her eyes.

"Lets go, then."

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

Ugh, again, soooooo sorry. I feel that the review button has been getting lonely without a new chapter to coax you to review. Flames are welcome, because I deserve them.

Love, Allie


	41. BOOK TWO: NINETEEN

Ehkay, hop on the mega-crazy-I'm-pumping-out-chapters-like-there's-no-tomorrow train. I got tons of reviews (most of which I still need to reply to, so I'll be skimping out on the long-gone ones) about red-hat boy, so this chapter will be delving into the depths of the already very, VERY deep character that is red-hat boy.

PS! I'm proud of the length of this. Yussssssss.

**BAH. THERE IS MENTION OF S-E-X in this chapter. If you don't want to read about it, I'm sorry. I'm not going into graphic lemons – they don't do ANYTHING in this chapter. Just letting you know it's implied that she's trying to seduce Seth.**

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So...She's Leah Clearwater**

"**Wow. What originality."**

**Hey! People said they were**

**getting confused. I figured I**

**would make it painfully**

**obvious who's POV it was.**

"**OK. Can't argue with**

**that logic."**

**My Point Exactly.**

The bathroom smelled, so I was quite relieved when I opened the door and caught a whiff of the party. Wolf senses do come in handy. I could smell the alcohol, the wedding cake, and the perspiration of every body in the room. Okay, so the enhanced senses don't come in handy all the time. But sweat was better than the smell of a clogged toilet any-day. I stepped out of the bathroom, looking confident and clean with my blue dress and neat, short hair, but I felt like an ugly duckling who couldn't fly anywhere to get away from everyone and everything and all of her stupid problems. I couldn't feel any less confident, now could I?

I could see where most people were surprised that I was upset about the imprinting thing. Really, I did. It wasn't long ago that I'd wished that I would just get on with it and find the love of my life. But, when it happened, I felt like I got my foot stuck in a bear trap. Exaggeration — I felt tethered to this boy with a red hat on. Red hat, brown eyes. That was all I'd had time to register, besides the minute details of each trait. The red hat was a beanie, and it was loosely knit together — as though his mom has crocheted it for him. And his eyes?

Now, everyone loves to talk about eyes. His eyes were pools of quivering blue that reflected his emotions perfectly and — well, thats the way everyone loves to describe eyes. I wish that I could say his eyes were just brown. Truly, nothing would please me more. But they weren't just _brown_. They were, well, _BROWN._ Like, dark chocolate brown. They were smooth and dreamy and damn! Why had I run into the bathroom when I could have stared at his eyes?

Seth followed close behind me. He wasn't shorter than me anymore, and I missed that. I hated being tall. Really, I did. But it helped that the entire pack was taller than me. Anna was underneath his arm, looking battered and bruised. I felt bad — I should have been the one holding the door closed, but she hadn't even said a word about blocking any doors. She'd just barricaded it shut. It hadn't done much, buuuut...

"Ready, Lee-lee?"

"Oh, yes, of course," I said, trying to sound sarcastic. It sounded like I was trying not to scream.

"Oh, you'll be fine!" cooed Kim. She was smug, underneath all of her obvious cuteness.

My eyes had been tilted towards the ground, so I brought them upwards. There was a little jolt when I saw him. Red-hat boy. His skin was tanned, just like mine.

He had the most perfect face you'd ever imagine. It was so pretty it hurt. I was briefly reminded of my bear-trap simile, but I shoved the thought to the side. He had prominent cheek bones and sharp features that, though sharp, blended with each other. He reminded me vaguely of Ben Barnes. But then, the minor facial resemblance was where the Ben Barnes thoughts stopped, because the actor had nothing on this boy. His face was more perfect than anything I'd ever seen. OK, so I was sort of gushing (internally, of course) but c'mon. He was the epitome of perfect.

He was sitting at a table with a group of people I didn't know by face, but I did know by name (which was sort of weird). I knew one as Sam's Aunt on his mom's side, and the man sitting next to her was most likely her husband. There was a little girl on the man's lap who was probably their daughter, and then there was Red-Hat boy. His mother was glaring at him while his father was laughing. Sam's Aunt reached across the table and snatched up her son's hat, revealing a mop of brown hair, almost the same length as mine (maybe shorter), though shaggier. He frowned, reached for his hat, but his mother had already stuffed it securely inside her purse.

"Go talk to him, Lee!" encouraged Kim.

"What the hell am I supposed to say?"

"Go flirt!"

"E-Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean," said Kim, obviously displeased. "Put the moves on that boy!"

"I...I don't flirt!"

"Oh, come ON. You are the queen of catty, the dictionary definition of pretty, and your blood is spiked with confidence-boosts. You have to know how to flirt."

She was right. I did know how to flirt, but I hadn't done it in, what, seven years?

"I won't flirt."

"Oh, whatever. Go talk to him, then." Kim eyed Seth curiously, jumped up to whisper in his ear, and then he smiled.

"Whoops," he said as he not-so-nonchalantly pushed his hands against my back, effectively shoving me directly into Red-Hat boy.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So...He just pushed his **

**sister into her new imprint.**

"**Yes, yes I did."**

**Brill idea, Seth. Just top**

**notch work.**

"**Why, thank you! **

**I do try..."**

**I couldn't think of a**

**better idea mys—**

**OH, WAIT.**

"**Yes?"**

**I did think of it.**

**I am the author.**

"**Oh, forget you."**

I watched as Kim's plan went into action. Leah was pushed forward, and she fell into the Red-Hat wearer. He let out a gasp, and his chair tipped over. Leah fell on top of him. Oooh, not what I had expected. My feet were slowly edging backwards, but I didn't notice so much, since my eyes were glued on my sister's back. She was laying on top of a stranger. I didn't like it so much... But then she was clambering to her feet, and speaking, so I tuned in to listen.

"...sorry, sorry, sorry!" Leah apologized over and over, helping Red-Hat boy to his feet. He smiled at her, though, dusting himself off as his family watched in shock from their chairs. His little sister was smiling broadly.

"Its alright," he grinned. "I'm Milo, by the way. And you are?"

"Leah," she replied, looking as though she were about to die.

"Why are you here, at the wedding?" asked Milo (who was no longer Red-Hat boy, thank god.)

"A...A friend of the bride's." Well, technically, she was the bride's second cousin and the groom's ex girlfriend, but I guess she didn't want to bore this Milo dude with the details.

"Oh, I'm Sam's cousin."

"That's....thats nice?"

"What, you aren't amused?" Milo was grinning wider, taunting my sister in a nice way. I wanted to walk away, because I felt like myself, Anna, Kim, and the various other people around the two were invading in their moment, but I felt drawn into my sister's happiness. How had she resisted Anna and I's happiness? She must have wonderful self control.

"C'mon, Anna," I whispered, turning my back to my sister and Milo. I grabbed Annabelle by the hand and tugged her away, not wanting to encroach upon Leah's moment of happiness. She followed, though she looked as though she might have liked to watch, too.

We walked back over to Jacob's table together, watching intently as he tried to feed Nessie steak. It was the same thing, over and over. He put the steak in her mouth, she'd chew, make a face, then spit it into his hand. After that, she might put her hand on his face. Now, remember. This was over, and over, and over... I missed Leah already. Sure, I loved Jake and all (brotherly, I mean) but Leah was my sister, and she wasn't feeding steak to a little monster that had almost killed Bella (I have nothing against Renesmee, but the fact that she nearly killed her own mother doesn't really make her a favorite in my mind. Sure, she's freaking adorable, buuut...)

"Ew," Anna's voice interrupted my thoughts. "I have chemo in two days."

"You'll be fine," I promised, looking down at her. Pulling out her chair, I motioned for her to sit.

"Maybe...can we go home? I...er...want..."

"Some crackers?" I guessed.

She blinked. "Uh. Sure."

"OK. Bye, Jake. Tell Leah we went back because Anna needed to eat something. We probably won't be back." Jacob nodded.

---------------- ---------------- ----------------- -----------------

**So...It's time.**

"**Yes it is."**

**Anna.**

"**Yes?"**

**Do you have**

**any idea at**

**all what you're**

**doing?**

"**...shut up."**

**Ehkay, ehkay.**

**Jeez. Touch-**_**y**_**.**

The car ride back to the house seemed longer than I would have expected. Seth chattered on about how happy Leah was going to be, but I wasn't really paying much attention, for which I felt bad about. I loved how Seth prattled on about the little things, because it let me forget about bigger things. Bigger things — like the fact that I was about to try to seduce him. My plans hadn't gotten very far. They pretty much ceased at the moment we exited the car. I had no idea how to "walk sexy", as Kim had put it when I asked her about...sex. Ugh. The word was impossible to think about. Dirty, dirty. But then, I wanted to experience it, didn't I? If everyone did it (no pun intended) then it had to be pretty amazing, didn't it?

Seth was looking at me in his peripheral vision. I could feel it. Was I freaking out that badly?

"What is it?" I asked, willing my voice not to shake.

"Nothing...except, you just seem...I dunno...off."

"Off?"

"Off," he agreed, his face adopting a pondering expression.

"Off...how?" My voice was sounding incredibly natural for the way I was feeling inside.

"Are you...nervous about something?"

God. I thought perceptive boys were unheard of...

"Chemo," I lied smoothely. It was the best lie I'd told in my entire life. My voice sounded just frightened enough to be believable. "I don't want to do it anymore." Lie — I wanted to live. But also true, because it took away the life I had left.

"Anna," he said dissaprovingly. He'd eaten my every word... I felt terrible for lying to him, and even worse because he was buying it. "You know you have to keep up with your chemotherapy."

"But it hurts," I whimpered, and it wasn't a lie, nor was I faking it. Chemo did hurt.

I immediately regretted telling him this. His face contorted into a pained spasm, but then he controlled himself. "I know," he said, and his voice sounded helpless and agonized.

We didn't talk anymore — I was fearful that this definitely wasn't going to work now. Maybe it was for the better that it didn't ha—no. I was talking myself out of it again. I would get what I wanted tonight. But Seth seemed much more intuitive than I had originally thought. He knew something was wrong, and that would definitely affect my chances at getting anything done tonight, let alone "putting the moves" on my boyfriend. Ugh. This was so impossible it wasn't even funny. He pulled my father's big van into the driveway of our house, and then pushed the door shut. It slammed, and I jumped a little. The poor car had probably never been slammed. Ever. Since my fingers had been crushed by the sliding door, nobody in my family — not even Grams, who was waiting for me to call her (I'd do that tomorrow sometime) — ever slammed doors. Maybe my dad would end up telling Seth that story. Goodness, that'd be sort of funny.

Coming around to my side, Seth opened the door for me — gentleman...ness... really payed off in my parents' eyes. The lights were turned off in the house. Perfect.

He walked me up the steps, his hand firm against my elbow. It was probably just me, thinking about what I was about to do, but his touch seemed different.

When I walked in, I nearly died of heart faliure.

"Hiyer Annaleise! How was yer bar mitzvah?" Grams was sprawled across my couch looking airy and fragile. Her hair seemed thinner than the last time I'd seen her, and when she spoke, I only saw gums. So her teeth had fallen out... I didn't bother to correct her on three things — we weren't Jewish, I wasn't thirteen, and it would be a bat mitzvah if I had one...

"H-Hi Grandma Bette," I said, my face draining of all color, then flushing a brilliant pink. Seth looked at me quizzically, but I couldn't even look him in the face. My wispy, drunk-y grandma looked at me, smiling widely. Could you smile without teeth? Of this, I didn't have a clue. "Where are mom and dad?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from betraying my relief...or my disappointment. I really wasn't sure which.

"Out," she said, rolling over to get comfortable. I hadn't the faintest clue of why she was laying on the couch, in the dark, when where were two beds in this house, not to mention a pull out couch, which she was laying on now.

"Oh," I sighed. Grabbing Seth's hand, I dragged him through the living room, up the stairs, down the hall, and into my bedroom. He complied willingly. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have made it an inch farther than he would have let me. Superhuman strength...

When we were in my bedroom, I completely flipped.

"Bathroom," I called over my shoulder, leaving him sitting on the bed. I pulled the cell phone my mom had gotten me off the charger when I reached the bathroom, sitting down on the toilet. I couldn't do this. I couldn't seduce him. I couldn't have...y'know. I couldn't even say the word! Kim picked up on the second ring.

"Help," I breathed after she greeted me with a chipper, "hello!"

"Help?" she said in disbelief. "I thought we had this all planned. Jared and I do that kind of thing all the —"

"EH," I said, drowning out the rest of her sentence. "I'm not you, and Seth isn't Jared. What do I do?"

"Well, you both get nekked..."

"Kim!"

"What?"

Ugh. It was like talking to a sarcastic ten year old who had gone through sexual education.

"Just...how do I...ugh. I can't even..."

"Just. Do. What. Feels. NATURAL." She was getting irked. "Look, I have to get back to the party. Bye."

There was a click, and the phone slipped out of my hands. Seth heard this, and there was barely a space of time for me to register that the phone was on the tile floor before he knocked on the door. "Is everything OK?"

I had the urge to say no, but I resisted. "Yeah. Gimme a sec..."

"OK."

I didn't hear footsteps leading away. I could picture Seth with his ear pressed to the door. This aspect frightened me...

"Alone?" I ventured. The floor boards creaked and Seth trailed uncertainly away from the door.

Taking several deep breaths, I tried to determine whether or not I would simply strip in front of him, or work up to it. _Or bail, that'd work too. You're sixteen! _my conscience scolded. _Yeah,_ I agreed with myself. But then I remembered why I wanted to do this in the first place. _I'm dying, though. I know it. I can feel it. I don't think I'm gonna get better, so this is how things have got to be._

Newfound confidence surged through me.

I was going to....

I was going to...uh...

BAH. I WAS GOING TO HAVE SEX.

_There,_ I reasoned, stepping out of the bathroom.

_Problem solved._

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Sooo...questions? Comments? Corn-cerns?

And about reviews — I'm starting anew.

I'm not gonna answer reviews already sent.

I'm deleting them all. Know that I have read through

each one, but I'm starting fresh on replying to them.

I apologize for this...

OK. Review!

Love, Allie


	42. BOOK TWO: TWENTY

Guys, I don't really have much explaination for keeping the story put off for so long besides the fact that I couldn't find a way to write this chapter. You'll see why – I needed to make a decision, and It took me a long time to do that.

Allie

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**So She's Almost There**

"**Yup."**

**Not much to say here, eh?**

**Getting lucky?**

"**You're ruining my moment…"**

**I tend to do that a lot, Annie.**

"**Its Anna."**

**I would know – I made you.**

"… **What?"**

I was so close.

I won't go into details, but we were on my bed in our undies, if that gives you an inkling of just how close I was to my goal – the start of really, really living.

And then a drop of my blood fell on his bare chest.

"Fuck!" I swore. Swearing wasn't something I usually condoned, but I'd been spending a lot of time around the pack and their potty mouths lately. Some of it must have rubbed off on me.

Seth wiped the blood off his chest with one finger. "Are you crying? Whats wrong?"

It was too dark for him to see me or what the blood was – I'd turned off the lights. It would have ruined it for him and I to see my body, destroyed by chemotherapy and cancer.

"Nose bleed," I murmured, sliding off of him. I turned on a light and fished around in my dresser for a t-shirt. Pushing my arms through the long sleeves, I sighed, grabbing tissues off of my nightstand. Seth sat up in bed, watching me. "Stay there," I ordered, plugging my nose up with bunched up Kleenexes. Crossing the room, I picked up my phone and wrote a text to Kim. _Mission aborted._

"Who was that to?" asked Seth. I deleted the message.

"Nobody," I lied, looking down at the floor. My eyes were watering up. I'd been so close. So, so close to what I'd wanted. He'd been willing! He'd been willing to give into my wishes, and my stupid, stupid –

"Anna?"

I leaned forward a little, letting the blood from my nose bleed into the tissue. I also pinched the bridge of my nose, though it made me look like I was angry. I was angry.

"Anna," Seth repeated. He pressed himself against my side. "Are you OK? Are you feeling anemic?"

"Stop trying to be my doctor! Jesus!" It was the first time I'd lashed out at him like that. I was just so tired of being sick. I was so tired of trying to kill this cancer. Because you never really go back to being normal when you're sick with a brain tumor. Because you change – part of you dies, and another part is born. It's strange and upsetting and now that it was happening to me, really happening to me, I hated it. I couldn't just hate the new, angrier Anna – I had to hate all of me. It was something I'd never done before. I'd always appreciated myself, and now I hated myself. What a change that was!

"I can't stand myself anymore," I wailed, and my tears were fresh. "I can't stand you understanding everything about my cancer and my tumor and everything! I want you to be my boyfriend, not my doctor! I hate this!"

I fell back onto the bed, and immediately turned over and coughed up a blood clot. After giving a few good hacks, I screamed, "and I hate that, too!"

I didn't care that Grams had probably woken up. The anger I'd had for not getting "my wish" had paled in comparison to this new anguish I was feeling.

Seth remained quiet as I cried and cried. "It'll be OK," he soothed. I felt his hand – more the warmth of it – hover over my back, and then vanish as he thought through what he was saying. Or maybe he heard me breathe in harshly, ready to yell again.

"It won't be OK, OK!? I can't take it. I really can't…"

Ten minutes later, I still hadn't stopped bleeding. "Can you call someone? Or will you just drive me to the ER?"

"Do you want an ambulance?"

"Well, what do you think, Dr. Clearwater," I said bitterly.

"I think it would scare your grandmother."

"Grandma Bette is drunk out of her mind. She probably wouldn't even wake up. An ambulance would be quicker, I guess."

Seth took my cell phone out of my hands and dialed 9-1-1. Soon he was rattling off my address and my medical information.

"I want you to leave," I said when he got off the phone. He looked at me for a moment, and his face crumpled a little. His brows knitted together, and he blinked a few times in rapid succession.

"Are you sure? I think I should come."

"If you have to."

It was three minutes before we heard the ambulance outside the house. Seth asked me to stay on the bed and while he got the door, I changed the tissues in my nose, leaving the bloody ones to litter the floor like trash on a busy highway. When the EMTs came to take my vital signs, Seth explained about the cancer, and recited facts about my chemotherapy dosages and drugs. First, I asked him, sounding strange to myself, to call my mother. Then I asked him to grab the tissue box off my dresser.

"Alright," he said, looking concerned.

The stretcher was the worst – I found myself wondering how much easier things would have been if I'd just let Seth drive me.

"I really don't need to be on this thing."

"Its protocol," said the woman, smiling fondly-and-sympathetically down at me. She was looking at my bald head, at my thin face.

They strapped me down and hauled me out the door. Grams was still sleeping on the couch. I knew she wouldn't even flinch. Somehow this didn't comfort me, especially as I watched the red and blue lights flash through our living-room windows. As they gingerly placed the stretcher down on our front steps, I caught the male EMT looking at my baldness. Seth glared at him as he walked behind the stretcher, his hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shrug it off, but I couldn't make myself do it. I still loved him, but it would make thing so much easier, so much more bearable if he just…

"Seth, _go_." I ordered, making myself shrink away from his touch. "Get Leah and Kim to come. Tell Leah to take Milo, too. Know what? Just Kim. Kim can handle things. Call her – her number is programmed into my phone. Then please, just go get a steak sandwich or something. Go meet this Milo guy. Just… go somewhere else. I can't take it, you being here. I can't bear it."

I turned my head away and heard him speaking on the phone quietly to Kim. From what I heard, she agreed to come. Before hanging up, I heard her yell to him that she was sorry.

He must have mentioned we were fighting…well, I was.

"Bye Anna, I love you," he said, then offered, "are you sure you don't want me to ride with you?"

"I'm fine. Bye, Seth, I – I love you too."

I figured I could give him that much. I'd been meaner than I should have been. Him being so accustomed to symptoms and drugs and protocol made me upset.

Seth gave a little smile and a nod, and I was reminded of the awkwardness that he showed when we first met – except, he was eager, then. Now he seemed only to want to get away to talk to someone about the events that had just unfolded. Sure, there was probably a part of him that wanted to stay with me, but another part – the part that grew up with an older sister that used to dress him up as a girl and call him Lisa (He'd confided this in me two weeks ago) – wanted to analyze our relationship. He probably wanted to ask Leah what to do, how to do it… he wanted advice.

He couldn't get advice with me there.

As the EMTs pushed the stretcher up into the ambulance, I gave Seth a feeble wave, then tried to imagine what I must have looked like to him, with bloody tissues hanging out of my nose and a big, bald head, waving like an idiot. My hand fell to my side.

Once the doors shut, the male EMT huffed. "Well, do you want to listen to some music?"

I nodded, staring at the monitor as the female EMT introduced herself as Deanna and hooked me up to the monitor by my finger.

"Like from Star Trek," laughed the guy EMT. "Deanna Troi?"

I didn't laugh, but the two of them did.

"Oh, stop it, you," she laughed. "That's Will."

"Hi Will," I said, then laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Deanna while Will turned on the radio.

"I sound like someone from Alcoholics Anonymous," I said, laughing harder. Deanna laughed, and then Will laughed, and soon we were all laughing. I laughed until my sides hurt. How strange, that I could laugh with these strangers and shout at my own boyfriend for knowing about my illness! I laughed at that while music played through the radio. It was a little blue portable one. As Will turned it up, I noticed a wedding ring on his finger.

"You're married? You're so young," I said, looking down at the silver band around his finger.

"I had to snag Ms. Troi before anyone else could," he smiled, and Deanna blushed.

"My last name was Czajkowski and you know it," she smiled.

"Like anyone could spell it," he laughed. "You're lucky I'm Will Brown."

"And I'm Deanna Brown," she said, continuing their playful banter.

_And will I be Anna Clearwater?_ The name certainly sounded nice. I pinched the bridge of my nose as "So What?" played in the background. The song ended quickly, and I tuned out the radio-announcer as Will spoke.

"So," he began. "…cancer?"

"A brain tumor," I said. "Well, technically its gone, but I had Astrocytomas, Grade three to be exact." I frowned as I said this. I'd just used Doctor Tamblin's words, exactly, to a tee.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Hey!" said Deanna, changing the subject smoothly. "Do you wanna turn on the siren?"

"Sure," I said, perking up at the thought.

"Seth!" she said, banging on the wall behind her. "Siren!"

Piercing noises filled the air outside of the vehicle, but I could only think about the EMT driver's name.

"Seth?" I asked curiously. "that's my boyfriend's name."

"Really? What a coincidence," said Will. "What's Seth like?"

"Uh," I said, wanting to change the subject. "He's great."

"Oh. Do you guys do a lot t—,"

"We're here!"

---------------- ---------------- ----------------

"Oooh," said Kim. "What does a nosebleed feel like?"

I didn't want to explain, so I just rolled over in bed, trying not to choke on my own blood. I should have been leaning forward, but I was too desperate to get away from Kim's strange, pressing questions to care about the fact that this wasn't stopping and it was at the most inopportune time.

"Oh, I get it that you're upset, Anna, really, I do, but there'll be other times, I swear!"

I looked at her where she sat in the wooden chair that a nurse had set aside for her. "Really?"

"It's not a one time thing, you know."

"It sure seemed like it," I reasoned.

"Oh, Anne! Jared and I do it all the time!"

I gagged, then coughed up another clot. Kim gagged, too. "Shouldn't we, er, get a nurse?"

"Probably…" I coughed again, away from Kim so she didn't have to see anything.

"I'll… go get the nurse!" Kim streaked out of the room, returning with a nurse who returned with a doctor three short minutes later.

"We'll have to pack her nose," said the doctor, addressing Kim.

I felt like saying,_ Hey, I'm over here!_ but instead I asked, "Where's Dr. Tamblin?" because I found myself longing for the familiarity of the big-chested woman.

"She's not on call," informed the doctor. "I'm Dr. Lee."

Dr. Lee pinched my nose, looked in my mouth, then felt my throat and neck.

"When was her last platelet infusion?" he asked, looking at Kim.

"Oh, I don't know," she says, looking terribly out of her element.

"Aspirin? Has she taken it?"

"I don't know," repeats Kim, shrinking back in her chair. The nurse pats her arm sympathetically.

"My last platelet infusion was on September 7th," I said, but it came out like mushy oatmeal. How Dr. Lee understood it was beyond me.

"Shush. Ms…"

He was looking at Kim. "Kim," she told him.

"Kim, we're going to pack Ms. Winston's nose. How about distracting her?"

As the strips of gauze were pressed into my nose, I closed my eyes so I didn't have to watch Kim fail. I felt as though I were eating a towel. I breathed in deeply through my mouth, trying to distract myself from the uncomfortable pain.

"Uh… uh…"

I wanted Seth back, I realized with a jolt. He knew about my illness and my treatments and he knew how to distract me and how to make me smile when I was in pain, and if he were only here, if only I hadn't sent him away…

"Remember when Seth, Leah and I had taken you to the beach?"

I smiled at the memory. It had been a week after I'd gotten out of the hospital, and a several days before my first round of chemotherapy would start. Kim had suggested that we go to the beach.

"It was sunny, for once," she laughed, and then looked outside the window for a moment, and I knew, as she listened to the rain on the glass, that she was wondering if she could do this. "And the water, how it sparkled! And do you remember how Seth got so burnt up? His shoulders blistered and do you remember Leah and you and I, and the water fight?"

I almost laughed as the doctor and the nurse chuckled. We'd waded into the water with out pantlegs rolled up, and then we'd admired the water for a while. Little fish nibbled at my toes and shells tumbled in the shallow waters and waves. I had been delighted by all of it. And then water had hit my back. I had whirled around to find Kim, grinning like an idiot with a water bottle in her hand, filled with seawater. Leah and I glanced at each other, then ganged up on Kim. Soon, we were all soaked to our skins and laughing.

"And Leah said she remembered how shy I used to be, and the second she turned around to pick up a shell, you and I splashed her and she was so surprised that she fell into the water!"

Now the doctor and the nurse were laughing happily.

"There, all done," said Dr. Lee, smiling down at me. "You two did a great job. Especially you, Ms. Kim."

Kim was glowing with pride.

"Only," said the nurse, looking uneasily. "I think we'll have to cauterize. Don't you agree, Doctor?"

"We'll give it a few minutes, then check."

The doctor and nurse left the room. Five minutes later, I'd bled through the gauze. The doctor asked me if I wished to contact my parents before he started cauterizing, and I said yes.

After I called my mom, the doctor explained to me and Kim what he was going to do.

"And after we cauterize," he finishes, "we'll give you two units of platelets and you'll be on your merry way. Sound good?"

"Yes," said Kim as Dr. Lee wielded his tools.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

"How do you feel, Annie?"

"I can smell my own flesh burning."

"Not so good, then?"

"I'm fine."

That was about the most that was said between my mother and I as she sat with me. Kim had gone home, or back to the party. I didn't know which. A bag of yellow liquid was dripping into my arm – no, hadn't we agreed it was blue? The memory made me smile. I was feeling so depressed since I'd told Seth off for knowing about my condition and my medications and such.

I looked at the IV line that was feeding into my arm and sighed.

"You… you can go home, mom."

"No, no. You're almost done. You'll need a ride home, sweetie."

I hadn't thought of that. "Oh. Yeah."

It was early in the morning – 3:45 am early. So I was surprised when Dr. Tamblin burst through the door, looking worried and huffing.

"You… got… a nosebleed?"

"Uh, yeah?" I said, inclining my head to the unit of platelets.

"Well… I think… we… should…"

"Take a breather, woman," my mom ordered the younger woman. Dr. Tamblin took a deep, steadying breath.

"Did you run here?" I asked curiously.

"Yes," she huffed, leaning against the doorframe.

"Why?" asked my mom, looking nervously from me to the doctor.

"I heard Anna got a nosebleed, and I've decided that we'll be running some tests on her."

"What?! I just want to go home!"

I was getting worked up – I could feel it in the corners of my eyes. Salty tears welled up, threatening to spill over and betray my anger.

"Calm down, just blood work," assured the doctor. My mother looked relieved.

I sat straight up in bed. "Couldn't you just use the blood that I lost? Why didn't anyone think to take the blood that was dripping out of my nose?!"

Dr. Tamblin sighed, brandishing a syringe. "It'll take one second, Anne."

"Don't call me Anne," I pouted as she stuck me in the arm. I tried to think about how I couldn't possibly feel my own blood pouring into the little bottle, but I felt like I could. She filled up three vials with my blood and then left without a backward glance.

"She seems edgy," commented my mom.

"Not her bimbo self," I agreed.

My mother glared.

I don't know how I slept that morning, with a IV line in my arm, delivering valuable platelets into my system, but I did. And I never heard Seth pacing outside the door, either.

---------------- --------------- ---------------- ----------------

I hope that sort of long chapter will be enough for you to forgive me…


	43. BOOK TWO: TWENTY ONE

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So… He's Pacing?**

"**Why can't you just**

**Talk to me normally?"**

**Like how?**

"**Like, say, 'So,**

**You're pacing?'"**

**That's lame, Seth.**

**I thought you'd**

**Realize it.**

"…"

Most people would think pacing back and forth in front of a door would get boring after a while.

For most people, it probably does.

Me? I liked pacing. It gave my feet something to do while I was trying to convince the rest of myself not to barge in and proclaim my undying affection for the bald girl behind the door. It let me concentrate on my feet hitting the floor and it allowed me to block out the thoughts of telling her that I would be there, no matter what, whether she saw me or not.

That would creep her out, though.

So I paced. I could hear her heart, though the door. Werewolves do have good hearing. I could hear her mother cracking her knuckles, and I could hear Anna breathing steadily. She must have been sleeping. My footsteps sounded loud in the hallway. A nurse walked past me, looking at me curiously. They must have changed shifts, because I hadn't seen her here before.

"You know, you can go inside that room. Ms. Winston isn't contagious."

"Oh, I know," I said quietly, but then I heard a sigh from within the room.

"Seth." I heard sheets rustle, and I knew she had sat up in bed. Maybe she was staring at the door. "Seth," she repeated, sounding a little agitated.

"Good luck," said the nurse kindly.

"I heard that," said Anna grumpily. As I opened the door, I saw her sinking back into the bed, looking pointedly at her mother. Darlene looked pointedly at me, though I was sure that she didn't know why she was looking at me with such an expression.

"Well?" said Anna, blinking at me. "What brought you here?"

"What brought me here?" I echoed lamely.

Well, I could have said, you're like a magnet, Anna. I'm the negative side, you're the positive. We're interlocking. The closer I get, the harder it is to stay away from you, and the farther away I get, the more it feels like I'm missing half of myself.

But I couldn't tell her that when her mom was in the room. I couldn't tell her that under any circumstance. So instead, I said, "I wanted to see how you were doing. I worry about you."

"Mmm," said Anna, rolling onto her side and dragging the IV line with her. She didn't wince, but instead adjusted the line so that she could lie comfortably.

I stood awkwardly in the doorway. Darlene smiled. "Why don't you sit down, Seth?"

"Stand," ordered Anna. "You won't be here very long."

Darlene glanced at her daughter, her eyebrow quirked.

"Listen to me," she said, as if I weren't already hanging onto her every word. "I asked you to leave. There was a reason for that. I don't randomly go ordering people around, Seth, you would know. I won't tell you my reason for that, but I expect you to respect my wi – Dr. Tamblin, can't you tell I'm having a moment here?"

The blonde doctor stood in the doorway, then shrunk back a little.

"Gosh, when did I get so mean?" she asked herself. "Sit," she added as an afterthough.

"I'm sorry," she continued, "that I yelled at you. Yesterday, today. All the times I yelled at you. I'm just… so tired of it all. Of waiting. Do you get that? Does anyone understand that? I… I just want something to happen. Anything to happen. I can't wait any longer for this disease to make up its mind. I can't stand it."

She was crying now, running her hands along her bald head, as if searching for a scrap of hair to grab in her frustration. "I can't bear it," she continued, looking as though she were going into hysterics.

I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell her 'I know', which I thought I knew, but then, _did_ I know? What did I, Seth Clearwater, know about what this situation as doing to Anna? What did I know about the emotion wear and tear that it brought her? I knew what it did to me – it made me sore, it made me ache, it made me want to go out there and… and I didn't even know, because I was so fed up with all of this. But not as much as Anna, whom all of this was happening to.

But then, wasn't it all happening to me as well?

Our fates were entwined, in a way. What happened to her, her pain, it was almost my pain, too.

Imprinting was seriously sick.

But then, it was also amazing. I probably would have liked Anna, anyway, even if I weren't a werewolf. Imprinting gave me an encouraging nudge to get on with my life – my life with Anna.

"And I'm sorry about this," she said, her lips trembling as she shoved her face down into her pillow.

"I… its… I'm sorry."

She turned her head from the pillow and glared blearily at me. "For. What."

It was barely a question. Her voice was a monotone as she studied me. I couldn't place the emotion on her face, but it wasn't something pleasant.

"Uh…"

"Know what? I don't want to know," she sniffled, then gave a little smile.

It was enough for me. Anna rubbed her eyes, and after she cleared her tears, the red blotches on her face cleared up. After a minute, she began to apologize again.

"I'm sorry ab—"

She was interrupted by a knock on the doorframe as Dr. Tamblin stood eyes red and puffy, in the doorway. The door was swung wide open, and normally she would have bounced right in without warning, but instead she hovered on the edge, watching our little exchange.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------

**So She's Pleased**

"**Yup."**

**Nothin' much**

**To say here.**

"**Nope."**

As the doctor stood in the doorway, I blinked in confusion. What could make such a bubbly, happy doctor cry?

"Anna," she said, and I saw her eyes water up a little more.

I sat up, but I didn't say anything. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was understanding. The rest of me didn't get it, though, and so I sat, stupidly, watching Dr. Tamblin clear her eyes.

"You're tests came back."

I blinked. One part of my mind challenged, so what? But the other part knew better. I was holding it back, what I had known for so long.

My mother's hand wound its way into mine. _So I was right,_ I thought as I felt a ring press into my hand.

"I should have been more aggressive!" exclaimed the doctor suddenly, and fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "I should have done more!"

My mother trembled. I didn't look at Seth, but he was pressing himself closer and closer to me.

I was calm, though. I knew. I'd known the whole time.

"You're tests… the lumbar puncture… we weren't aggressive enough. The cancer cells multiplied too quickly. Your brain tumor is back, Anna, and the cancer is in your spinal fluid."

I understood.

"We can't operate again – I don't know what we can do!" Dr. Tamblin was an new, studying oncologist. Her first name was Eva. She came from North Carolina, but her job had brought her to Seattle. She had a dog named Sammie and a little brother named James who loved to race quads. He was seven years old, and full of life with curly blonde hair and dimples. She'd told me this as she'd put a needle into my back and pulled back a long plunger. She'd told me she could save me, but even doctors could be stupid sometimes. I'd always known.

My mother let out a sob. I flinched away from the awful sound, looking at her like she was some kind of deranged animal. She howled and wailed like a child who'd had something snatched from him. I was not moved.

"There's nothing," I said. It wasn't supposed to be a question, even though the words sounded like they should have been, especially in context with the situation, but I already knew the answer.

Doctor Eva Tamblin shook her head and cried openly.

I knew. I had known all along.

---------------- ---------------- ---------------- ----------------


	44. RECESS TWO

OK. So, the story isn't over. The truth? I'm terrified to finish it. I promise that I'll have a chapter up… eventually. I have to think a little bit about my decision, and what I'm going to do with it. I've told some of you I was above vampirism… I lied. I'm still considering it, as it would allow for a sequel. The thing is, I think I'm going to have two endings – the real one, and an alternate one. I just don't know what my main decision is.

OK? I got my first flame =D I was so excited. Not… Either way, it was both the negative and the positive (disappointed) reviews that made me write this little tidbit. DO expect something to come up, though.

I'm very, very sorry about leaving you all hanging like this, but I intend to finish this story.

I just have to think a bit.


	45. BOOK THREE: ONE

Here it is xP Apologizing in advance for the swearing.

Ehm…I might have gone a little overboard with that.

-- -- -- --

**So… She's Dying**

"**Nice of you to point it out."**

I ordered them out – both of them. Seth and my mother. Dr. Tamblin stayed. Was she still my doctor if I was doomed? Was she still my doctor, even if she could no longer do anything for me? Well, she was a doctor, I guess, but she wasn't my doctor if there was nothing left to do. If there was nothing left to save me. Thinking about it, I frowned. Dr. Tamblin was wiping her eyes on her coat. When she was finished, she looked at me. Her eyes were still red and blotchy, but she took a deep, steadying breath and swallowed before saying, "Let's get that IV outta your arm."

I held out my arm, calm and collected, as she shuddered a little and began peeling the tape off my arm. I had no reason to be shaken – hadn't I always insisted I was going to die? Hadn't I always known somewhere, deep down, that the end was near? I'd never given much thought to my future – I mean, sure, I'd always assumed that I was going to live to see my future, but I hadn't ever imagined what it might hold instore for me. Now that I was thinking about it, I might have liked a kid or two, or to be married to Seth officially… maybe now that I knew about the mythical creatures that surrounded me, I might have liked to let my mom and dad in on the secret. It felt weird, keeping things from my dad. Sure, I'd lied to my mom a couple of times, but never my dad. And now I had to watch my mouth around them both. Even now that I was dying. I'd have to talk to Sam Uley about that.

"What do you think it'll be like, dying?" I asked, then let out a loud "YOW!" as Dr. Tamblin stabbed the IV into my arm. She quickly yanked it out, murmuring hushed apologies to me as she went to the garbage can in the corner of the room, disposed of the tape and the plastic bit that fed into my body, and then grabbed a cotton ball, rushing back and pressing it into the niche in my arm.

"Anna," she scolded quietly, and I knew she was holding back tears, but I didn't stop.

"No, really," I pressed. "Do you believe in an afterlife and stuff? Do you think it'll hurt? What about before I die? The moment I die? Do you –"

"I don't know," dismissed Dr. Tamblin, wiping at her eyes.

"You've never had a patient die before, have you?" I looked up at her, shock in my eyes, and then a wide smile broke out across my face. "_You haven't!_ I'm your first!"

"I –" but she didn't finish her sentence, because my mom chose that moment to walk into the room, still bawling.

"My baby," she said. Her face looked like a piece of paper someone had messed up. And you can always tell when someone has wrinkled a piece of paper – no matter how hard you try to smooth it back. I knew the wrinkles that were breaking out across her broken face wouldn't go away. It hurt to know it was my fault.

I didn't know what to say to her. She hugged me and was shaking with tears, and all I could do was wrap my arms uncertainly around her and pat her shoulder. I didn't know where Seth had gone off to, but I hoped he was gone. What did a werewolf do when their object of imprinting was gone from the world? I hoped he would be OK someday. I knew it wouldn't be at first – he'd probably contemplate suicide. I knew this was true, even though I wish it wasn't. Someone would need to keep an eye on him… I'd have to talk to Sam Uley about that, too. Or maybe Leah could handle it – I didn't know how things were going with Milo, so I couldn't assume much…

How weird, that I was already arranging things. I was preparing for when I wouldn't be here, so calmly, as if I were planning a stranger's birthday party and had a list of things that needed to be done. It was so impersonal to me – I was doing it as if it weren't happening to me at all.

It hit me, a little bit, right there. It hit me that I wouldn't be there – I would be gone from the earth. I hadn't the faintest idea what death was like, but I knew it was coming. I didn't know how far off it was, but it was approaching steadily.

Thinking about that, I turned to Dr. Tamblin, who was looking awkwardly at the floor tiles and still holding the cotton ball to my arm, as I hadn't taken it from her like I usually did.

"How long?" I asked, and for the first time since the startling news of my impending demise, my voice cracked. This brought on a new round of hysterics from my mother, but I swallowed hard.

"I don't know, I can't be sure, I –"

"How. _Long._"

"I don't know... I don't have much to work off of, but…." Dr. Tamblin paused to swallow mournfully before muttering something incoherent.

"What?"

"Four to six," she murmured, and she broke down crying again.

I started crying, too, but I was angry, too. "Four to six what!? Weeks, months? What do I have?"

"Months!" she wailed.

I finally let loose, too, wailing and crying into my mother's shoulder.

How could I be dying? It didn't seem right – I'd just found my place. Sure, I hadn't been dancing, which had been killing me – well, not literally, obviously – but I had been happy with life. And now it was getting taken away. All of it. I would die at the pitifully new age of sixteen. It was so bitter. The people around me would live into their eighties, nineties… even more, in some peoples' cases, but that wasn't the point – _everyone was going to outlive me_. Everyone would probably lead long, healthy lives, and yet here I was, in a hospital bed, knowing I was going to die in four to six months. How… horrible. Unfair. I felt robbed. I squeezed my mother as if by holding her, I was keeping a grip on life. I squeezed and I grabbed at her, scratching the bare skin that her halter top revealed. My nails dug into her back, and she kept a good hold on me, too. If I didn't know better, I might think she was having the same idea that I had – if I just held onto her, and she just held onto me, there was no way death could take me. If I was bound to the earth by her motherly love, I could just live forever.

Exhausted, I let myself go limp in her arms, still shaking with grief at my own lost life. What had happened to me knowing? I had known I was going to die! I'd stated it on multiple occasions, and I… I…

I sobbed once more before straightening up and wiping my eyes, my mother looking frightened and lost as she stared at me with wide blue doe eyes.

"No more chemo," I breathed weakly, straightening up and holding my mother at arm's length. She let out another sob.

"No, no," I argued, my eyes still red. "Seriously. My hair is going to come back. Right? Right?"

I looked wildly to my right, where Dr. Tamblin was crouching watching our exchange.

"Yes," she said. "In a month or two, I think."

"Good. Great," I said, feeling my bald scalp staring at my mother with incredulity. I tried to re-imagine myself with hair – would it come back like normal? There wouldn't be time, before I died, for it to get as long as it had been before, but it'd be there. "It'll come back. I won't have to be bald in a coffin."

This brought on a new round of tears from her, but I felt comforted by the fact that I would soon have hair.

Now that my bravado had worn off, I felt weak. I was laying against my mother when Dr. Tamblin peeked her head into my room and uttered a quick, "no" before ducking out. I still heard her crying, though.

Where was Seth?

-- -- -- --

**So He's A Wreck**

…

**Hello?**

**You there?**

… **ah well.**

I ran home. I couldn't deal with what was happening right now. I just couldn't. Really? Fuck it. Fuck it all. My mind was a whirlwind as I pelted through the parking lot. I didn't care who looked at me or what Sam would say when he found out I'd ran through broad daylight… well, as fast as I could run. It was pelting rain, and soon I was soaked, but I didn't care. As soon as I had crossed the road into the forest, I screamed. I punched a tree. I cried. Yes, it's not the manliest thing to do, but I cried, I'll admit. I cried like a little baby. I wailed and wailed and wailed. It didn't take long for someone to find me. It was Leah. The small grey werewolf that approached me was looking pretty fucking pissed, but I was ready to pick a fight with anyone or anything. I stood up to meet her as she ducked behind a tree and emerged in a sundress.

"What the fuck is your problem!? I can hear you from the Rez!"

"What's _my_ fucking problem!?" I was echoing again, but this time, with my anger and anguish and pain exploding over the limit, it sounded ferocious, rather than lame.

"Really!" she shouted, and for a moment, I saw every tooth in her mouth as she snapped at me, finishing with a snarl. "What did that tree do to you!?" She gestured to her left, where the tree I punched was looking rather feeble. "Stop being an idiot. Where's Anna?"

"Oh. WHERE'S ANNA, SHE SAYS."

"… yeah, that's what I said. Quit stating the obvious. Idiot." She was smiling now. Smiling. I couldn't even comprehend it. Smiling, and Anna was going to die.

I shook a little bit before I could calm myself enough to answer my sister. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault. I had to remind myself this as I turned away from her. When she spoke again, she sounded adamantly regretful and concerned.

"Seth? What's up, bro?"

"Anna," I said through clenched teeth, trying to keep myself from crying. She seemed to understand, because she didn't say anything at first.

Her response came, though. "More chemo?"

I broke, right then. I let out a loud yell, and I walked forward, away from Leah, and punched another tree. It snapped under my angry fist.

"Seth, it's just more chemo. It's – oh my god." I'd heard her approaching hesitantly, but her footsteps had halted abruptly as what he assumed was realization dawned on her.

She said one word as I quivered before the splintering tree.

"No."

I kept shaking. Leah wasn't worried about calming me, though. I heard her weight crash to the forest floor, and when I spun around, she was curled into a ball on the ground, her lip quivering as she stared at the space behind my legs.

When she started crying, I wasn't ready for it. The wrenching sound – it shocked me. For a moment, I was shaken from my angry stupor and I stared at her as though she had appeared out of thin air.

Sitting down next to her, I leaned my head against her shoulder and stared at the destroyed tree and it dawned on me. It was really, really happening. She was going to die. She had accepted it as coldly and calmly as if she were being informed of the weather. Impassive. Blasé. As though she didn't care at all.

Leah was crying. This should have phased me a little more than it did, but I had other things to worry about. It was an odd sight, two people sitting in the middle of the forest, one crying, the other, well… looking like I did. And it was still raining.

Life sucks ass.

-- -- -- --

**So… She's Dying**

I was still weak, laying against my mom, when a thought occurred to me.

"Dad."

"We'll wait, to tell him," said my mom, stroking my bald head and looking down at me with hopeless, damp eyes. My eyes welled up with tears, and she cradled my head in her lap. I felt like a child, and I wanted to be as small as I felt. I wanted to fit into her lap and let her hold me and tell me it was all taken care of, like the time that Thomas Walker stuck bubblegum in my hair and I was so upset, and she held me after my haircut had left my hair three inches shorter and she had just said, "Oh, Anne, it's all taken care of" as if it would comfort me. It did.

"He needs to know," I reasoned.

"How are we supposed to tell him?" My mother was on the verge of tears again, so I sat up and shushed her with a glance.

"I'll take care of it," I whispered, though I knew it would be tougher than tough. "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you go home?" I asked. "I sort of… need some… time."

I wouldn't cry again. I wouldn't cry.

"No, I don't think –"

"Please."

"I won't! I don't have much time with you, Anne! You're my ba—"

"Go!"

She gave me a hard, pitiful look, and then let out a little sob, kissing my forehead and shuffling awkwardly from the room.

-- -- -- --

It took an hour for Seth and Leah to show up.

Leah was ripping at the seams – I could tell by the way she pressed her lips into a tight line when she looked at me. Seth was staring at me with a pained look on his face, and he wouldn't quit looking, so I concentrated on Leah.

"I said I wouldn't cry," she said feebly as tears began welling up in her eyes.

"Don't cry – wait until I'm actually dead," I half joked, but then I started crying a little, too.

"I'll miss you like hell," she whispered in my ear as she bent down to hug me.

"Don't miss me, I'm not gone!"

"I will miss you when you are, though," she said, pushing me back and frowning at me.

"But I'm not," I protested. Seth made a noise that sounded, well, horrible, but I chose not to look in his direction.

"Whatever," Leah sniffled, backing away. Seth got up and crossed to the side of the bed where Leah had stood, crouching down so I didn't have to look up at him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and I put a bony hand up to his cheek. "It'll be OK."

"It won't be," he said, and he began crying in earnest. "I know it won't."

"When I'm gone –"

"_Don't._"

"– you'll get over me. It'll take some time, but you will."

"I won't," he frowned, looking me in the eye. "I promise."

"Don't make stupid promises," I ordered. "Don't. You're being an idiot about this."

"I'm being an idiot? Anna, you're…"

"Dying," I finished, giving him a hard look. "Yeah. That'd be about right."

"There's no idiotic way to handle death."

"Touché," snuffled Leah from the corner of the room, where she'd taken a chair.

"Uh, yeah there is. I'm not even dead yet. Wait until I die, then you can overreact."

"Again, touché," Leah offered from the corner.

"Why is everyone getting over this so quickly!?" asked Seth. "If you ask me, it's all going way too fast! Shouldn't we all be crying!?"

"I already cried," I put forward.

"I'm waiting until she's actually dead," said Leah, before adding a cheeky, "Conserve water, you know."

"I love you," I vowed quietly. "But you're going to cope with this your way, and I'll do it my way. OK?"

"I love you too," said Seth, and it brought new tears to his eyes. His face was close enough to mine that I could kiss him, but I didn't – instead, I pressed my forehead to his and let a few tears sneak out.

"I'll miss you when I'm gone," I promised. "And I swear, you'll find someone new."

"Will not," he said, taking his finger and tracing a teartrack on my cheek. I wiped his away.

"Be a big boy. We've got six months."

He blinked at the news, and two more tears snaked down his face.

"We'll get through this," I whispered, trying to console him.

I hoped I wasn't lying.


	46. BOOK THREE: TWO

A/N: Hi guys. I'll just get this out quickly – I'm a bad, bad person. I got caught up in my own life, and I left this story hanging, and that's not fair at all to those of you who've been following it. You can leave me all the terrible, mean, scathing reviews that you want, because I deserve it, and don't get your hopes up too much because there's no telling if I'll drop off the face of the earth again. But I'm going to try and finish this for you. I abandoned this story because, truth be told, I'm TERRIFIED to end it. Terrified. Killing Anna seems like killing my kid, or killing my little sister or something. I don't know if I can do that. So, like I think I've mentioned before, the end is still debatable. However, it'll be my choice what I end up doing with this story, and no matter how many times you beg me to keep Anna alive, the story will go on how I intend it to.

Wow, that was depressing and altogether way too serious for my liking. It's nice to be back! I've missed you guys – if any of you are reading this now, and not too mad at me for leaving you hanging. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

-- -- -- --

**Not much to say?**

"**Nope."**

**Sorry, Anne.**

"**No you're not."**

… **You're probably right.**

"**You love to torture me."**

**Truuuuue. So true. It's out of**

**Love, though. You know it is.**

Waking up, I was slightly disoriented. The room was pitched black, and when I moved, I could feel stark, clean sheets beneath my body and over my shoulders. _Sterile_ sheets. I was still at the hospital. Blinking in the sudden, pressing darkness, my hand reached out and encountered something warm and calloused, and my heart immediately calmed. Seth was there. I could hear quiet breathing – there were at least three people sleeping in this room. My mother's short, shallow, quick breaths were easily discernable. Leah's deep, sure breathing was coming from my right, and Seth's soft snores to my left. Suddenly, it all felt like too much to bear. How could I leave all of these people behind? All of this love, this calm, these people… surely it was too much, surely my heart would explode from the grief of knowing in four-to-six short months, I'd be making a journey they couldn't follow me on.. I took a deep, steadying breath, trying to locate myself in time. Six months was all I had. Tops. There was nothing for me after half of a year. To have time measured out like that, it was sickening. My stomach turned, and I squeezed the warm hand resting on my bed. Seth's snores stuttered, and he murmured gentle nothings in his sleep – something about a time machine and a pirate ship. At least he was sleeping.

Vaguely, I wondered what time it was, searching for the only source of light in the room – the red numbers of an alarm clock, next to my bed. It was near three in the morning – I'd slept for two hours. My father would be coming tomorrow, and I would have to break him the news. Maybe dreams of falling, the dream that had woke me up, were better than thinking about tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the rest of my vastly shortened life, for that matter.

Sitting up in bed, I dropped Seth's warm hand and blinked into the darkness. It wouldn't be wise to go back to sleep now – I was too awake. My dreams would take strange, unrealistic, terrifying twists. That was what always happened when, wide awake, I tried to go to bed. Throwing my feet over the side of the bed, I stood shakily. Why we were still in the hospital was beyond me. I knew my mother was trying to convince Dr. Tamblin to get me into some experimental drug trial, but it wasn't worth it to me. Why make my last few months more miserable than they had to be? Chemotherapy was bad enough – why beat a dead horse? Pumping me up with more chemicals, and an inkling of hope, only to have it dashed when my lungs filled up with fluid and I gurgled to death. Yes, I'd been doing research – not much, though, but in the past weeks, I had been learning about what death could be like, and some of the stories made my toes curl.

"Anne? 'S that you?"

I could tell he wasn't totally awake – his words were slurred, and I could hear him stirring.

"Go back to bed," I suggested quietly. For a moment, I thought he had – his breathing evened out and he was mostly silent for a moment, but then he sighed.

"It's late," he yawned, and I could just barely hear his fists rubbing into his eyes as he tried to locate me in the dark room.

"Early, actually," I whispered – my mother and his sister were still sleeping peacefully.

There was a pause that I took as Seth glancing at the clock before he asked a quiet question that I didn't want to answer at all. "Are you scared?"

"Me?" I asked, stalling. For a moment, I calculated my answer. "Not at all."

There was a scathing silence, and I knew he was skeptically staring at wherever he thought I was, unbelieving.

"Maybe a little," I amended, frowning into the pitched-blackness.

He couldn't seem to find anything to say to that, so I shuffled my bare feet into the cool tile floor, my body desperately needing something to do with itself.

"You should really go back to sleep."

"No, I shouldn't. I'll have a weird dream if I do."

"What kind of weird dream?"

"A falling one, and I'll have a little spaz-attack. You know, when you're half asleep, half awake and you randomly dream about falling, or walking down a staircase and you miss the final step? I always have those if I wake up in the middle of the night and fall asleep."

It wasn't the whole truth – it happened on occasion, but when I finally did get to sleep, the real freaky dreams started. Dreams of earthquakes and people on the interstate screaming, ten car pile ups and Seth at the end of a very dark tunnel, shouting for me to run the other way. I never did follow directions, but no matter how far I ran, he was always the same distance away, waving his arms and shouting for me to run. I never knew what I was running from, but I couldn't handle that, not tonight, when thoughts of death and pain bounced around my head like rubber balls.

"I've never had a dream like that," Seth put forward conversationally. I didn't answer him, instead listening to the silence of the room, the light, sure breathing of Leah and my mother.

"I don't want to die," I blurted out, even knowing that it was going to do more harm than good, letting him know how I really felt. Somehow, in the darkness, I found him, sitting in a chair beside my bed, as though waiting for me. I felt like a child, clambering into his lap and letting his warm arms slide around me, like a comforting seatbelt on a road that could only end in a car crash. Two quiet tears leaked down my face, one after the other, and I took a shuddering breath, breathing in the woodsy scent of his clothes, of his skin, of _him_, and doing that just made it all the more terrible, more frightening, more _unfair._ I'd always held up my chin, never asked anyone "Why me?", and what good had it done? I was going to die… it hadn't helped to suck it up, because in the end, I was heading for the end!

Wasn't it fair for me to be afraid?

To be terrified?

No. Because if I were terrified, everyone else would be terrified. If I broke, they all broke. I would be an anchor, because everyone else had been solid for me when I needed them, and now it was my turn, to do my part, to reassure, to let them know that it'd work out in the end, I promise.

Even if it wouldn't.

I didn't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I had a warm feeling around me, in me, and it wasn't just the heat radiating from Seth. A cold drop hit my stomach, though, as I thought, _How is it possible for me to do this?_

I didn't have a choice, though. I had to do it, I knew, as I looked from sleeping-friend, to sleeping-mother, to sleeping-soul-mate. I owed it to them, if not to myself, to stick it out to the end, or die trying. (Well, that sounded stupid – of course I was going to die trying. I had to get used to that thought.) Closing my eyes and fighting the sense of duty out of my system, I tried to find sleep, to clutch it in my hand and hold onto it for a few hours before I had to do the unthinkable – to crush the hope out of my father's eyes. My stomach churned, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

A few hours of escape would be much needed.

-- -- -- --

Soo.. I may or may not update again today? I don't know. I probably owe it to you all… this was a very fluffy chapter, because I sort of needed to reacquaint myself with writing, haha. But yeah… review? Flame? I deserve the former. Love you guys, and I missed you like crazy.

Allie


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